Quote from: The Flying Lemur on March 18, 2018, 06:22:04 PM
If I had to choose between looking male but still being misgendered 100% of the time and looking female but being correctly gendered as male, I'd opt for the second.

Yup, same with me!!! Well said  .

Quote from: The Flying Lemur on March 18, 2018, 06:22:04 PM
  That said, the body dysphoria is pretty horrific.  I can sort of deal with not having the correct anatomy below the belt, but my chest just gives me the horrors.  An unwary look in the mirror can really tank my mood.

Same with me again...

Quote from: PurpleWolf on March 18, 2018, 09:20:39 PM
Totally understand & agree!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've been avoiding my family for aforementioned reason forever. They can't respect me - fine, I don't wanna be around that.

It's their loss! You have a lot of great things to share and ask good questions too

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In the past I focused on the social disphoria, because I thought I had to be more male and I forced myself to hide behind a mask. Now I got a different social environment and I feel so much better, because people like me exactly the way I am. My roommates say that I am "the best stay at home mom ever". When my family says that I "don't look that masculine" I take that as a compliment, because I like to be androgynous. So on the social side I am quite confident.

My body is quite skinny, I like that. I would like to be a bit stronger, but I don't want my muscles to grow. I feel really disphoric about my penis since I had an operation when I was 13/14. I lost feeling down there and it doesn't pleasure me at all. It doesn't feel part of my body. Sometimes when I take a shower and look down I just start crying. I can have sex with my penis and I had, it can be satisfying for others, but not for me.

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Quote from: The Flying Lemur on March 18, 2018, 06:22:04 PM
I guess social is worse.  If I had to choose between looking male but still being misgendered 100% of the time and looking female but being correctly gendered as male, I'd opt for the second.

I've been thinking about this the past ten minutes and I can't make my mind up how I feel on it. It seems like it's more important for me to have the male form than for other people to notice it. But I get what you mean. One without the other is still misery.

QuoteThat said, the body dysphoria is pretty horrific.  I can sort of deal with not having the correct anatomy below the belt, but my chest just gives me the horrors.  An unwary look in the mirror can really tank my mood.

Till the other day I would say I had a fairly "nice rack", but I like nice racks on other people, not on me. There's just something so bloody awful about how they command attention when you don't want them there, sticking out, no matter how much you try to push them back in. I'll say one thing though - soon as they're absent, they immediately cause you to think about other flaws as well if they were your primary body issue. Like as soon as I looked down I noticed - proportionally speaking - how much other work is needed on my upper body for the right dimensions. T has stripped weight off my legs and ass and stuck it right on my stomach, which I could suddenly see so perfectly so I was immediately horrified about that too.

I mostly just experience social dysphoria and body euphoria right now. I've only had body dysphoria on a small handful of occasions, but getting my hysterectomy eliminated that.

So update on my original post in this thread. Body dysphoria is now 100% the bigger issue and has become a bit of a runaway train. It has been consuming me pretty much constantly. Though I take that as a bit of a good thing in that the same time, looking at some of the recent pictures I've taken alleviates that body dysphoria pretty effectively. I can see an end, even if the road is rough (facial hair and lack of head hair are what it keeps coming back to).

Quote from: Roll on December 11, 2017, 09:25:30 PM
A sort of social dysphoria in a sense for me, but a lot of that may just be my natural anxiety. I never felt right with my role in the world, and I have years spent never leaving my house to prove it.

My body dysphoria has become more pronounced though of late. I never volunteered for pictures ever, but occasionally one would crop up I couldn't get out of it. Seeing those before made me embarrassed, but seeing them not just makes me want to cry outright in a "how could that possibly be me" sort of way--something that absolutely does not extend to me taking pictures of myself in feminine attire.

one really leads to the other for me -- if i get misgendered (which is often) this gives me body dysphoria. i feel like i could forget about most things about my body if i was always read/referred to as male

Ok well I just posted a couple days ago.. I'm a week away from my 6 months on hrt and honestly genital dysphoria is the worse! It's awful [emoji17]

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 I don't think there is a worse for me, social and body dysphoria seem to go hand in hand.

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

Before I started my transition, my social dysphoria was worse.  When I was out to friends and family but not full-time, it got way worse.  It ended the day I went full-time.  Like waving a magic wand: *poof* vanished! 

So now, I am aware of my body dysphoria.  It was probably always there, but masked by the social dysphoria.  Now, it is what's left, and it is bugging me.

Hair and genitals.  Hair is a lost cause: I just have to wear wigs.  The genitals, well, I try not to look.  Fortunately, HRT has made tucking relatively easy.  I wish I could wave a magic wand and make them vanish.

A mix of both but more I would say for me it's the body Dysphoria. not to sound arrogant but growing up I was the coolest kid the block. I was a jock before and won competitions in highschool, in college I won male beauty pageant if that's the right term for it then I did live as a gay man after that. Never had problems being social I'm always that guy who throws tough love and never care who would get hurt but for some reason it comes off as the cool vibe that it sounded that I know what I was doing and alot of people want to ask cloths and social advise from me. Transitioning to mtf I have a huge body Dysphoria. I guess my peers and my internal thinking of my current social status. I'm scared I'm going to lose all the that and I'm not going to be seen as that guy who got it together and want everyone to be friends with.