This is for women who consider themselves transsexual, or transitioned women, that is, living fulltime as their target gender, with hrt and/or surgery.

I feel very safe, but I don't go out at night a lot either. I don't go to the bars and I am not actively dating. I am pretty much safe at home.
Sheila

As you know I havent started transition but it worries the hell out of me, I understand that my prospecus is very different to those of you who have been there and done it but is our oppinion not valid.

I worry thast people will beat me up, stab me, break my legs, yes of course I do, that is on of the largest things stoping me, I dont think people in brimingham UK are ready for that yet.

I am starting to meet other TS people in the area and discuss this issue with them, I wonder what they have to say on the matter.

Quote from: Lucy on March 11, 2008, 02:57:54 PM
As you know I havent started transition but it worries the hell out of me, I understand that my prospecus is very different to those of you who have been there and done it but is our oppinion not valid.

I worry thast people will beat me up, stab me, break my legs, yes of course I do, that is on of the largest things stoping me, I dont think people in brimingham UK are ready for that yet.

I am starting to meet other TS people in the area and discuss this issue with them, I wonder what they have to say on the matter.

If you are careful with where you walk around at night and to whom you present yourself as trans, then you'll be ok. No fears.

I used to worry about it more.  And that's when I was young and pretty!

I suppose that I worry more about it for all of us for we are a minority. It's a tragedy that there is so much violence propagated against us.  I believe that we can reduce this by continuing to push for equal rights and protections with hate crimes bills.  Keeping it in the public eye will eventually raise understanding and sympathy in our society.

I firmly believe that people learn to cope when they see these things on a continuous basis.  Twenty years ago, gays were the abomination.  Now they have relative peace in most places. Good for them... and all the rest of us who face discrimination.

Cindi

Quote from: Cindi Jones on March 11, 2008, 03:09:28 PM
I used to worry about it more.  And that's when I was young and pretty!

I suppose that I worry more about it for all of us for we are a minority. It's a tragedy that there is so much violence propagated against us.  I believe that we can reduce this by continuing to push for equal rights and protections with hate crimes bills.  Keeping it in the public eye will eventually raise understanding and sympathy in our society.

I firmly believe that people learn to cope when they see these things on a continuous basis.  Twenty years ago, gays were the abomination.  Now they have relative peace in most places. Good for them... and all the rest of us who face discrimination.

Cindi

I will admit that I am a little concerned, but this is all part of the gig.  That doesn't mean that it's right, but this is where we are at present.

I want to echo Cindi's thoughts.  That is why I am going to Albany as part of the LGBT lobby day.  A girlfriend of mine once told me that we can truly sympathise what people of color experience every day, because we face similar discrimination every day.  That was a pivotal moment of understanding for me.  That was when this conservative girl started to become a liberal activist.

Chaunte

I haven't yet started transitioning, so I don't think I'm to vote in this topic, but yes, hate crimes are my biggest fear about it.

I don't worry about it. TBH, I worry about violence against women a whole lot more.

I have to admit I was pretty concerned when I began transition -- that gawky-stage, ya know?  The one where you pass as male through pass as goodness-knows-what?

I think those are dangerous times for any of us and we'd be well-advised to figure out as best we can where we are safe, at least tolerated, and where we are least likely to be attacked.

Of course, there are people who never quite make it out of that phase without surgeries anyhow, even with FFS.

I have to agree with Cindi and Chaunte that the mo' better education society has about us and the more protections we can secure the safer we will all be, not simply the 'passers' or the one's who've finished either type of SRS.

BTW, Chaunte, welcome out of the 'conservative chick' realm!! 

Nichole

Quote from: Chaunte on March 15, 2008, 08:45:49 AM

That was when this conservative girl started to become a liberal activist.

Chaunte

Yay!

Quote from: Nichole on March 15, 2008, 10:25:05 AM
I have to admit I was pretty concerned when I began transition -- that gawky-stage, ya know?  The one where you pass as male through pass as goodness-knows-what?

I've been REALLY re-evaluatings things these last few days, wondering if I really don't pass at all... but instead just look reasonable enough that people are willing to just go along with it, even though they "know." I dunno... the smiles and friendliness could as much be pity and compassion as passing.

But in any case, my *experience* has been that no one cares. There have been instances where I HAD to tell someone anyway, and... they've never cared.

I don't go to bars or clubbing, and men don't seem to feel any attraction to me, soooooo... it's not like I'm going to push any homophobic buttons with them.

I'm not activistic or associated with the community as a political group, so I'm not antagonizing anyone there...

So nah, overall I don't think about it.

~Kate~

I put "I don't worry about it" but I want to clarify, I don't worry about being attacked for being trans. I AM concious of my vulnerability as a woman and worry about assaults on that basis.

Karen Lyn

Quote from: Kate on March 15, 2008, 11:37:33 AM

I've been REALLY re-evaluatings things these last few days, wondering if I really don't pass at all... but instead just look reasonable enough that people are willing to just go along with it, even though they "know." I dunno... the smiles and friendliness could as much be pity and compassion as passing.

But in any case, my *experience* has been that no one cares. There have been instances where I HAD to tell someone anyway, and... they've never cared.

I don't go to bars or clubbing, and men don't seem to feel any attraction to me, soooooo... it's not like I'm going to push any homophobic buttons with them.

~Kate~

Hey Kate,
Well if you're the one in the picture I'd say you look pretty good. Even if it's not your picture, rest assured men are looking. Maybe you are assuming they are not and that's why you don't see it, but they are (they can't help it)
I had the same period where I used to think I was just not-male enough that people were just regarding me as harmless rather than female. The test is in the women's restroom really, even if you look harmless but not female enough some women will object to your presence there. I've never had a problem in a restroom but still to this day I find it difficult to believe that I pass, though I'm told I do.
Chin up

Quote from: Kate on March 15, 2008, 11:37:33 AM

Quote from: Nichole on March 15, 2008, 10:25:05 AM
I have to admit I was pretty concerned when I began transition -- that gawky-stage, ya know?  The one where you pass as male through pass as goodness-knows-what?

I've been REALLY re-evaluatings things these last few days, wondering if I really don't pass at all... but instead just look reasonable enough that people are willing to just go along with it, even though they "know." I dunno... the smiles and friendliness could as much be pity and compassion as passing.

But in any case, my *experience* has been that no one cares. There have been instances where I HAD to tell someone anyway, and... they've never cared.

I don't go to bars or clubbing, and men don't seem to feel any attraction to me, soooooo... it's not like I'm going to push any homophobic buttons with them.

I'm not activistic or associated with the community as a political group, so I'm not antagonizing anyone there...

So nah, overall I don't think about it.

~Kate~

Now, this doesn't mean that you don't any longer believe me when I tell you that you do 'pass,' right? Wouldn't lie to you, sweetie. You do.

My personal thought is that all of this introspection and doubt sounds to me like a perfectly normal reaction to the impending SRS. It happens a lot.

Your concern needn't be whether or not people 'see' you as a TS. I'm afraid you are past that point, Kate.

You have been in the "worry about safety as a woman" phase, or should have been, for some time now.

Nichole

Quote from: Nichole on March 15, 2008, 12:59:48 PM

I'm afraid you are past that point, Kate.

You have been in the "worry about safety as a woman" phase, or should have been, for some time now.

Nichole

This is why I posted two separate polls.  There was a time ago, that I worried about my safety as a TS, but now, I'm waay past that point.  I can't go out in a plain grey tee shirt, no makeup, and a ball cap and be called sir, mister, whatever. 

Kate, I couldn't wait to be called Miss.  Now that I am only called by female pronouns, I accept it, and embrace it.  I haven't seen a recent pic, but from your posts, Kate, it's past time to embrace the fact.  You're a girl, like it or not.  Now that you're a girl, don't put yourself in danger.........

Posted on: March 15, 2008, 04:30:53 PM

---

Some of the responses are from people that let the possibility of hate crimes keep them from transitioning. 

Not a blanket statement, but when it was time, there was nothing I could do to stop the compulsion to transition.  No hazard, health or otherwise, no danger, etc.



Bev

I worry too much about it.  It isn't a matter of passing.  I pass well.  My fright's about what peeps would do if they discover that a passable woman is transsexual. I'm from Bulgaria and society isn't the same here as in America. I don't date.  I'm still pre-op.  I don't want to end up being killed or beaten up for being me.

Quote from: Valentina on March 15, 2008, 08:39:09 PM
I worry too much about it.  It isn't a matter of passing.  I pass well.  My fright's about what peeps would do if they discover that a passable woman is transsexual. I'm from Bulgaria and society isn't the same here as in America. I don't date.  I'm still pre-op.  I don't want to end up being killed or beaten up for being me.

To a great extent, Valentina, I think Bulgarien sounds a lot like USA.

Nichole