Had an interesting experience at my new job. I told my boss that I'd need to take a day off every few months for a hospital appointment and that I'd also be late in a couple of days every 3 months due to a nurse appointment and a blood test. I kept it deliberately vague as I wasn't ready to let them know that I'm trans yet (still presenting male 100% of the time until the HRT works its magic and I start getting male-fail).

My boss is also new to the company so he didn't know what the procedure would be in this case so he went and asked the HR department and I was called in for a little chat to sort things out. The HR lady is very nice and explained that it wouldn't be a problem but that I'd have to show my boss the letter for the hospital appointments just to show that I wasn't trying to cheat the company out of an extra day off. I asked her if it would be acceptable for me to just show the letter to HR instead of my boss as it was quite personal (it's my GIC appointments). She asked me if I'd like to have a chat without my boss present and I said yes, so he left. 

Well, basically I ended up coming out to HR a whole lot sooner than I'd planned, but it went really well. I told her that I only statrted HRT a couple of months ago and that any changes would take a while so for the time being no-one would be anythe wiser. She was really nice about it and said that the owners of the company arevery big on equality and that I'll get all the support I need when the time comes. Apparently I'm not the first person to transition on the job in the history of the company, which is nice to know.

Also, apparently a couple of months before I started the owners had started making plans for a transgender speaker to come in and do a presentation to educate the staff on trans issues so I gave the HR lady the details of an FTM friend of mine who does public speaking on this very subject so hopefully he'll get some work out of the deal.

TL;DR - Came out to HR department and it went way better than I expected.

@ Shiratori:  Well, this is certainly very good news for you and encouraging news for others at their job situation...  keep us updated about how things are going at your job as your transition continues.
Danielle

Great, glad they're supportive of you. It's a big step, happy it went well, as it should!

I've previously arranged to have Emma Cusdin from Trans*formationUK come into my company to talk about gender and trans* stuff,  she's great! I've also done presentations myself both internally and externally on the subject. X

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That's tacky that they don't trust their employees. What's next? Death certificate if you take bereavement leave? Unless it's fmla, you shouldn't have to show them anything.


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Quote from: Gertrude on March 24, 2018, 05:22:03 PM
That's tacky that they don't trust their employees. What's next? Death certificate if you take bereavement leave? Unless it's fmla, you shouldn't have to show them anything.


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I'd imagine it's because they've had employees abusing the system in the past and taking days off for non-existent hospital appointments to avoid using their annual leave.

Quote from: Shiratori on March 25, 2018, 02:33:31 AM
I'd imagine it's because they've had employees abusing the system in the past and taking days off for non-existent hospital appointments to avoid using their annual leave.

Then hire better people. Preemptive distrust is a bad thing and treats people like children, badly.


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Work had a very open sick leave policy and I normally took about one day a year for doctors appointments. Unfortunately one of our sales men started taking every friday off making 3 day weekends out of them. The policy was then change to between 2 and 4 weeks (depending on seniority) off a year. This was vacation time, sick leave or whatever you wanted it for. That caused me to lose time off because before the policy change, I had 4 weeks of vacation time a year plus sick leave. After that, I had 4 weeks no matter what. I'm still a little mad about that sales guy.

Quote from: Dena on March 25, 2018, 12:27:13 PM
Work had a very open sick leave policy and I normally took about one day a year for doctors appointments. Unfortunately one of our sales men started taking every friday off making 3 day weekends out of them. The policy was then change to between 2 and 4 weeks (depending on seniority) off a year. This was vacation time, sick leave or whatever you wanted it for. That caused me to lose time off because before the policy change, I had 4 weeks of vacation time a year plus sick leave. After that, I had 4 weeks no matter what. I'm still a little mad about that sales guy.

All it takes is one bad apple. I worked for a family owned company at one time and the owners were Jewish . We would get the Jewish holidays off. Someone bitched that why did we get the Jewish holidays off and not MLK. The result was a floating holiday.  If you're Jewish, take the Jewish holidays, if you're African American, take MLK. I am neither, so I lost two days.


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That is great! Where I work at now I will have enough pto saved I can take the time off I need until I am ready to come out! Before that happens I should have a different job at another company in HR. I hope.

Quote from: Dena on March 25, 2018, 12:27:13 PM
Work had a very open sick leave policy and I normally took about one day a year for doctors appointments. Unfortunately one of our sales men started taking every friday off making 3 day weekends out of them. The policy was then change to between 2 and 4 weeks (depending on seniority) off a year. This was vacation time, sick leave or whatever you wanted it for. That caused me to lose time off because before the policy change, I had 4 weeks of vacation time a year plus sick leave. After that, I had 4 weeks no matter what. I'm still a little mad about that sales guy.

Dena: What is this you speak of?  sick leave, vacation time, etc.....   
... being Self-Employed like I am has it benefits for sure but this stuff like sick leave, paid vacation time, overtime pay, company pension plan, etc is not included.... and I am fine with that because I am in more control of my own destiny... good or bad.
Danielle

Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on March 27, 2018, 05:20:21 PM
Dena: What is this you speak of?  sick leave, vacation time, etc.....   
... being Self-Employed like I am has it benefits for sure but this stuff like sick leave, paid vacation time, overtime pay, company pension plan, etc is not included.... and I am fine with that because I am in more control of my own destiny... good or bad.
Danielle

I've been there. Sometimes I wish I still was,  but at 56, if I work another 6 years where I am, I can retire and get some pension. If it wasn't for that and the tuition break for my kids, I'd  be doing something else.


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Quote from: Gertrude on March 27, 2018, 06:31:29 PM
I've been there. Sometimes I wish I still was,  but at 56, if I work another 6 years where I am, I can retire and get some pension. If it wasn't for that and the tuition break for my kids, I'd  be doing something else.

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Gertrude:  Well, the Tuition Break for your kids is a big benefit for sure.... and retiring when you are 62 is a wonderful thing... many folks can not ever retire comfortably, so your pension will be a nice addition to Social Security... and frankly, if you run the numbers (I have run the numbers many times for my clients), retiring early at 62 makes more financial sense for many folks than waiting until 66 or later.  But that is a personal decision based on a lot of factors.

You know then, if one is self-employed that a self-provided pension and/or retirement savings plan is an absolute must.  Social Security from the government is not enough to live on comfortably.  I have been contributing more to my own retirement savings than the company I worked for ever did. 
At the rate that I am providing my own "retirement and pension" I will be more than comfortable retiring long before I could at any company I worked for.   
I am a workaholic about my business, much longer work hours than I ever did before but I enjoy setting my own schedule and enjoy the work and enjoy the clients that I have developed.... and it is will well worth the hard work.   
Plus, I have an incentive to work harder because my financial outcome is entirely in my hands barring some unforeseen economic event which would affect all of us.

All of this, of course, requires self-discipline, budgeting, business common sense, and determination to provide for myself.

Thanks for your post...and hang on for another 6 years!!!!!
Best Wishes,
Danielle

Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on March 28, 2018, 05:58:08 PM
Gertrude:  Well, the Tuition Break for your kids is a big benefit for sure.... and retiring when you are 62 is a wonderful thing... many folks can not ever retire comfortably, so your pension will be a nice addition to Social Security... and frankly, if you run the numbers (I have run the numbers many times for my clients), retiring early at 62 makes more financial sense for many folks than waiting until 66 or later.  But that is a personal decision based on a lot of factors.

You know then, if one is self-employed that a self-provided pension and/or retirement savings plan is an absolute must.  Social Security from the government is not enough to live on comfortably.  I have been contributing more to my own retirement savings than the company I worked for ever did. 
At the rate that I am providing my own "retirement and pension" I will be more than comfortable retiring long before I could at any company I worked for.   
I am a workaholic about my business, much longer work hours than I ever did before but I enjoy setting my own schedule and enjoy the work and enjoy the clients that I have developed.... and it is will well worth the hard work.   
Plus, I have an incentive to work harder because my financial outcome is entirely in my hands barring some unforeseen economic event which would affect all of us.

All of this, of course, requires self-discipline, budgeting, business common sense, and determination to provide for myself.

Thanks for your post...and hang on for another 6 years!!!!!
Best Wishes,
Danielle

My mom was self employed and worked until 70, when she promptly got terminally ill. Dad retired at 62 after working at the same job for 39 years. Up until I was about 50, I thought I would work until 70. Then something just snapped. I had enough. If I could stop working now I would. My wife is 5 years younger and makes just about 3x what I do with her bonus. My job is basically to put into SS, get the tuition break and the small pension. I don't get much else out of it. I have to wonder How many people are under employed in terms of utilizing their skills, knowledge and even potential? Most employers don't give a crap as you're hired to do one thing and that's that. The thing is, not everyone has the entrepreneurial spirit or mindset to go it alone. It's the one place in society where we really waste a lot of talent and possibilities in that people don't end up where productivity meets utilizing talent, abilities and knowledge.

Shiratori,

Well that is one thing you don't have that to worry about in the future.    Also you are lucky, the company sounds like it is very lgbt friendly.

I haven't come out much yet so those fun situations are waiting for me.

Julie