I'm curious. This is for you guys who have stopped T for whatever reason either entirely or continued after a while. What were your reasons behind that?

How long had you been on it before stopping?

Did you get negative effects you didn't like? Or were the changes too much at the time?

Why did you get back on it again?

What are your thoughts now on stopping it? Was it a good decision? A necessary one? Are you now comfortable being on T?

Pre-T, but I don't plan on being on it forever for a number of personal reasons. My biggest reason? I really don't want to go bald lol.

I'm lucky in that my body is already pretty masculinized, so throw in a 5-o'clock shadow and a deeper voice and I will probably pass easily. Passing is a bigger concern for me than bodily/hormonal dysphoria, so once I've gotten the desired permanent changes after a few years, I don't expect to mind dialing back.

Cancer issues used to be another motivating factor as I don't want an oopho, but I've read some stuff recently saying that the link to long-term FtM hormone therapy to pelvic cancers doesn't seem to be causative, so that's a relief at least.

Quote from: BT04 on March 28, 2018, 08:38:50 PM
My biggest reason? I really don't want to go bald lol.

For real  ?! Damn! Me neither!!!

Quote from: BT04 on March 28, 2018, 08:38:50 PM
I'm lucky in that my body is already pretty masculinized, so throw in a 5-o'clock shadow and a deeper voice and I will probably pass easily. Passing is a bigger concern for me than bodily/hormonal dysphoria, so once I've gotten the desired permanent changes after a few years, I don't expect to mind dialing back.

Yeah, that's probably true. Unfortunately I do have a very female looking body so... I'm pretty sure T is needed through the rest of my life to keep that form  !

Quote from: BT04 on March 28, 2018, 08:38:50 PM
Cancer issues used to be another motivating factor as I don't want an oopho, but I've read some stuff recently saying that the link to long-term FtM hormone therapy to pelvic cancers doesn't seem to be causative, so that's a relief at least.

Yeah, I think that too. Bunch of BS...! Like they always want to remove 'extra' organs from intersex people, like a testicle from your stomach, because they supposedly cause cancer. Though no one's actually done a research on it so....! After all the female body does produce testosterone on its own too. Unless someone actually does a respectable study on it, I wouldn't be too concerned!!!

Quote from: BT04 on March 28, 2018, 08:38:50 PM
Pre-T, but I don't plan on being on it forever for a number of personal reasons. My biggest reason? I really don't want to go bald lol.

same ^

the only thing i really want from T is for my voice to drop, so once that happens i'll probably go off it (to save my hair) and take whatever body hair and downstairs growth i get as a bonus

i don't want facial hair either so i'm hoping mine will come in slowly

i'm also considering giving up on T because of the gel shortage in the UK. I can't handle injections haha

I'm curious. This is for you guys who have stopped T for whatever reason either entirely or continued after a while. What were your reasons behind that?
- I did stop taking T for some time before I started taking it again. I reluctantly chose to stop, for concern of both my physical and mental health. I took T the self-medding way back then and couldn't check my levels, and just going by a hunch and vague symptoms really isn't enough by far. I did not feel good cause it was very obvious that my hormone levels were very wonky, which caused all sorts of issues. And also I kept going in and out of psych wards where I wasn't allowed to self-med (no wonder why, though) which messed up my levels even more to go on and off it so frequently. Like I'd be on it for like 2 months, then off it for 2-3 weeks, and on and off like that. So eventually, I just had enough and decided to try to survive waiting for the doctor's approved testo instead. I did still want and need to take some form of T but couldn't do it safely on my own, so therefore I stopped reluctactly.

How long had you been on it before stopping?
- A year, but more exactly 13 months, if I don't count the frequent on- and off'ing during that time. Started at August 2nd 2010 and stopped at August 30th 2011.

Did you get negative effects you didn't like? Or were the changes too much at the time?
- I really liked almost all of my physical changes from T and thought they couldn't come too fast, except from the increased acne but it was just a minor nuissance. However due to how unstable my hormone levels were, it really messed with my mood and I had very intense highs and lows that switched very rapidly, etc. And physically my period kept coming and going, and I got very intense hot flashes (meaning getting suddenly extremely over-heated for no apparent reason, usually lasts a minute or two per time) almost constantly. That mess was one of the reasons I chose to stop.

Why did you get back on it again?
- Because it was finally offered to me in a healthy way! I had waited and been off T for 2 years by then and hated every second of it. So I re-started taking T on August 19th 2013. It was such a relief to get it prescribed to me, and I knew I'd hold on to it forever and I'd never freely go of it again. Now my mood is a lot more stable ever since and my levels are too. I did get very suicidal just before I was granted an appointment with endo for getting T, cause I felt like I couldn't live anymore without it at that point. So finally getting it pretty much literally saved my life. It was certainly a bit strange that I hadn't gotten T for the 4 years I had waited for it since the start of my transition, but then 2 days after I said a prayer to my god of choice, I got an appointment with endo for starting T. I don't know, but it seems just a little too strange to consider it a coincidence, but then I also don't want to shove my beliefs down anyone's throat. I'm not suicidal anymore, btw.

What are your thoughts now on stopping it? Was it a good decision? A necessary one? Are you now comfortable being on T?
- I wish I didn't have to pause my hrt back when I did, but I think it was probably for the best, so yeah I'd say it was a good, or at least a wise, decision. And yeah, necessary too, or at least I think so.
Although then I more so just wish I never had to self-med with T to begin with. But at least I can comfort myself with knowing that it was legit stuff I used to self-med with, and not some sketchy drug. Could have been a lot worse then, I mean. I don't promote self-medding with hrt cause it is risky, but I'm also never gonna stop anyone else from doing it if it's necessary for them. Cause I know what that kind of hopelessness feels like.
I'm very comfortable being back on T now. It's a blessing and a need fulfilled, for me. At this point where I've gotten pretty much all of my physical changes, at almost 6 years on T all in all, the main reason I'm still taking it is for the psychological changes which I need to stay stable and not hate my own personality. And then of course also for maintaining/keeping the physical changes that could or would revert back if I'd stop again. Like fat distribution, for example. And I intend to keep taking T until I die of old age or alzeimer or whatever catches me first!

Frankly the thought of not being able to get T in future is going to be a constant potential nightmare in the back of my mind, if it ends up in shortage or banned or too expensive or whatever.

Mainly because of the (serious) psychological effects, but the physical effects are going to be grim as well. I've seen what my body reacts like to a massive drop in hormones before. Last time I got hypothyroid from quitting E and that was the least of my issues. The anxiety level was almost like being insane. It made me do some pretty strange things. Things I would never do at the moment on a stable dose of T.

Guess I'd better hope nothing happens to the supply ever

Quote from: PurpleWolf on March 26, 2018, 01:43:20 PMHow long had you been on it before stopping?

Did you get negative effects you didn't like? Or were the changes too much at the time?

Why did you get back on it again?

What are your thoughts now on stopping it? Was it a good decision? A necessary one? Are you now comfortable being on T?

My position is probably not what you're thinking about at all but I figure I'll throw my 2 cents out anyways.

I've never known whether or not to be on T forever or if I'd like to stop, but this proved to me that I'm a person who does need it.

I stopped T for roughly 2 months because of insurance. I was just about 3 years on T.
I stopped because my insurance had a blanket exclusion and while I self-paid, I was on injections because it was all I could afford. They removed the exclusion and I went to my doctor to get it approved through insurance. I was told that because of my needle phobia, it would be fine for me to simply stop until I got my new prescription. I was told that I could also just go pick up my old prescription again if I  needed to. Well it took my doctor nearly a month to submit the request despite my constant nagging, then it took insurance weeks to actually let me know a decision. Insurance never actually informed me, my doctor did, and insurance claimed they send the denial three times. I never got it. I couldn't appeal it because I couldn't get the information that I needed. I didn't want to go pick up my injections because I was struggling to pay for top surgery and I felt like picking up my prescription would be like giving in to my insurance company's desire to not pay.

Nearing the 2 month mark I was getting incredibly emotional all the time, and my nether regions started to smell like period to me. I felt like I was in a 2 week state of PMS and that was when I had a breakdown and just paid for my injections out of pocket again. Periods were one of the worst things  before and I couldn't handle feeling like one was about to come. This was also amidst my top surgery recovery and I was just in a hugely stressful position in my life even without the T disaster. I have never felt so distressed about my body as I did realising it smelled like it did pre-T and thinking a period was coming. It made me realise that at the very least, I can't be in an estrogen-dominant body.

I can't say I'm glad to have been off of T. But in a way, it did clarify my feelings towards hormones and confirmed something I only suspected about myself. It's nice to know now with 100% certainty that Estrogen isn't for me and I have no issue with eventually removing those parts.

((As a side note, once my life calmed down, I was able to resubmit for T, get ANOTHER denial, and appeal it, which was approved, so I'm now happily on Androgel))

Quote from: CursedFireDean on April 18, 2018, 05:39:31 PM
I have never felt so distressed about my body as I did realising it smelled like it did pre-T and thinking a period was coming. It made me realise that at the very least, I can't be in an estrogen-dominant body.

I can't say I'm glad to have been off of T. But in a way, it did clarify my feelings towards hormones and confirmed something I only suspected about myself. It's nice to know now with 100% certainty that Estrogen isn't for me and I have no issue with eventually removing those parts.

Thanks so much for your reply!
That's very interesting that having had to go through that mess you gained some insight on things! At least you now have 'tried' to be off of it and know how that makes you feel...!

I'm pre-everything so I'm only expecting to feel great with T and the changes... And slowly but surely getting rid of my fears regarding it. (I had many.) Now it's like... I know I need it - but still having to use it etc. etc. makes me a bit uneasy. I've never tried it you know! But that's why I'm expecting to feel better on T - at least I've def tried the feeling of not being on it!!! And that's not working! It's hugely unlikely T would make me feel worse... !

I have never felt as calm and content in my life as I have on T. It beats any drug hands down since there's no real negative side effects.

I'm starting to get acclimated to it though and the awareness/memory of how much better it is compared to before is fading. It's become the new norm/reality. Eventually I will forget what it was like to be at the mercy of estrogen I suppose. I've no worries about that, just about the supply of T always being available and affordable. The idea of going back to where I was before if there is any choice about it is totally off the table. I can see what kind of person I was before and it wasn't good.