The Mountain Goats as a band really help me through anything. Same with Motion City Soundtrack.
As for gender-specific music [or at least music I relate to that] hm....the band Schemkel [all trans, all jewish] is good. I also like the Spook School [singer ids as third-gender, and the song "Binary" is really good]. And I like listening to Queen, knowing Freddie Mercury was bisexual like me.