Hi all,
Today was the day I chose to step out into the world as the person I feel on the inside (on transgender day of visibility no less! I swear I didn't plan it!). If you've seen my other threads you might know I visit a crossdressing salon in Tokyo occasionally. Well, after some make-up and a quick talk on avoiding direct eye contact and how to hold my bag correctly, it was out the door.
I was definitely a little nervous, but after a few dozen steps the nerves just fell away, and I focused my attention on my walking, elbow placement and other little details. We walked for around 8 or 10 minutes before coming to the little park with some cherry blossom trees.
The entire walk no-one so much as glanced at me. Admittedly the two girls accompanying me did a great job taking the focus off me, but still I was amazed that no-one even looked at me, never mind stared at me. Eventually we got to the park. The place the girls usually use for photo-shoots was occupied by a hanami party. Quick culture fact: In Japan, when cherry blossom trees bloom, people like to have hanami parties which lit. means 'flower viewing' often spreading tarpaulins under them and drinking lots of alcohol with co-workers, friends and family. So rather than tucked away from everyone, we did a little photo shoot along the street next to the park. People were walking along constantly and the path was very narrow so we were having to dart in and out to take some snaps.
After 20 or so mins taking pictures we went to move on elsewhere. And that's when it happened. This guy who looked to be in his late 30's runs up to us from the direction of the park. "Oi, oi , oi, oi!" he shouted. At first I thought he was asking for directions but I couldn't quite catch what he was saying. Then it dawned on me. He was drunk. I had a lump in my throat as he began very loudly talking and gesticulating to us. He was certainly drawn to me as a couple of times he pointed at me and his gaze was drifting back to me between talking to my two impromptu bodyguards. After something was said about work we managed to say goodbye and he reached out to shake my hand. I held my hand out and gave a dainty handshake that a woman would and did a half-bow, half-courtesy. When I failed to follow up with an obligatory 'Thank you' he looked at me curiously and said 'Oh! Do you have a cold?" I smiled, pointed at my throat and did a 'No' gesture. "I see, such a shame" he replied. We then did some more bowing and walked away.
I was more confused about the situation that had just happened than anything so I asked the 2 girls what he had wanted. Apparently he must have seen us taking photos earlier and had been eying us. When it looked like we were about to leave he rushed over from his hanami party. He wanted the 3 of us ladies to come and join him for some drinks! It's not uncommon for Japanese people to invite random people into their drinking circle, especially men who are after some female company and even more so if that person is a foreigner! He'd thought he'd managed to bag 3 beautiful ladies, one of which was a foreigner! So, yea. As far as 'Do I pass' goes, I think that's as big as an affirmation as I'm ever going to get!
We walked some more and took plenty of photos along the way. At one point we crossed a bridge and had some photos on top, again dodging in and out of people going about their daily business.
We had been out for almost an hour and the sun was starting to set, so time for one last photo.
As we walked back I began thinking about my brief encounter with the outside world. It wasn't all that scary. It wasn't all that exciting either. It was just nice to walk around, being me. Feeling the wind blowing along the hem of my skirt, listening to the clip-clop of my shoes. It was all so... perfect. My entourage commented that my voice had changed dramatically, as had my gestures and gait, all of which I hadn't really been aware of at the time. The more I ease myself into this, more of the real me is beginning to shine through
Today was such a beautiful, happy day.
