Quote from: Maddie86 on March 31, 2018, 05:53:56 AM
what's the best material to start with? One reason I've held off so long is because I have a bad allergy to nickel, and I know it's in a lot of cheap jewelry 

I've been ok with surgical steel or titanium. Most places on this side of the pond have either on offer, that's piercing studios mind rather than shops in malls.

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Quote from: MollyPants on March 31, 2018, 06:12:39 AM
I've been ok with surgical steel or titanium. Most places on this side of the pond have either on offer, that's piercing studios mind rather than shops in malls.

Those work. I ended up with white gold (with my birthstone - ruby) for my starters. Wasn't planning on spending that much, but I figured why not? They were around $70 at Claire's.

Quote from: Maddie86 on March 31, 2018, 05:53:56 AM
what's the best material to start with? One reason I've held off so long is because I have a bad allergy to nickel, and I know it's in a lot of cheap jewelry 

Gold is alloyed so some gold might work if it's Hypo-allergenic. Gold is non reactive but it's so soft that it needs another metal for strength. That's why some gold will turn your skin green while other gold can be used in dental work.  If you can find it, the other metal would be titanium as it can't be alloyed and it is used to construct artificial joints used for Knee replacements.

I mostly, if not all of the time, go with GOLD, especially for more simple earrings like studs that I tend to wear longer than the danglie earbobs that I may only wear for a night out or special occasions.

I many times have problems with the cheaper jewelry because of the more reactive metals used.   If I can't justify solid gold for some earrings that I want, gold plated will work almost as well.  This not only goes for earrings, but also necklaces and bracelets.......   I am not a cheap date!!!!
Danielle

Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on March 31, 2018, 10:27:49 AM
I mostly, if not all of the time, go with GOLD, especially for more simple earrings like studs that I tend to wear longer than the danglie earbobs that I may only wear for a night out or special occasions.

I many times have problems with the cheaper jewelry because of the more reactive metals used.   If I can't justify solid gold for some earrings that I want, gold plated will work almost as well.  This not only goes for earrings, but also necklaces and bracelets.......   I am not a cheap date!!!!
Danielle

Frugal dear, "I am not a frugal date".  Don't want people to think they have to "pay".

Quote from: Cassi on March 31, 2018, 04:38:48 PM
Frugal dear, "I am not a frugal date".  Don't want people to think they have to "pay".

Cassi:  you are quite correct, I stand corrected....
...although when my Male Suitor #1 took me out to dinner (twice now) he insisted on paying for dinner!!!
Danielle

I went with stainless to start with stones set in a flower pattern (I really like flowers). So far so good no issues after 3 days.

I started with some white gold studs.  Nothing flashy since I wasn't out at work yet.  Only one person and about them and I just told him I had been planning on piercing them for a while.  He just said, "right on." Seriously most people won't even notice and there are plenty of guys who have pierced ears.  You'll be fine dearie.

Well, I came out to another friend yesterday.  We became friends when I moved and was living in Texas.  It was on Facebook and I plan to delete the old page once I start going full time.  Anyway, she was surprised and was okay with it.  I was surprised that she even became more open and friendlier with me after telling her. 

Oh, one of these days the nose will be pierced.  Not sure if there's any significance to which side though.  And, winter's gone, spring's here meaning lighter clothes and eventually more to show

Occasionally I try to look up an old friend of mine who was my best/only friend as a teenager. Haven't spoken with him in... probably 10-12 years? And haven't seen in person for about 16. Just lost track due to him moving around a lot. His family, who mine was pretty close with (his mom and my mom were really good friends as well), sort of fell off the face of the earth. So today I got bored and thought about it and did a search. Well, turns out this time I got something. A street address, and its back in my area. (About 30 minutes out.) Well, for a number of reasons I would rather have a phone number than just show up at his house, that's just weird, so not sure what to do with that. On top of that, there seems to be a living arrangement that confuses me a bit. The site I found it on lists everything, including square footage and current residents. So apparently, there are 5 people living in a 1400 square foot house: My friend, my friend's parents (glad to find them too), a random guy in his 40s, and a random woman in her 50s. So I answered one question and just have so, so many more.

Anywho, not sure how to approach the situation or if I should even do anything. I'd like to reach out, but at the same time I worry I just don't have the time or energy to deal with trying to rekindle a friendship right now. I don't worry so much about coming out to him (my immediate assumption was the 40 something guy is his partner, but even if that's not the case I'm aware of some stuff with his family that would make me not worry about it too much), but I do still hate the idea of interacting with people like I am, particularly if my goal is to shatter previously held conceptions it will be easier doing that jumping straight from the last image he'd have of me from my late teens before balding and all that nasty stuff took hold.

Ellie: I take it that you do not have or can not get your friend's phone number so you can just make arrangements to meet over coffee or a lunch at a restaurant.   
Based on what your research revealed I am just about certain that I would not drop by to the house to visit.

Keep us posted!
Hugs,
Danielle

I am going to give caution and well.  Why not leave a note with your email?  Conversing from a distance seems so much safer, at least initially.  Good luck and I hope you post your adventure here as it unfolds.

Bari Jo

Sometimes addresses have previous residents come up still in the searches online. I don't think they're very accurate.
I wonder why did you look up this particular friend?
I know there was this guy, who we'll call Matt, who would call me a couple nights a week. He would ask me about the homework assigned and then we'd talk for an hour or so about other things. I always thought he just made the homework excuse because he wanted to talk on the phone. I had a crush on Matt but never told him lol.. I think I would if we ever meet again but I can't find any info on him.. it's almost like he never existed [emoji23]

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Nah, nothing ulterior romantic wise or what not. Just always really regretted losing touch with him since we were pretty much each other's only friend for all of teenage years until I moved with my mom, letting my anxiety and depression get the better of me. And yeah, definitely not just dropping by house, just thought it was funny I could find an address and not a phone number. I have a really, really old number for his mom's cellphone dating back to the 90s which, knowing cellphones, could very well be her number still. I know it was through early 2000s at least. But I am really terrible on phone, like honest to god phobic. (Telephobic, totally a thing! )

Mostly I'm in a nostalgic mood because another friend from when I was even younger added me on Facebook (which I never use) after, by shear coincidence, my little sister babysat for his kids while he was visiting his mom who still lives in the area. Not sure how to approach that at all either. Their mom was always hyper religious, and I mean hyper religious, and not sure where the kids landed on that. (Literally when I was like 12 I liked to play around just making characters in AD&D and Shadowrun because I have no idea why, didn't even really play the games, and so did a few of my friends. Took some of the stuff to his house one time and his mom saw them, and did the "that's the devil's game" spiel. Politely, but still.) Also still a little bitter about some dumb childhood crap I won't get into. Suffice to say though, not sure I want to even begin to go down that rabbit hole right now but in the meanwhile he gave my sister his number to give to me and tried to friend me, so I have to do something. Plus, he's married with 4 kids and I'm still me with my 18 years of arrested development courtesy of a certain unaddressed issue. That unsettles me on so many levels more than almost anything.

Quote from: Roll on April 02, 2018, 11:39:52 PM
Plus, he's married with 4 kids and I'm still me with my 18 years of arrested development courtesy of a certain unaddressed issue. That unsettles me on so many levels more than almost anything.

Ellie, some brief sound advice here:
I think that sounds great that the other friend is reaching out to you - and you were able to find the other one's address  . I'd say: Just go for it!!! Doesn't the address one have fb or...? Can't you find him on social media? What do you really have to lose? Just meeting them or chatting with them doesn't have to mean you'll become the best of friends again, as adults. It could still be fun and worth it!!! And there's always the chance that you do get along, after this long time!

Try to figure out some idea how to make contact. Texting, emailing, social media.... etc. Meeting up maybe after you've chatted a bit and felt around. It's really not that big of a deal. You can just state that you're transgender and that's what's going on in your life right now. You can also say that no, you're not married or do not have kids. As simple as that! At least you have a cellphone plus can drive a car now,  ! Just say you're studying atm etc. You don't have to be very specific. If they are glad to hear from you, they'll accept you. If it doesn't work out and you don't get along, you've lost nothing.

Just saying don't be too scared of explaining your situation and everything. People really don't care that much! If you've been wondering what has been going on with their lives, consider the possibility that they might have had the same thoughts about you...! Where did she disappear?! She used to be a good friend...! etc. They are either glad to hear from you (very possible - even if that doesn't lead to a deep friendship atm), or then you'll just exchange a few things and that's that. Either way, you have absolutely nothing to lose!!! And everything to gain. Worth giving it a shot, I thinks.

Remember you don't have to give specific details about your situation and your life. Plus you can't be sure how's their life been either...! Everyone has problems, remember, no one just knows about it. Anyway you need irl friends so that's great news! This is the start for you. You also might be able to get to know new people via them. Be direct and honest. Everyone appreciates that. But you don't have to give any specifics you're not comfortable with! Approach this like a totally new friendship/acquaintance. Even if they ask you some direct question, remember you never have to answer anything if you don't feel comfortable. You have the right to decide what to tell them about you and your life. Then just say you're not comfortable discussing that. They'll understand.

And most importantly - remember they are not there to judge you!!! If they want to befriend you again, they want to rekindle that relatioship because they used to like you as a person. Not because what's your life like or anything!

So the friend reaching out me... Well, spoke with him for an hour today, was great catching up. He actually offered me a job! But is apparently quite religious. SO THIS IS GONNA BE SUPER AWKWARD!

Quote from: Roll on April 05, 2018, 12:34:40 PM
So the friend reaching out me... Well, spoke with him for an hour today, was great catching up. He actually offered me a job! But is apparently quite religious. SO THIS IS GONNA BE SUPER AWKWARD!

@ Ellie:  So, is this good news about finally catching up with your past friend?   Did you meet him face to face or was it just speaking to him on the phone.
Yes, this could be quite awkward   .... offered you a job.... on the phone? ...... I take it that you didn't reveal your transition plans.....
Well, Ellie, you are not alone with a situation like this... this is something we have to deal with as transitioners...
One reason I quit my job as my old male self, relocated over 1000 miles away, started my own small business as a woman, left my family and friends that did not accept me.... and now I have been here since I went full time over a year and a half ago.... developed and formed new friendships... male and female... and I even have a few male suitors... and with the problem of they nor anyone else in my small town know of my male past. .....   
... so, you think that you have problems!!!!!!

Please continue to keep us updated....  we can be supportive your in disappointments and and rejoice with you in your successes.

Hugs, and well-wishes,
Danielle

Offered you a job?  That's awesome.  I've experienced only good things so far from religious people.  Two of my neighbors have invited me to bible study a couple times.  Since coming out to then, they are still friendly which is great.  I have one friend that is devout Mormon.  I do not think it will go well with him.  I'm delaying till Xmas and I'm full time.  I hope yours isn't devout like this guy.

What kind if job?  One you can use your geek powers with?

Bari Jo

Quote from: Bari Jo on April 05, 2018, 04:10:45 PM
Offered you a job?  That's awesome.  I've experienced only good things so far from religious people.  Two of my neighbors have invited me to bible study a couple times.  Since coming out to then, they are still friendly which is great.  I have one friend that is devout Mormon.  I do not think it will go well with him.  I'm delaying till Xmas and I'm full time.  I hope yours isn't devout like this guy.

What kind if job?  One you can use your geek powers with?

Bari Jo

Bari Jo:   
You are very correct, not all religious people will shun you,
in fact many can be quite supportive and accepting.
Danielle

Not the one that I found house address for but no phone number, the one that added me on facebook i mentioned second.

I'm not entirely clear what all they do, but it is an IT integration firm outside of Atlanta in Macon GA that works with specialty stuff like custom Electronic Medical Record database stuff (essentially providing extra functions over the actual EMR), and just so happens EMRs are what I've been working with the most on account of my dad's nurse staffing business and doing desktop support for it.