If you saw some of my last posts, you know that I came out to my stepmother and it went fairly well. Today, my father told me to come speak to him and I thought it was going to be good news. Unfortunately, my father will not allow my transitioning at all until I'm 18. He continued by saying he's sorry and he supports me, but how can he support me if he won't even call me my preferred name and pronouns?

Confused feelings,
Maria


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Quote from: MariaMoore on April 07, 2018, 02:00:44 AM
If you saw some of my last posts, you know that I came out to my stepmother and it went fairly well. Today, my father told me to come speak to him and I thought it was going to be good news. Unfortunately, my father will not allow my transitioning at all until I'm 18. He continued by saying he's sorry and he supports me, but how can he support me if he won't even call me my preferred name and pronouns?

Confused feelings,
Maria


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I came out to my parents at around 17 and started transition shortly after: patience. Patience is everything. It isn't only your transition, it's theirs, too. Pronouns take time. The whole thing takes time to sink in.

What I recommend is finding some books and internet links so he can better understand the situation. Maybe even encourage him to attend PFLAG meetings. Try to impress upon him the importance of transitioning young to prevent the masculanizing effects of testosterone.

My father took almost a year to start 100% using the correct pronouns. Now, at 23, I'm a daddy's girl and anyone will tell you that. If you ask my family, they'll tell you I'm there daughter/sister etc. Full stop. You'll get there with patience and time.

Quote from: yayo on April 07, 2018, 02:07:19 AM
I came out to my parents at around 17 and started transition shortly after: patience. Patience is everything. It isn't only your transition, it's theirs, too. Pronouns take time. The whole thing takes time to sink in.

What I recommend is finding some books and internet links so he can better understand the situation. Maybe even encourage him to attend PFLAG meetings. Try to impress upon him the importance of transitioning young to prevent the masculanizing effects of testosterone.

My father took almost a year to start 100% using the correct pronouns. Now, at 23, I'm a daddy's girl and anyone will tell you that. If you ask my family, they'll tell you I'm there daughter/sister etc. Full stop. You'll get there with patience and time.

I dunno, I just expected him to be a little more helping. Just a week ago, he said he'd accept me no matter what I identified as. Now, I'm revealing myself, the self that makes me happy and I'm not being very accepted. Should I just tell him I'm not planning on a name change or HRT yet?


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Quote from: MariaMoore on April 07, 2018, 02:11:50 AM

I dunno, I just expected him to be a little more helping. Just a week ago, he said he'd accept me no matter what I identified as. Now, I'm revealing myself, the self that makes me happy and I'm not being very accepted. Should I just tell him I'm not planning on a name change or HRT yet?


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Well, I think the thing is...you want to get to a place where using the correct name and pronouns feels very natural for him. And that takes time. "Now" doesn't matter as much as you think it does. You're at the beginning of a long process of him totally seeing his daughter in you.

It sounds like he's honestly at a great start. I think your relationship with him will be great through your transition, and he sounds like a wonderful father.

Quote from: yayo on April 07, 2018, 02:39:23 AM
Well, I think the thing is...you want to get to a place where using the correct name and pronouns feels very natural for him. And that takes time. "Now" doesn't matter as much as you think it does. You're at the beginning of a long process of him totally seeing his daughter in you.

It sounds like he's honestly at a great start. I think your relationship with him will be great through your transition, and he sounds like a wonderful father.

We spoke since earlier and it just seems like he needs time to get adjusted to it.


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Did you ask why?


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