So here is the deal, at my 28 almost 29 years old I have decided that I want to live as a woman, I want HRT and just thinking about it makes me so happy.
But currently I am married to a woman whom I love. She knows I am trans because like 2 years ago I brought it up. She is pro lgbtq but her reaction was sad, she loves that identify as a woman but told me she still fell in love with the current body and face I have, also she cant take on the struggle that transition would mean. I get her it can't be easy to have ur male presenting loved one be transgeder. Anyhow I panicked at the thought of losing my life long love and the life I have built so I told her if we could compromise and I wouldn't do HRT because I didn't wanna lose her and I said that at least I wanna be able to be out in lgbtq friendly spaces and in more neutral territories I present as androgenous, except with family were I go completely stealth.
However, now I have reached a point were even if I lose her I dont want to stay in a male body. I want to let my wife know and let her decide what she wants to do about it from her end, but the problem is this. She is an academic so a lot of times she has conferences to travel to and deadlines for publications. Currently she is in s local conference and super busy, and next month she is traveling, I don't want to ruin her career causing her a breakdown in the middle of an important date, so should I wait? I also worry that maybe there is never going to be a perfect timing so maybe the sooner the better.
Also would it be ethical if I start HRT right now even if I haven't had the talk with her? I know the changes are slow so I don't wanna waste time and the effects wouldn't be noticible in just a couple of months right?
So if anyone has any good advise I would really appreciate it