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First openly hostile

Started by Nicole70, April 10, 2018, 06:52:48 PM

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Nicole70

I'm sure many ladies on here have plenty of worse experiences but I just had my first openly hostile reception from a medical professional, so I'm here to vent a bit.

I went to a local pathology clinic for my 6 weekly hormone/ bloods check, I usually use them and they have been absolutely fine in the past, however today was somewhat different. I was dressed feminine, I know I don't pass but I'm almost full time now I'm feeling like take me as I am or leave me alone.

Anyway I walked in and the nurse at reception looked up, saw me and said 'oh my' to her colleague stood next to me, I gave her my form and she started with the issues, her first comment was what is this '6 weeks' comment on the form (over here there's a place where doctors can put comments) so I said that's what my doctor wrote, her response was that's confusing so do you need to come back in six weeks? I told her no it has already been six weeks. Then she said ahh, your doctor hasn't indicated that this should be bulk billed (free to the patient) so she said we are going to have to charge you, to which I answered i had never seen that before and have never been charged before, to which she sarcastically replied well how about you go and try your luck elsewhere.

Needless to say I threw her a filthy look, took back my form and told her I shall do just that, and walked out. I then walked across the car park to a competitor where they were lovely, the lady correctly gendered me and there were no issues at all.

Some people are such bigots, I've a mind to complain to the pathology clinic, but I'm not one to normally do so and I don't want to draw attention.

Anyway venting over, I feel a bit better for sharing.

Nicole x
  •  

Cindy

I'm so sorry to hear this.

You were very brave to march out and go elsewhere straight away. Well done.

I would certainly write a letter to the clinic manager and with any luck the bigots will be looking for a new job shortly. Such behaviour to a client in a Pathology clinic is utterly unacceptable in my view.
  •  

Rachel

Good for you, way to build agency :)
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
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GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
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Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
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Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
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Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.
Dr. Thomas in 2020 FEMLAR
  • skype:Rachel?call
  •  

HappyMoni

Nicole,
   Wow, how awful! For the sake of another trans person who might follow you into that first office who might not have your strength, I hope you consider making a complaint. I expect others in that office might not agree with her attitude and might want to know so they can fix it. Sorry you had to deal with this horrible person.
Moni
If I ever offend you, let me know. It's not what I am about.
"Never let the dark kill your light!"  (SailorMars)

HRT June 11, 2015. (new birthday) - FFS in late June 2016. (Dr. _____=Ugh!) - Full time June 18, 2016 (Yeah! finally) - GCS June 27, 2017. (McGinn=Yeah!) - Under Eye repair from FFS 8/17/17 - Nose surgery-November 20, 2017 (Dr. Papel=Yeah) - Hair Transplant on June 21, 2018 (Dr. Cooley-yeah) - Breast Augmentation on July 10, 2018 (Dr. Basner in Baltimore) - Removed bad scarring from FFS surgery near ears and hairline in August, 2018 (Dr. Papel) -Sept. 2018, starting a skin regiment on face with Retin A  April 2019 -repairing neck scar from FFS

]
  •  

SarahFehrman

Quote from: Nicole70 on April 10, 2018, 06:52:48 PM
I'm sure many ladies on here have plenty of worse experiences but I just had my first openly hostile reception from a medical professional, so I'm here to vent a bit.

I went to a local pathology clinic for my 6 weekly hormone/ bloods check, I usually use them and they have been absolutely fine in the past, however today was somewhat different. I was dressed feminine, I know I don't pass but I'm almost full time now I'm feeling like take me as I am or leave me alone.

Anyway I walked in and the nurse at reception looked up, saw me and said 'oh my' to her colleague stood next to me, I gave her my form and she started with the issues, her first comment was what is this '6 weeks' comment on the form (over here there's a place where doctors can put comments) so I said that's what my doctor wrote, her response was that's confusing so do you need to come back in six weeks? I told her no it has already been six weeks. Then she said ahh, your doctor hasn't indicated that this should be bulk billed (free to the patient) so she said we are going to have to charge you, to which I answered i had never seen that before and have never been charged before, to which she sarcastically replied well how about you go and try your luck elsewhere.

Needless to say I threw her a filthy look, took back my form and told her I shall do just that, and walked out. I then walked across the car park to a competitor where they were lovely, the lady correctly gendered me and there were no issues at all.

Some people are such bigots, I've a mind to complain to the pathology clinic, but I'm not one to normally do so and I don't want to draw attention.

Anyway venting over, I feel a bit better for sharing.

Nicole x
You should complain, dear. That doctor might wonder why he/they may be losing patients. That "lady" needs a serious reprimand, at the very least. Do it for your sake, and for other women who might be mistreated by that miscreant.


Hugs,
Sarah from ChiTown
  •  

Nicole70

I will draft something up to send in complaint, they are a nationwide chain of pathologists so it shouldn't be hard finding out who to contact.

To say I was surprised at her attitude is an understatement, now I've had time to think about it over tea and toast, she was bang out of order.

Thanks for the support x
  •  

Donna

What a complete bulls—t attitude out of them by all mean file a complaint. There is not reason any one should take that from any supposed professional.
December 2015 noticed strange feelings moving in
December 2016 started to understand what my body has been telling me all my life, started wearing a bra for comfort full time
Spiro and dutastricide 2017
Mid year 2017 Started dressing and going out shopping etc by myself
October T 14.8 / 456
Came out to my wife in December 2017
January 2018 dressing androgenes and still have face hair
Feb 2018 Dressing full time in female clothing out at work and to friends and family, clean shaven and make up
Living full time March 1 2018
March T 7.4 / 236
April 19th eligard injection, no more Testosterone
June 19th a brand new freshly trained HRT and transgender care doctor for me. Only a one day waiting list to become her patient 😍

[/
  •  

blackcat

I am so sorry you had to deal with that. I would definitely send some correspondence letting the company know her behavior was unacceptable.

I've had some encounters with inappropriately rude medical staff before, and it's so upsetting and disheartening, especially if you're dealing with a personal issue and in need of help. It's mind-boggling.  ???
  •  

Donna

We all need to speak up about this kind of behaviour as it can lead to even worse treatment down the road and or major delays in treatment. This I know from experience.
December 2015 noticed strange feelings moving in
December 2016 started to understand what my body has been telling me all my life, started wearing a bra for comfort full time
Spiro and dutastricide 2017
Mid year 2017 Started dressing and going out shopping etc by myself
October T 14.8 / 456
Came out to my wife in December 2017
January 2018 dressing androgenes and still have face hair
Feb 2018 Dressing full time in female clothing out at work and to friends and family, clean shaven and make up
Living full time March 1 2018
March T 7.4 / 236
April 19th eligard injection, no more Testosterone
June 19th a brand new freshly trained HRT and transgender care doctor for me. Only a one day waiting list to become her patient 😍

[/
  •  

Maria77

You did the right thing.  Now make a formal complaint.  If a stranger on the street causes you problems there is not much we can do, but with businesses, we can complain.   When I have done that in the past, I always use "lgbt" equality because most business now day fear the L&G.   When I was in the hospital getting other surgery, I looked roughand a couple of nurses misgendered me on purpose.  I think for some bigots it is a power thing.  My husband complained and the next day he spoke with a supervisor who was incensed at his employees especially because he is a gay man.    ::)

I'm sure those nurses will think 2x the next time they have a trans patient.
  •  

Faith

I agree with the 'lodge a complaint' recommendation. Most times the Dr'ing staff has no clue what the clerical staff is doing.

Not trans/attitude related but is staff related, here's an experience that I had.

Summation, I have/had (hard to tell now with diet change) a Hiatal hernia, which I didn't know then. I went to the office for the diagnosis/follow-up after having been there a few times and after the exploratory camera shoot down my throat.

Anyway, I get to the desk and there was a billing mistake, they had under-charged me. No problem but my budget did not allow any payment at that time (it was several hundred dollars), I told them they'd have to bill me. I have no problem paying, just not in a lump like that. They refused to let me keep my appointment until I 'made good' on their mistake .... I left.

As soon as I got home I drafted a letter directly to the Dr explaining the situation and stating that I hope he didn't find anything that was going to kill me since I wasn't allowed to hear the results. I did not get angry, I just explained it politely.

When I got there for my follow-up follow-up, with the money to pay my balance, there was no balance to pay,  my due account was zero'd out.

Dr's will step in when the clerical staff is wrong, they do have to be informed though .. don't blame the Dr, they are usually clueless until you tell them.
I left the door open, only a few came through. such is my life.
Bluesky:@faithnd.bsky.social

  •  

pamelatransuk

I am so sorry Nicole to hear you suffered such sarcasm and bigotry and embarrassment.

You are definitely correct in your decision to lodge an official complaint both for your sake and for the sake of others.

Pamela


  •  

rosinstraya

Hi Nicole,

I'm guessing from your use of the term "bulk billed" you're here in Oz...... :)

Yes, definitely make a complaint, and make sure to tell them that you went to the competitor who was so much better and professional. You can be sure they will not like that.

If you don't get much of a response, you may wish to check out your state's complaint services - in NSW you have the Health Care Complaints Commission and the Anti-Discrimination Board. Other states will likely have something similar.

Good luck, stand strong and keep moving forward! 🙂
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  •  

Northstar

Nicole,

Brava to you for taking such good care of yourself, immediately moving to do what was right for you!

Thank you for the complaint you will be writing.  It's important to let the higher-ups know about this problem, especially in a medical setting.  May I suggest that you suggest they offer their staff mandatory training in LGBT cultural competency?  That might start a sea change that could benefit others over time.

{{{HUGS}}}
  •  

BrandiYYC

Quote from: Nicole70 on April 10, 2018, 08:24:10 PM
I will draft something up to send in complaint, they are a nationwide chain of pathologists so it shouldn't be hard finding out who to contact.

To say I was surprised at her attitude is an understatement, now I've had time to think about it over tea and toast, she was bang out of order.

Thanks for the support x

Hi Nicole,

Please definitely say something, we need to stand up for ourselves and if we are polite and respectful we should expect the same in return. Stay strong!
  •  

FinallyMichelle

You delt with it well. Sometimes complaints will mean nothing but most of the time it will keep an uncaring worker from victimizing someone else. As much as I hate peoples using us as an agenda when they don't actually care one bit, this agenda has momentum in that no one wants to stand opposed. Or be SEEN as standing opposed and doctors specifically deal with an inordinate amount of younger people who are more accepting and are starting families.

We absolutely must be able to deal with this kind of aggression though. It's not going away soon and to believe that we will not have to deal with it is being almost intentionally naive.

I have to deal with it from women all the time. It can be even worse if they know that I am trans. One in particular that I have to see all of the time. We have gotten to a point where we just glare at each other over the counter, she was horrible to me when she first found out(also doctor's office) and I had to complain. Now we just accept that we have to deal with each other even though she wishes that I would burn in hell and I wish that I could yank the awful extensions out of her hair.
  •  

Allison S



Quote from: FinallyMichelle on April 11, 2018, 06:28:26 PM

I have to deal with it from women all the time. It can be even worse if they know that I am trans. One in particular that I have to see all of the time. We have gotten to a point where we just glare at each other over the counter, she was horrible to me when she first found out(also doctor's office) and I had to complain. Now we just accept that we have to deal with each other even though she wishes that I would burn in hell and I wish that I could yank the awful extensions out of her hair.

I've been dealing with this lately and I give them full attitude right back. I had one have a coworker come to her rescue and I explained the situation but I should've asked if she was a manager and if not, why she was coming over. I know everyone in the room heard what was going on.. it kind of upsets me but I'm moving soon anyway and I won't be seeing these people again. I wish I react like the OP but sometimes the product/service is already paid for. I find men are A LOT nicer to me. I mean they never give me a problem at all..

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk

  •  

FinallyMichelle

Yeah, for whatever reason men don't give me a problem ever anymore, women are a different story. I don't understand at all. I held the door for a young mother the other day, two children around her knees and one in her arms and she was trying to put her wallet away and get her keys out, she looked like I was stabbing her in the heart. Sometimes I feel like I have woken up on another planet.
  •  

Nicole70

Update

I emailed the client liaison officer at the head office, I explained what had happened and how I felt about it, I also mentioned that up until now they had been my preferred service provider, and how their competition had been so much more professional.

I got a phone call back within an hour from a very understanding gentleman who I spoke to about the matter, he apologised for the unprofessional behaviour of the staff and that the matter has already been drawn to the attention of management, and that the members of the team at the centre I attended will be contacted regarding the matter.

I hope the message does get through to the right people, he did seem sincere, and like I say I haven't had any issues with them previously so I'm hoping it's an isolated couple of individuals.

Thanks for your support

Nicole x
  •  

Maria77

Nicole,

You handled the entire situation with class.   
Way to go!
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