Quote from: rlacy2018 on April 11, 2018, 11:17:31 PM
I mean, I don't want to be clocked my whole life, but if I decide that I can't live as a man, then there's really no point. I see what you're saying how it really depends how your face looks before HRT, and it might not change much, I've seen that through a lot of before and afters.
Do you think it's something I should take into account when I decide to transition? I mean, should me being able to pass be a factor in my decision to transition or not?
Another note, does therapy really help? I've been thinking about this for like four years now, and I just don't see how a therapist could help me find myself. I feel like I've tried everything, asked myself every question, etc, some I just can't answer.
If you are still young and don't have overly male features you should do fine with HRT. I think that being concerned with passing is one of many factors that someone has to consider when thinking about transitioning. We are all individuals who have enormous differences and yet have many similarities. This is where a good gender therapist can come into play. If you can get someone who has experience dealing with transitioning they can be invaluable. I knew that I was going to transition when I set my first appointment. I found someone who was able to explore all the variables with me and help put everything into perspective for me. She was able to identify issues for me and help me resolve them during the process. Getting someone with experience can help you identify the issues and questions you have and help you make informed and intelligent decisions about what you want to do and how to go about doing something about it.
You can see from many of the girls who have posted on this site that HRT can do amazing things. When I first started out I wan't sure I would be able to pass. Facially and body (figure) wise I have no issues passing now. However because I am 6'2" tall and wear size 13 shoes and have fairly large hands the tells are all there and I get clocked most of the time. Most people don't care and in fact tell me they admire me for doing what I've done. I have cis women and men tell me I am a source of inspiration to them and they love my spirit and attitude. They see me as female, treat me as female and don't care that I'm trans. So apparently confidence, attitude and happiness breeds goodwill and makes people comfortable. The main thing is that you be comfortable with yourself. That comfort will make others comfortable also.
To give you an idea of my changes, here is a before and after. I did have some minor FFS done 2 1/2 years ago but that was not what has changed me the most, it's been the effects of estrogen. (The before was taken the day I started HRT 3 years ago and the afters were taken on Tuesday and a couple weeks ago.) As usual your mileage may vary and results are not guaranteed.
