So...
Have you ever fantasized what you'd be/look like as the other sex?
And by 'other' I ofc mean the opposite of your gender identity  ! Or if you're nb, both or whatever  !

So... if you weren't trans and a guy/girl/nb/whatever, have you ever thought about what you'd be like then? Can you even imagine this? This is also different imo to having endured as your birth sex through life - by this I actually mean if you really were the other gender?

Or what kind of a woman/man you'd like to be ideally?

---
Hmm, me, yes and no. I have thought about what I'd be like if I were a girl a few times. I even once saw a pic of a girl I thought I'd be/look like if I were female  ! Sort of feminine version of my style/looks. I've also wondered what kind of female I'd be like if I tried to be one. Would I be that mini skirt/high heels/long hair/hot & beautiful type - as looks are generally important to me (I mean mine)  ? Or would I be a masculine woman, then? Other people would probably guess the latter, knowing me personally. But if I really were a woman, I'd like to be that hot woman then  ! Though that kinda seems ridiculous coz I'm not like that at all...! And never were. But if, if I were a woman...!

I just know though I'd make a terrible job as a lady...  starting from the fact I always sit my legs wide apart...! (Even now.) It's starting to occur to me why the boys thought I was weird and didn't like me the way they liked the other girls when we were kids... ! There's a chance I oozed some guy vibes even when I tried very much to be a girl at one point (at 12). I also heard the other kids had thought I was a lesbian - which wasn't entirely inaccurate as I do like girls...  ! Never identified as one though  .

Honestly, it's hard for me to picture myself as a woman of any kind - it's so far away from what I am as a person. I think I'd be more feminine than masculine one though. 

Not much. Spent all my time imagining myself looking like how I felt.

But I suppose if my life habits were to go on, I'd look like and take after Eva Green. I'd been compared to her in looks before.

I have thought about what I would look like as a guy. I would be a really sad excuse for a guy. Im small and I never developed facial hair or male musculature. The sad thing is that if I had been a CIS guy I would have had dysphoria and jealousy toward my brother. He is 6'4 and very jacked and very masculine looking. I'm totally grateful I didn't develop like he did but if I was a CIS guy I would have found the fact he was so big to be totally unfair and Im sure I would have been bitter and jealous.  That's really weird to think about though. Lol

Quote from: Julia1996 on March 18, 2018, 07:58:01 AM
Im small and I never developed facial hair or male musculature. The sad thing is that if I had been a CIS guy I would have had dysphoria and jealousy toward my brother.

xDDD!

Got plenty of pictures from my life before,  fairly unremarkable [emoji23]

Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk

Quote from: PurpleWolf on March 18, 2018, 04:48:41 AM
. . . by this I actually mean if you really were the other gender?

Or what kind of a woman/man you'd like to be ideally?

             If born my identified gender surely I would have lived a totally different life, would certainly not be where I am at today which, despite all difficulties considered, I still wouldn't trade for a "do-over" ever! Now if I could re-start again, knowing what I know now, (like in "Groundhog Day") surely there are things I'd do differently but "regret" wouldn't be a large part of "the picture", there'd certainly be things I'd endeavor to keep the same.

              Most importantly I wouldn't trade my accepting parents or family for anything! Suppose one could say I'm content "being transgendered"? Only took 40yrs to reach such a happy state of social confusion . . . "cherished dreams" being our best stock-in-trade!

             Wolf your incessant "out there" questioning reminds me very much of "Nero" who was one of the best Admins here ever!! Since deceased many of us still think of him fondly.

Before I transitioned I desperately tried to find a way that I could "be a girl" so yeah, I've not just played with the thought, I played dress-up as well! Back then I was in my teens and the only way I could see myself at least somewhat comfortably as my birth sex during my denial period, was looking like the... erhm, I really don't want to say "sex worker stereotype" but I can't find any other words for how I and others saw it. I mean trashed pantyhose under very short skirts (and g-string panties under that, cause... nevermind), stuffed push-up bras under tight shirts that showed a lot of cleavage or cheap corsets, rough boots or high heels, long messy hair and heaps of makeup.

I wore that to school as my everyday-outfits and my parents said I looked like a prostitute. I agreed with them and continued on. In no way am or was I making fun of sex workers though, and I never intended it as a caricature. I admired them and thought they were brave and beautiful, but mostly I just really liked that look, and in some ways I still do. But it doesn't exactly agree or align with my male gender or how I see myself now. So I prefer not to anymore. But I still like that style on others. I sometimes jokingly called that style "trash goth" as in "white trash" but kinda goth as well, you know? No I had no class what so ever...

If I hadn't transitioned/been trans, I likely would have continued on that track. I don't know which celebrity to compare to, but maybe something like a mix between Dita von Teese and Emilie Autumn? Or if anyone's seen the movie "Fight Club" then a lot like the character Marla. I would likely still have changed hairstyle/colour often though. And still would have been into tattoos and piercings.

Quote from: SeptagonScars on April 10, 2018, 05:51:33 PM
Back then I was in my teens and the only way I could see myself at least somewhat comfortably as my birth sex during my denial period, was looking like the... erhm, I really don't want to say "sex worker stereotype" but I can't find any other words for how I and others saw it. I mean trashed pantyhose under very short skirts (and g-string panties under that, cause... nevermind), stuffed push-up bras under tight shirts that showed a lot of cleavage or cheap corsets, rough boots or high heels, long messy hair and heaps of makeup.

Oh, no me too  ! Well - at least when I was like 13-14ish in some periods I tried very hard to be a girl. Haha, after dressing up in guy jeans and trying to hide my chest my family tried to push me back into being a girl. So, on one vacation at 14 I pretty much dressed up like that then  ! (I mean your description.) It was a mockery, really. But I looked weird and trashy. And then I became so depressed during that vac that I wanted to die. I still walked and stood in a manly way and look really pissed in those pics. I literally felt I was a man in drag. All the guys who whistled at me etc. I thought wish you only knew...! I felt I was a guy - in dress-up.

Funnily I had push-ups and cleavages before at around 12-13... though I really didn't get why the other girls shunned me for it. But I guess they thought I looked like a w**** lol. After that though I pretty soon evolved into wearing band Ts etc... I did wear fishnets and short skirts occasionally and 'punkish' clothes. But I acted male enough so everyone at my new school at 13 had thought I was a boy - until they saw me in a skirt!

Thus I've thought that had I been born cis and been actually comfortable being a girl and sort of feminine on some level - I might've been a sort of rockish/punkish type and still continue wearing those fishnets etc. But presenting in a feminine way and wear actual female clothes instead  !

The problem was I was never a girl - or female - so I never even pretended to be feminine. I was just a guy in girl clothes and seemed trashy I guess. Dressing in female clothes + having a provacative makeup plus acting masculine doesn't come off that graceful  !!! Even wearing skirts I used to sit my legs apart etc. as much as the skirt would allow!

I've been told I look like Seth green.

I've had bouts where I was in denial, and tried to butch up.  As a guy I was good looking.  I never was able to relate to others the right way in that role though.  All the while being in boy mode I was plagued with thoughts of what if I was a girl.  In tansition, I don't have these thoughts either way.  I am me, thank goodness.

Bari Jo

Of course I did when I was a male, and I was one hot looking male. But I ended up looking much more beautiful than I imagined as a female. My latest pic on my forum profile at a Songkran party - Thai New Year- this evening

I just use faceapp to see what I'd look like 'dudeified'. I'll stick to being myself thanks lol. I am actually pretty handsome   Something I never managed to get even remotely close to before.  I prefer being pretty ^_^

Quote from: PurpleWolf on March 18, 2018, 04:48:41 AM
So...
Have you ever fantasized what you'd be/look like as the other sex?
And by 'other' I ofc mean the opposite of your gender identity  ! Or if you're nb, both or whatever  !

So... if you weren't trans and a guy/girl/nb/whatever, have you ever thought about what you'd be like then? Can you even imagine this? This is also different imo to having endured as your birth sex through life - by this I actually mean if you really were the other gender?

Or what kind of a woman/man you'd like to be ideally?

---
Hmm, me, yes and no. I have thought about what I'd be like if I were a girl a few times. I even once saw a pic of a girl I thought I'd be/look like if I were female  ! Sort of feminine version of my style/looks. I've also wondered what kind of female I'd be like if I tried to be one. Would I be that mini skirt/high heels/long hair/hot & beautiful type - as looks are generally important to me (I mean mine)  ? Or would I be a masculine woman, then? Other people would probably guess the latter, knowing me personally. But if I really were a woman, I'd like to be that hot woman then  ! Though that kinda seems ridiculous coz I'm not like that at all...! And never were. But if, if I were a woman...!

I just know though I'd make a terrible job as a lady...  starting from the fact I always sit my legs wide apart...! (Even now.) It's starting to occur to me why the boys thought I was weird and didn't like me the way they liked the other girls when we were kids... ! There's a chance I oozed some guy vibes even when I tried very much to be a girl at one point (at 12). I also heard the other kids had thought I was a lesbian - which wasn't entirely inaccurate as I do like girls...  ! Never identified as one though  .

Honestly, it's hard for me to picture myself as a woman of any kind - it's so far away from what I am as a person. I think I'd be more feminine than masculine one though.

I wasn't necessarily the best looking guy around, but I was a bit of a dude. I don't want to fantasize about that, I am happy with being a woman 

Quote from: PurpleWolf on April 11, 2018, 09:42:30 PM
Oh, no me too  ! Well - at least when I was like 13-14ish in some periods I tried very hard to be a girl. Haha, after dressing up in guy jeans and trying to hide my chest my family tried to push me back into being a girl. So, on one vacation at 14 I pretty much dressed up like that then  ! (I mean your description.) It was a mockery, really. But I looked weird and trashy. And then I became so depressed during that vac that I wanted to die. I still walked and stood in a manly way and look really pissed in those pics. I literally felt I was a man in drag. All the guys who whistled at me etc. I thought wish you only knew...! I felt I was a guy - in dress-up.

Funnily I had push-ups and cleavages before at around 12-13... though I really didn't get why the other girls shunned me for it. But I guess they thought I looked like a w**** lol. After that though I pretty soon evolved into wearing band Ts etc... I did wear fishnets and short skirts occasionally and 'punkish' clothes. But I acted male enough so everyone at my new school at 13 had thought I was a boy - until they saw me in a skirt!

Thus I've thought that had I been born cis and been actually comfortable being a girl and sort of feminine on some level - I might've been a sort of rockish/punkish type and still continue wearing those fishnets etc. But presenting in a feminine way and wear actual female clothes instead  !

The problem was I was never a girl - or female - so I never even pretended to be feminine. I was just a guy in girl clothes and seemed trashy I guess. Dressing in female clothes + having a provacative makeup plus acting masculine doesn't come off that graceful  !!! Even wearing skirts I used to sit my legs apart etc. as much as the skirt would allow!

I totally felt like I was a guy in drag as well when I dressed like that, but in some way I thought it was fun too, like I was playing dress-up or something. At age 12-13 I really didn't have enough on my chest to show cleavage! I had like AA-cup size back then (like A-cup was too big). So I didn't start wearing push-up bras until I was 15-16 when things had gotten bigger, and then stuck with that trashy style until I was 19, pretty much every day, but on some few days I wore pants and hoodies instead.

Back then was same as now, I have a mix of girly and manly ways of walking, sitting, standing, etc. I mostly sat/sit with my legs crossed or just straight down, I rarely spread my legs while sitting.

I never was a girl either, but I was most certainly feminine. I struggled so hard to figure out how I could even be trans cause I liked dresses, makeup, having long hair, etc, but felt so wrong with my birth sex. At age 16 I wrote in my diaries that I felt like "a girl who's actually a boy who wants to be a girl" so... I guess that sums up my confusion! I was pretty much a trans guy cross-dresser, so that's probably why I didn't really mind the girly clothes. I just didn't like my female body, but I tried to kind of "work with it" or something. And I also tried to "cure" myself of gender dysphoria with a heavy dose of femininity... didn't work!

I wasn't very graceful either, but it kinda went well with my attitude and trashy punk-goth style. People mostly thought I was inspirational and strong (like mentally strong, then), and perhaps sadly, said it was good that I was "being myself" cause I really wasn't myself.

This might sound odd, but I've thought that if I had been born a cis guy, chances are I would have thought I might be a trans woman in my teens... cause I was very feminine, into men, and confused about it all, I mean. But if I was a cis woman I think I would have been a lively yet nihilistic rock-goth girl, and very sexual and risk-taking. I think I would have been very proud of my body and completely shameless about it. Not everyone's cup of tea, but definitely some people's whiskey, kind of! 

Quote from: SeptagonScars on April 13, 2018, 02:47:25 AM
I totally felt like I was a guy in drag as well when I dressed like that, but in some way I thought it was fun too, like I was playing dress-up or something. At age 12-13 I really didn't have enough on my chest to show cleavage! I had like AA-cup size back then (like A-cup was too big). So I didn't start wearing push-up bras until I was 15-16 when things had gotten bigger, and then stuck with that trashy style until I was 19, pretty much every day, but on some few days I wore pants and hoodies instead.

Back then was same as now, I have a mix of girly and manly ways of walking, sitting, standing, etc. I mostly sat/sit with my legs crossed or just straight down, I rarely spread my legs while sitting.

I never was a girl either, but I was most certainly feminine. I struggled so hard to figure out how I could even be trans cause I liked dresses, makeup, having long hair, etc, but felt so wrong with my birth sex. At age 16 I wrote in my diaries that I felt like "a girl who's actually a boy who wants to be a girl" so... I guess that sums up my confusion! I was pretty much a trans guy cross-dresser, so that's probably why I didn't really mind the girly clothes. I just didn't like my female body, but I tried to kind of "work with it" or something. And I also tried to "cure" myself of gender dysphoria with a heavy dose of femininity... didn't work!

I wasn't very graceful either, but it kinda went well with my attitude and trashy punk-goth style. People mostly thought I was inspirational and strong (like mentally strong, then), and perhaps sadly, said it was good that I was "being myself" cause I really wasn't myself.

This might sound odd, but I've thought that if I had been born a cis guy, chances are I would have thought I might be a trans woman in my teens... cause I was very feminine, into men, and confused about it all, I mean. But if I was a cis woman I think I would have been a lively yet nihilistic rock-goth girl, and very sexual and risk-taking. I think I would have been very proud of my body and completely shameless about it. Not everyone's cup of tea, but definitely some people's whiskey, kind of! 

Haha, again I can relate so much  !!!

Actually I was already B-cup when my mom forced me to have my first bra at 12... I once bought a red wool sweater that had a deep cleavage (around 12-13) - and the other girls were really talking trash about me and literally said I was a w**** to dress like that and desperate for guys' attention  Well... it felt bad, especially bcos that wasn't what I had in mind at all. I just liked the color and the sweater (it had orangy threads in it too) and I really didn't think about that cleavage buying that. I guess I was very oblivious to things like that - like if I didn't have this chest I could wear low cut men's shirts for example now.

On the other hand I was pretty good at pretending to be a girl and could be very flirty and direct etc. - well it was easy bcos it was just a show and I literally felt I was acting. It felt just damn phony. I really felt empty inside - and at the same time sulky bcos literally felt I was a guy too, so felt weird about acting the 'girl' part while talking to guys.

And I was into makeup etc. too - and still am! So definitely been feeling like if I can be a guy/trans and still this way. I wasn't into corsets etc. 'female goth style' like long skirts etc... and though my overall presentation might be 'feminine' in a sense that I use eyeliner etc... and I don't have a buzzcut, I would never call myself feminine bcos that word just doesn't describe me at all. But all that has been confusing as well.

And I've definitely thought had I been born male I might've been a trans girl  ! Many, many times. Especially bcos I'm into makeup and fashion and played with dolls as a kid etc. And I've heard the same from others too, so you're not the only one  . I think that comes from the confusion when you mix interests/likes with gender. I've also thought I might do drag  - might be fun  - but seriously though I might not. But I'm open-minded so would def be up for it! But not as long as I look like this...!!!

Gender really does not have anything to do with interests or style.

I think people think it's okay for a cis guy to wear makeup and jewelry and earrings and nail polish - but when a trans guy does that, it suddenly becomes a discussion about gender. Plus I don't personally consider a 'rocker style' like that to be necessarily feminine - I view it more as masculine. But it's hard if you already have a female body, so having a long hair or nail polish can accentuate that image in people's minds. I just met a cis guy who had cool black nails with some decos on them - and thought to myself that I should paint my nails for a change too  ! I bought some shiny silver glittery one a while back... I'm really lazy in that I usually (never) bother to paint my nails - but been toning it down as well bcos I have an itchy feeling that that could make me appear more 'female' to other people. Same with makeup... I mostly use just eyeliner. But if I was cis or already on T and looking cis I wouldn't need to worry about things like that. 

Well, when I was a kid I was really into this show called the Teen Titans, and I thought that Raven was like super cool. I told myself that if I could be a girl then I would be like her. Of course, I was only 12 at the time so please don't judge me lol. So yeah, I just really dug her personality, hairstyle, and just pretty much everything. I will say that it was this character that led me to be interested in Goth as a kid. I am a bit embarrassed to admit that actually, but we all start somewhere.

Heck yeah I imagined many times what it would be like to be a girl/woman.  My musclewomen-com website and the Deviant Art site it leads to is chock full of art I did of so-called "muscle women".  They are actually me in woman form.

I pretty much did the desert rat/Tank Girl thing, and was headed for the Steven Tyler look in my old age lol.

I never went through a hyperfem phase because I was always really uncomfortable with being attractive as a woman. The closest I got was a bit of the cyberpunk look and wearing leggings all the time with pushup bras, but I never showed cleavage or thigh, and my chest wasn't huge to begin with. Guys, I hear, found me attractive but because of my brazenly masc mannerisms, I was always too intimidating to approach.

Last year I did go through a casual sex phase leading up to me coming out, but that didn't really involve styling myself so much as forcing a hyperfeminine mental space. If I were cis, I'd probably just be more on the poly end of things instead of into casual hookups. As a dude, though, hookups seem much more appealing for the kind of sex I'm genuinely interested in having once I've started transitioning.

I dream about being the opposite sex, I also refer to myself (internally) as a male