I fluctuate between dressing as a man and dressing as a woman (born a man) and I find it all really confusing. Sometimes I feel very trans and I want to start hormones and then others I feel very manly and absolutely don't want to transition. I wonder if I'm just a cross dresser and will need time to reflect. Meanwhile I won't just jump into hormones as I believe that would be a mistake. If anyone else goes through this or did I'm desperate for advice. Thanks love y'all.

I would suggest you seek out a therapist to help you understand what's going on as hormones are a huge, huge step that you probably don't want to take if you are not very certain that is the path you need to follow.

Thanks Jill that makes sense, I have a therapist I see each week ill just have to talk to her more about this

Quote from: Jenniferangelina on March 11, 2018, 02:55:47 PM
I fluctuate between dressing as a man and dressing as a woman (born a man) and I find it all really confusing. Sometimes I feel very trans and I want to start hormones and then others I feel very manly and absolutely don't want to transition. I wonder if I'm just a cross dresser and will need time to reflect. Meanwhile I won't just jump into hormones as I believe that would be a mistake. If anyone else goes through this or did I'm desperate for advice. Thanks love y'all.

Hey Jennifer,  I have been experiencing the  same feelings as you for the last 17 months approx. Although I personally shift from feeling feminine to neutral. I think its important to realize that hrt is only one aspect of a transition and you really need to think about the other aspects, like appearance in front of others, how your change affects those closest to you and your ability to deal with those around you. Some people might find they can't deal with the stress and anxiety of a change like this in their life.
So If I were you I would continue seeing your therapist and discuss the other facets of transitioning that will affect you.

Sonja.

Thank you Sonja, you are so right there are many aspects of transitioning i for one love to put on makeup and nail polish and shaving. just a few little things makes me feel so much more pretty. oh and i naturally have very bushy eyebrows so every 6 weeks i get them waxed

Sometimes I feel like a nut. Sometimes I don't (that's from an old TV commercial jingle).

Yes, you might want to talk to someone and consider this carefully. I would not alter my body chemistry unless I was 100% sure there was not other option. There is a little discussed characteristic of human sexuality that gives many (even most, to some degree) people a sort of Jekyll and Hyde sort of personality about certain things. When people feel sexual they often become someone somewhat different from when they do not feel sexual. This same factor accounts for many of the sexual abuse situations in the news lately, by people who normally seem not the types to do that.

Some people manifest aspects of the their sexual selves through a desire to look and feel like they are the other gender. Unlike some people on this forum, though, I don't belittle this condition as being a fetishist or "just a crossdresser". I believe it is simply less recognized sexual minority, as valid as gay, lesbian or bisexual. In fact it is, arguably, more aptly grouped with those conditions than transsexuality, which describes identity and not sexual desire.

I'm not saying this is your situation, but I have run across others who were considering hormones and "transition" when they were, in fact, not transsexual. It's much easier to get through life being one gender all the time. It would be wonderful if we could wiggle our noses and turn entirely back and forth, but that's not possible just yet. No matter what you choose to do, you will have to custom tailor a lifestyle that works best for you. Good luck with it.

Quote from: Lyric on March 12, 2018, 12:04:15 PM
Sometimes I feel like a nut. Sometimes I don't (that's from an old TV commercial jingle).

Yes, you might want to talk to someone and consider this carefully. I would not alter my body chemistry unless I was 100% sure there was not other option. There is a little discussed characteristic of human sexuality that gives many (even most, to some degree) people a sort of Jekyll and Hyde sort of personality about certain things. When people feel sexual they often become someone somewhat different from when they do not feel sexual. This same factor accounts for many of the sexual abuse situations in the news lately, by people who normally seem not the types to do that.

Some people manifest aspects of the their sexual selves through a desire to look and feel like they are the other gender. Unlike some people on this forum, though, I don't belittle this condition as being a fetishist or "just a crossdresser". I believe it is simply less recognized sexual minority, as valid as gay, lesbian or bisexual. In fact it is, arguably, more aptly grouped with those conditions than transsexuality, which describes identity and not sexual desire.

I'm not saying this is your situation, but I have run across others who were considering hormones and "transition" when they were, in fact, not transsexual. It's much easier to get through life being one gender all the time. It would be wonderful if we could wiggle our noses and turn entirely back and forth, but that's not possible just yet. No matter what you choose to do, you will have to custom tailor a lifestyle that works best for you. Good luck with it.

You took the words right out of my mounds bar!  Don't we all feel that way a times?

Quote from: Jenniferangelina on March 11, 2018, 04:16:47 PM
Thank you Sonja, you are so right there are many aspects of transitioning i for one love to put on makeup and nail polish and shaving. just a few little things makes me feel so much more pretty. oh and i naturally have very bushy eyebrows so every 6 weeks i get them waxed

Hi Jenn!

Glad to see you fixed your avatar - my neck was hurting from reading sideways   Welcome!

Quote from: Jenniferangelina on March 11, 2018, 02:55:47 PM
I fluctuate between dressing as a man and dressing as a woman (born a man) and I find it all really confusing. Sometimes I feel very trans and I want to start hormones and then others I feel very manly and absolutely don't want to transition. I wonder if I'm just a cross dresser and will need time to reflect. Meanwhile I won't just jump into hormones as I believe that would be a mistake. If anyone else goes through this or did I'm desperate for advice. Thanks love y'all.

All my joking aside, I was both anxious and excited about beginning the HRT.  Things made more sense to me and I was on my way to what I felt I needed to be.  That said, you'll see variations of the comment "enjoy the ride" when you do start and I as I have noticed others, sometimes have little attacks by the mental bugger.

They pass but when they hit, they hit hard, at least in my case.

I wish you the best on your journey!

Cassi

As just about all of us on Susan's know already, transitioning is indeed quite a ride...
 
There can be great successes and wonderful progress.... and then there can be disappointment, discouragement and sometime failures....  but once the goal is near, all of that bad stuff is not important... all in all, it is well worth the hard work, effort, tears... all of that can turn into joy and smiles.   
Patience in transitioning is a key element, not very much happens very fast.  Hang in there ladies!!!
Danielle ...  formerly Aspiringperson

Some people describe themselves as "gender fluid". Is this what you are feeling?

Maybe your therapist knows someone who is dealing with this and if they are in a support group, you could talk to them on how they manage their feelings. Is cross dressing enough for you or do you feel a need to go further?

Sometimes just talking out your feelings helps and other times HRT is needed. I have a friend who presents as female, but is non-op and non-HRT. Her face and body looks entirely female and she is happy with that. While some of us, myself included were not completely happy unless we have full transition. We do what will make us happy and your therapist will help you make that decision.

I believe myself to be a woman, I think my doubts stem from my fears, fear of failure fear of change even fear of success. But as my momma likes to say " woman up! Don't get your panties in a bunch! Put your big girl pants on!" God I love her

I know exactly how you feel. I was in denial for over 50 years. Then a number of things happened to change things, so I changed as well. I wish I had transitioned in my teen years, not in my senior years.

Quote from: Dani on March 12, 2018, 06:37:09 PM
I know exactly how you feel. I was in denial for over 50 years. Then a number of things happened to change things, so I changed as well. I wish I had transitioned in my teen years, not in my senior years.

That is something I hope too, I wish I started sooner and feel kind of rushed to get it done since I feel i'm getting too old at 25 years old.
Though at same time I can't deny being a guy gives me some comfort mostly because it's a familiar friend that is more socially acceptable

Quote from: Jenniferangelina on March 16, 2018, 11:41:36 PM
That is something I hope too, I wish I started sooner and feel kind of rushed to get it done since I feel i'm getting too old at 25 years old.
Though at same time I can't deny being a guy gives me some comfort mostly because it's a familiar friend that is more socially acceptable

25 is old - it's a quarter of a century I say!

65 is even older - 2 quarters and 15 I say

Oh G-D !!  65...? Been there done that... HahHa!

  Just don't start with the HTR and all of that...unless you want to go all the way...  Just screws you up and impairs your judgement..  I agree see a therapist..

Quote from: Jenniferangelina on March 16, 2018, 11:41:36 PM
That is something I hope too, I wish I started sooner and feel kind of rushed to get it done since I feel i'm getting too old at 25 years old.
Though at same time I can't deny being a guy gives me some comfort mostly because it's a familiar friend that is more socially acceptable

Quote from: Yvetteforfun on April 09, 2018, 09:14:52 PM
Oh G-D !!  65...? Been there done that... HahHa!

LOL

I don't get the whole "talk to a therapist" like they are the end all be all. How is a therapist suppose to tell me what is in my head? I believe you go back n forth out of fear of change and the unknown. I am not on hormones. I plan to go full time for 6 months before start HRT. The downside is being the ugly duckling for that amount of time. Hormones is not a requirement to transition through. You might want to try going FT for 30 days to get a feel of the social aspects of transition and not allowing yourself to go in man mode.

Quote from: Ms. Bee on April 20, 2018, 05:24:51 PM
I don't get the whole "talk to a therapist" like they are the end all be all. How is a therapist suppose to tell me what is in my head?

Therapist know the right questions to ask. Often we confuse the issue by having far to many thoughts that don't apply. Removing the clutter and getting directly to the issue at hand is well worth the money you pay a good therapist. A good therapist can save you years of questioning meaning more years of happiness and fewer of pain.