Hi Amber,
Yes, it is pretty hard to see how we look to the world. Being trans and seeing ourselves is like looking in a mirror with the distortions of our past presentation making it hard to see what we really look like now. I have come to a good compromise. I get the clothes that I like and then just get feedback from my partner that it isn't way off the track. If she says it isn't and I like it, I don't worry about others. I get a lot of compliments on my style. Of course my response is, "Oh, I have a style?" A few weeks ago, I wore my first bathing suit out in public, a one piece. With that, I was like, "I don't care, I am just gonna do this and whatever happens, happens." I will save the bikini for home when my kids aren't home. Fears of damaging people's retina, I guess. Being your age at least you don't worry about dressing too young to a large extent. I push that envelope just a bit. Not ready to dress other people's idea of my age.
I think this thread is doing you good. I see more ease in you being okay with sharing and that is great to see. I'm sorry I missed you at Keystone.
Genital electrolysis is awesome especially the part where your leg involuntarily kicks like a frog's leg hooked up to a battery. Four hours is a bit much though.
Hugs ya cuttie,
Moni