Hi
I bought a new outfit 4/14/18 to go church in as her. The next Sunday came and I thought of every excuse not to go. Needless to say I didn't go 3rd Sunday. I tell myself "I'll go next Sunday". 4th Sunday is here. I shower the night before. I get up super early and shave my face. That's one thing out to way. I go back to sleep at 6 am. I woke up again at 10:45 am. Church starts at 11:15. I tell myself "you don't have time to get ready as her" to make it. I decide I'll go as him just to say I went to church. Then I tell myself "no wait", i will go as her but I will be late. They say "come as you are".
I put on my color concealer, foundation, lip stick and a little blush on my cheeks. Then grab my new dress off the hanger. Cut the tags off, and put on my new dress, a necklace, and heels. I'm ready to head out the house. Church is 10 miles away so didn't take too long with traffic to get there. I made it in time for the message to start. I am greeted by an usher who greets me and hands me a church bulletin. I prance down the isle to row with a few empty chairs. I sit down between a woman on my left, and two kids to my right.
The message is about having a strong marriage. Basically how to keep the fire a live in a marriage. I am single never married. The pastor went over like 7 key points that displayed on a screen. Won't go into all of those. The last point was on forgiveness. How harboring resentment or unforgivess to any person can diminish the love you have towards your mate. He added forgiveness does not mean reconciliation. Reconciliation take more time. This ministered to my spirit. The message ends. Then we take communion. Another example of God's forgiveness by dying on cross.
Church ends I walk out the sanctuary with everyone else. I tell myself I will "sit down in the rotunda for 30 minutes after service" to see how this experience goes. I sat down on a comfy sofa for 10 minutes, then moved to a round table next to the Coffee shop. I sat at the table for 15 minutes. A kind woman name Amy introduced herself and ask me how did i like the message. I tell her my name is "Brianna". She ask me was I new to the church. I told her I had been going for a year. I actually do go once every 3-4 months since 2014. I told her a year because I didn't want her to think it was my first time. Amy told me about her husband. He works in banking so do I. They have been married for 25 years. She has 3 children. Amy tell's me she's 50. I told her she looks a lot younger than 50. She's looking for the rest of her family so she heads off a few minutes.
I am still sitting at the round table. I make eye contact with this what looks like an 8 year old boy. He's 3 feet away. The little boy waves. He's looking at me so I say hello and ask him his name. He tell's me his name then comes closer. The little boy ask me "why do you sound like a boy?' I say "I do?" I really didn't know what to say. He then goes back to his father who is at another table and talks to him. The look on his dad's is looking like "what is it son?" His dad tells him "say maam this, say maam that". I couldn't make out word for word. Inside I am thinking "OMG do i really". I don't modify my voice too much when I go out as her. But never heard I sound like a boy/man. I wonder if Amy the woman earlier thought I sounded like a man too. I add voice therapy to my list of items when I fully transition.
The little boy is looking at me again. This time he is smiling and waiving. His family leaves their table and he looks at me one last time and smiles. He seems rather intrigued by me after speaking with his dad.
I decide to get up. I have a few more minutes to kill before my 30 minutes is up. My phone is dead. I walk over to a TV hung on the wall. The time reads 1:08 pm. I have 7 more minutes. I decide to walk in the back behind the stairs. I see a ladies restroom. I go in to check myself out. There's a woman in the restroom holding a baby. I take a quick glance in the mirror to see how I am looking. Okay I like what I see, I approve. The woman holding the baby is walking towards the faucets. I leave after I look in the mirror.
I make my way out the rotunda. The wind is blowing my dress up. The split on each side goes high enough where you can see my panties. On my way to the parking lot a teenage girl is hovering in my direction and a man she's with alerts her of me. We didn't hit each other. I get to my car and drive out the parking lot to my apartment. The commute home I am thinking about my visit to my church. I am not close to anyone at the church but a few remember me when I am in male form. This is my second time going to church as her. I first time my nerves were bad and I bolted after the service concluded. Didn't talk to anyone. This time I wanted to be around folks as her to see how it was. I enjoyed it. The only hiccup was when the little boy ask me about my voice why I sounded like a boy. But that comes with transitioning.
