So here's the deal.  I've been part of this 'organization' (for lack of a better word) for at least 4 years now.

I've been personable, friendly, outgoing... certainly not isolative or hermit like.  That being said I've always been in the group, but never actually accepted as part of the group.  Its an exercise class... one in which you earn belts in.   (Getting the picture?)  I'm not given any opportunity to advance in different forms of exercise .. extra katas, etcs... despite expressing interest and a willingness to attend extra classes to do so.  Most of the ones left certainly have had multiple opportunities for private or extra training that I've never been privy to.  I've never been one of their 'chosen' ones, despite all my diligence & hard work.   I by no means am bad at what I do either.

I've even gone so far as to start attending the same church functions a few members of the class do.. obviously to no avail.   Keep in mind we're in the bible belt, and they know the person I have a roommate is a post op. I'm pretty sure some make assumptions about me.. assumptions in which they'd be way off.  For one, I confuse most doctors, much less the average schmo.  That being said, I am female & am accepted as such.

Anyways, I'm coming up on the next rank, and the rank after that is quite a few years (3-4) off.   Should I continue?  Withstand the disregard and accept the nonexistence I have to get this far?  Should I say 'screw you all I'm going home"?  What do you think?

Advice always welcome. 

Doreen, you have to decide what is more important to you, the status or your joy in the activity. Is there another option for you to move to another place and get both? Part of me says, "Don't let them beat you!" No one can tell you your answer except you though. If you are right in your cause, there is no shame in being the lone wolf, even if that means being a thorn in someone else's side. Been there, done that! Good luck with your choice, Hon!
Moni

Something to consider is most likely they aren't the only game around. Sometimes a group will fall in to the clannish mode and if so, you will never be able to stop it. I suspect where your going has few females in attendance and if so, try finding another group that is more welcome to feminine attendance. Any group like yours should be interested in improving all of the membership and just not the chosen few. You never know who will be the next star and if they engage in competition they will require all the talented members they can come up with.

Quote from: HappyMoni on May 05, 2018, 03:40:42 PM
Doreen, you have to decide what is more important to you, the status or your joy in the activity. Is there another option for you to move to another place and get both? Part of me says, "Don't let them beat you!" No one can tell you your answer except you though. If you are right in your cause, there is no shame in being the lone wolf, even if that means being a thorn in someone else's side. Been there, done that! Good luck with your choice, Hon!
Moni

Honestly that is what's gotten me past the last 4 years.  Being a thorn in the side of those that would ignore me.  No matter what they've done.. and believe me ignoring is doing something... I have survived.  Part of me has that stubborn streak that says "Watch me.."  and outlast all of those that would treat me as an outcast.  Another place?  Good question.. certainly not one that I could afford to travel to on a weekly basis, sadly.

Oh, and most of the group is females.. most of them younger by about 20 years than me.  Makes it an age gap thing too, but I'm very rarely invited to any group functions.

Doreen-the advice that others has given you is good.  Personally I'd scout about for another group that is more diverse.  If that is not available then you have a choice ahead of you.  Women can be very clique-y and if you aren't accepted after several years, they will not change.  I always try to pick and choose which fights that I will engage in because too much struggle is stressful.  If you chose to fight this fight, give it your all and realize that it will be a war.   Or it may be time to find something new to invest time and effort in.