Starting off first, been a long time user here, not going to disclose my previous name since that would defeat the purpose, since as far as I know, the name was altogether "compromised". Not sure if anyone IRL actually knew that I used this site, but I know for a fact the name had been discovered via other trans related websites, have since ceased to use the name altogether... going to be fun, trying to avoid sharing too much information.
So starting fresh.. My name is Madison, a transwoman from the United States who has yet to actually start transitioning. Currently partially out of the closet, and really just focusing on getting stuff together before I start to transition(mainly driving, and getting some kind of income to pay for hormones).
After years of questioning, I really became confident in who I was over the last year or two, and am currently getting back into things that I had lost interest in prior. I am currently about to finish my time in college, lasted a bit longer due to a fear of entering the "real" world as someone who I didn't want to be, but I at least used that time to find a field of work that I truly love(or actually two, but both kind of go hand in hand in my case). Outside of being trans, I love to cook, make and play music, practice my photography, stream and watch streams on Twitch, and practice my photography.
So far my biggest struggle with transitioning has really just been a lack of confidence, and a fear of losing my family. Earlier this year I finally came out to a family member, and they were iffy about it, but seemed to be trying to get pass their issues with it, I also realized that I have tried so hard to keep the relationship with my family there, that now it is mostly on them if something happens. I need to take care of myself now, after years of worrying about how they may have felt(I think this is one of my biggest strengths, yet greatest weaknesses, I care too much about other people).
Current plans are to get my driver's license, a job, and finish college. If I can start transitioning before then, then I will, otherwise I am just trying not to worry about it too much(have made an appointment with my doctor a few times now, either have chickened out or gotten sick each time
).
So yeah.. Sorry if that was long, and for creating a new account, just didn't really occur to me until now that it wouldn't be too hard for someone to just google my other name and find my account here pretty fast.
