Great buy Ellie and I hope you turn the suitcase quickly. And OMG on the last item. Are you going to try selling it on ebay too? Too funny.

Hugs,
   Laurie

Quote from: Roll on May 12, 2018, 05:03:03 PM
Second, the disturbing. Ok, so, I'm trying to be mature. But... this was a little much. In one of the deep pockets, I found something the seller missed. Now. Remember, this is at the estate sale of a deceased elderly woman and that I made this discovery surrounded by my family all ogling the suitcase. ... In summary, anyone want to buy some vintage sex lube?

Jesus! 
Well old ladies can have sex too, don't they! Oh that cracked me up!

And... so happy for youuuuuuu!!!!!! Every time I see a new pic of you and a post it puts a smile on my face  !!! Great progress! You seem happier & happier...!!!

And the job offer: just WOW!!!!!!!!!! Now like others have said, don't talk yourself down, okay? They aren't hiring you out of pity you know.......! So just don't blow this opportunity by telling them how much you suck etc. okay!!! DON'T!!!!! I know it's terrifying - for sure! - and it's okay to tell them you haven't done something like this before etc. But don't make it sound like 'I'm sorry but you must've made a mistake...! I'm not erm....' etc. Damn, girl, you know how to do this!!!!! You just said yourself you're better than the regular IT staff there!!!!!!!!!!!

Remember just bcos this is a new thing/opportunity, doesn't mean you'll suck at it,  . Instead: DO THIS!!!!!!!!! And do your everything to get this job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You already know you're able to do it, otherwise you wouldn't consider it. Remember everyone feels the same with a new job at hand...! Not just you. That is normal=means you want to do a good job. Just go for it!!!!!!!

Every job you'll get is gonna be a 'new one' for the first time.....! Do this. And once it's done you'll feel GREAT about yourself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Quote from: Laurie on May 12, 2018, 05:12:09 PM
Great buy Ellie and I hope you turn the suitcase quickly. And OMG on the last item. Are you going to try selling it on ebay too? Too funny.

Hugs,
   Laurie

Maybe donate? 

Whew, finally caught up.  So a few random thoughts Elle.
Damn girl, you are killing it in the transition department.  Really, I mean that you seem to be blossoming into your true self and I see a confidence that says you feel it too.  You are finally you.  Keep that streak going despite the occasional down day.
Job!  Don't underestimate your skills.  you already have made a judgement about the existing It dept. and you know you are better than they are.  Get the gig and like transitioning, kill it too.  soon enough you will be in demand, write your own ticket and pick your jobs.  Money in the bank and time off as you want.  That is the life.
I am a treasure hunter.  Thrift store, estate sales, dumpsters, side of the road.  As soon as you said vintage Brighton, I was soooo jealous.  But I have found my share over time.  Around Xmas I picked up a full living room set 50s - 60s era Paul Frankl "Square Pretzel" and a Tell City dining set.  All for $700.  I got lucky but love both styles and always wanted a big round dining room table. Full boat retail could bring in $4K.  May have to sell it for the same reasons you are giving up the Brighton.  Then I have a tub full of vintage purses.  OMG probably 2 tubs. 
Love your posts and seeing the metamorphosis.

Hi Ellie!

I have really enjoyed reading this. I love your sense of humor and the way you look at things. You have come such a long way in such a short amount of time. It is incredible! It becomes very apparent when you read through six months worth of updates over a couple of days. So many milestones. You are most definitely rocking this whole thing. I will be a regular reader from now on!


xoxoxo
Alyssa

You made me a bit curious about my original posts, because I've honestly forgotten most of them it has been so long. Brought back the memories right away, but... oh my god the picture I posted on page 2.

A sort of quick before and after...

Early November, roughly 1 month pre HRT:


Now (mid-ish May), roughly(only!) 5 months on HRT:


Cheeks and jawline definitely changed. (This is like minimal weight loss as well since then. Really only difference is HRT.)

Awesome finds.... mostly. 😁
Isn't hrt amazing? You're only going to get prettier as time goes on!

Yes! I can absolutely see the difference!


xoxoxo
Alyssa

Cute, as always  !

Jeez. The hits keep on coming! One of the remaining 4 people I had to come out to contacted me this morning before I could contact them! It was my aunt, my mom's oldest brother's wife. My mom's brother passed away not long before she did, Alzheimer's related accident he never recovered from, and his wife has always been my mom's role model. When she was a kid, my aunt was just enough older (maybe 10 years or so) that she was always the cool college girl that my mom looked up to. She meant a ton to my mom over the years, and has been one of the handful of people in my extended family I genuinely love. I'll refer to her as Aunt D.

After I came out to my other aunt, Aunt P, a few months ago (my mom's step sister), I had said then if she wanted to talk about it with anyone to feel free, I'm not hiding. I meant to Aunt D that I heard from today immediately after, but my stress with class projects got in the way. Well, eventually I guess they did talk.

So this morning I received a wonderful email from Aunt D, basically telling me that shes happy for me, that she accepts me, etc.! She also told me she and her daughter (I think, I am actually blanking now who she said exactly) found a bunch of really old family photos of my mom, going back over half a century it sounded like. She's going to send them to me!

What's funny, is that with today being mother's day my thoughts had already drifted in Aunt D's direction for a different reason. I miss my mom very much, and while I wish she were here... Well, I know she wouldn't want me to be depressed and wallow about it, and instead use this day to celebrate life not mourn her. So I do. As such, I was in a bit of a wistful frame of mind. I began thinking about my mom, but then shifted a bit and began thinking about her mom in turn. I never met my grandmother. Most people in my extended family didn't have the chance, she passed away when my mom was 16. With my mom and her older brother gone, of the siblings that just leaves the middle brother who... well... I dunno, I won't go into that really, but I will say at the very least I feel like I would prefer a woman's perspective of my grandmother, if that makes sense. Aside from him, the only other person who would have been old enough and around when my grandmother was alive would be my Aunt D possibly. I believe she and my uncle married before my grandmother died. So my train of thought went from my mom, to my grandmother, to my Aunt D, both for what I wanted to speak to her about as well as for what she might be able to tell me about my grandmother.

I truly regret not being able to know my mom's parents. My dad's parents were a bit different, and while I'm sure they loved me I don't feel like there was anything but a familial connection there. I had a hard time relating, and because of my dad's family we were the only ones that didn't live in a small area centered on a mountain around his parents (not joking, it was more than a little backwoodsy) we were often excluded by logistics. And they never reached out and visited us. They literally drove down the 8 hour trip one time in my entire life. With no warning. We weren't home for a minute getting lunch, they rang the doorbell, and when no one answered... got in their car and drove back home 8 hours away. *Sigh*... Anyway, I'd heard stories about my mom's parents (my grandfather also died before I was born, though my older brother knew him as a young child and of course as the step-Aunt P shows, he remarried prior to dying) and in those stories I saw where I fit in so much more than I did with my dad's side. (And honestly, I hadn't seen much in the rest of my mom's side either.) With my depression mostly gone and my renewed vigor, I now have the urge to learn more about them in a way I was never driven to before, my grandmother in particular.

My gosh Ellie, good for you. Grasp life with both hands and PULL. I know my family back to (not personally, might be old but not that old!!) great grand parents.

Your Aunt D initiating that with you is so so cool Ellie! I think it is perfect that she chose Mother's Day, a day when your thoughts would likely be heavily focused on your mom, to make that connection with you.


xoxoxo
Alyssa

Cherry chapstick!  Gotta love it.  I agree, it's amazing what people don't notice until AFTER you come out to them.
My ears have been pierced for a few weeks, I have been shaving for months and have been growing out my hair and nails for a while, but I'm still presenting as male-ish.

The first thing EVERY person I have come out to so far has said is, "You have REALLY Nice nails!"  As if they just suddenly appeared when I came out! LOL!

Talked to my Aunt D for an hour on the phone just now. Truly wonderful woman. She's 85 but still 100% sharp as ever. Found a bit of interesting news from her too. I knew that one of her granddaughters (that would be... uhh... my second cousin? Wait, maybe actually her great grandaughter/my third cousin) had come out as a lesbian years ago. What I didn't know is that she actually identifies as non-binary too! (Though as far as I'm aware, still uses female pronouns it seems.) So apparently, I'm not alone in the family! I'm not sure I ever met her, maybe when she was a really little kid if not an infant. To make things even a bit more interconnected, she actually shares my mother's first name and the descending is such that her last name is my mom's family/maiden name. So basically, middle name aside, she has the exact same name as my mom. (The name, Anna, along with the middle name I chose of Margaret being the two big feminine family names, with tons of variations. My mom being Anna Margaret and getting both.)

Oh, so cool, reconnecting with your relatives, !!!!!

Pretty hard to keep up with all that without knowing them personally - you have quite a family!

So... three to go, huh  ?

It's absolutely GREAT you feel so good and able to connect!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You have some pretty awesome family Ellie.  I'm so glad everyone has been so accepting.  Also, great find on the suitcase.  Next thing you know you are going to have your own reality show where you go to estate sales and find cool stuff.

Wow. Well, today sure was a roller coaster. Had my 4th laser, and again was hitching a ride with my dad about an hour and a half north to it, and after dropping him off I was going to take the car and spend some time in the area. So we get up there around 9. I head off and grab some breakfast at a place called the Omelette Cafe, small chain that was really, really good. Never eaten there before, but I ordered chicken and waffles. Never actually ordered chicken and waffles before. I'm not sure the usual procedure eating them, but I just ate them entirely separate, but both were delicious. Seriously, top of the line waffle. Next door was a thrift shop that I was curious about, so went in. It was really, really nice. Like they don't accept low quality items at all, it was more like a vintage/antique store than a thrift shop. I knew I couldn't really return clothes that didn't fit there, so I went ahead and came out to the lady and asked if it would be okay if I tried on women's clothes. She was totally cool with it, so YAY! I actually tried some stuff on, and got two button ups that actually fit for a change that I really liked that one at least was actually brand new, the other might as well have been. From there I went over to a coin shop I had looked up before coming to try to sell a texas bicentennial half dollar I found in my random stuff. Price is usually around 290-390 at auction. (This was graded and everything.) I was expecting to get like 100 for it tops, stores have to make money, but the reviews said the guy is known for his generous buying prices and they weren't kidding, he gave me a full 275 for it! So that was just a huge plus. On the way out I grabbed some absolutely gorgeous earrings, gold and silver with... uhhh, wasn't zirconia but something similar, I forget. But they look so nice, only $20.

This is where the bad kicks in. So on the way to the shop, it had started to rain. Well, someone basically pulled into the road right into the side of my car, like he was going to ram me from the side like in a movie and wasn't showing any sign of stopping (and did not). I had to swerve into the other lane, thank god it was clear, to avoid him. Traffic was not moving fast, visibility was not bad, this person was just 100% careless. That did not make me happy.

The worse came when I left the coin shop to go to TJ Maxx. So it's that type of area where everything connects via the highway, so you have to get on and off it constantly. Well, at one point I was surrounded on the left, front, and back by huge semis. like literally no room to breathe. And the rain comes. A downpour like I've never seen outside of a hurricane. It was so thick and heavy, visibility was virtually zero. It was like driving through a perpetual waterfall. I have never seen anything like it. I was absolutely terrified. So my exit was coming up, and while I really couldn't see it at all I knew I was not fit for those driving conditions surrounded by trucks like that. Unfortunately, I started to miss the turn because it was so bad, and had to cut across the dividing lines, and almost went straight into the concrete divider with trucks bearing down on me. Even off the highway it was terrifying, but luckily TJ Maxx was right there and I pulled into it. I just sat in my car trying to calm down, as terrified in that moment as I have ever been. When I say there was no visibility, I mean there was no visibility.

But then, the most wonderful thing happened. I went into TJ Maxx, because I still had time to kill before laser. I found a few good tops I liked, including some really good ones that are like 90 normally but were there for 20. After previous experiences I knew: I had to try them on before buying. So I nervously walk over to the dressing room. Now, at the local TJ Maxx, the dressing room is unmanned. I assumed would be the same way here. Nope, it's tightly controlled. I tried to sneak by sort of while the attendant isn't really paying attention just to avoid scrutiny, but I didn't realize they do the counting garments before hand thing. So. I know shes about to see I'm buying women's clothes so I just straight up ask what their transgender policy is. She looks at me in this way like "Are you really asking me that?" and just says simply: "Honey, what color do you bleed? Red or green?" Me: "Most of the time red." Her: "What color do I bleed?" Me: "I'm guessing red." Her: "We are all the same, that doesn't matter at all. Also, if I gave you any problems I'd be in huge trouble, our manager is transgender." We started talking a bit, but I realized I need to go try on clothes because I was getting close to appointment. So I start down to the men's dressing room... she says "The women's dressing rooms are the other way." I was just so floored I wanted to cry. I said something to the effect of "Oh god bless you for that, but I don't think I'm ready for that yet." Anyway, I went in and tried some clothes. Two were big successes, and I'm super happy with them. Went back out and just started talking to her again, and we just sort of kept talking even though I had originally intended to do a bit more shopping. She asked "What time is your appointment?" (I had told her what I was in town for) and I said "Noon.". She pointed out it was a quarter til, and I was shocked so much time had passed. So I said good bye and headed over to the register. The manager was in the back behind the register (but not manning one) and I would have never guess she was trans. She was a big woman, but had such a sweet voice, but trans would never have entered my mind. But the big thing was the woman at the register was on the line with the dressing room attendant and I heard her tell her "Oh, your girl's here now!". It was just... oh my god it was one of the best experiences of my life.

So fast forward a bit. Well, actually rewind a bit. A while back when I started selling comics I was keeping some cash in my step mother's safe for obvious reasons. Well, today I needed to add to it, so she went to get it and... it was gone. We searched all over, nothing. The weird thing was there was obviously stuff different in there from last time she used it, meaning my dad had went in it. Including an envelope with his name on it. We are both freaking out, it was a ton of money. Digging through places it might have fallen, counting out extra loose cash, trying to think who had been around and might have gotten into it (but nothing else was really missing). Well, turns out apparently my dad can't read and doesn't pay attention. We had roofing work done recently, and my dad just reached in, grabbed an envelope and ripped it open to pay the roofer. ... And he took mine, not his. The bad thing is I don't know exactly how much was in there, and he did something with the envelope that had the amount written on it too. Soooooo..... irritating. My step mother is just furious at him. ;x

So yeah. I sold a coin. Made some new friends. Got four nice tops. Almost died twice. Also got a beautiful pair of earrings. Have to sort out the fallout of my dad's carelessness. And had two great meals.

OH! And while it was shipped so doesn't really count: I also got in my first purse and women's pajamas today!

YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS?! FIVE MONTH UPDATE TIME!!!!!

Just... Wow. Five months. Unbelievable. I am getting so close to that magic half year it is staggering to me.

Anywho...

HRT Related
- My E and T levels are responding extremely well to low doses of meds as I've mentioned previously. Way higher than typical. Hormones like me apparently!
- Body hair is definitely way, way down and growing slower still.
- My figure has changed slightly, my sister confirmed it wasn't just my imagination.
- As the previous before and after pictures up above show, face is definitely getting some changes. It's always subtle of course.
- Booooooooooooooooooooooobs. They have continued to grow. It's hard to say what is being still overweight, and the shape is somewhere between moob and boob at this point, but they are at least good sized As.
- As always... the sexual stuff is awkward but... for science. The good nipple sensitivity is reading its head in spades. See my other recent thread about that for more info. :X Soooooooo yeah. Otherwise, everything still seems perfectly functional, but that need is almost non existent now.

Not explicitly HRT Related
- I am way more open in public. Still not presenting publicly, but I wear women's shoes, underwear, socks, hat, watch, and of course have the earrings at all times. Basically just shirt and pants are male clothes, and even then I keep it super generic. Plus my trans pin!
- Fourth laser on beard done today. YAY! I'm getting amazing results, laser lady is really pleased with my results.
- As mentioned before, transplants scheduled June 8th. So I will be hitting end of recovery for it around  6 month mark!
- (A bad one.) Frickin' weight. It's just stuck. If anything I put back on a few pounds (but nothing dramatic, lot of fluctuation between 205-215 still.

You have a lot of good things happening. Weight is a tough one for many of us. Keep at it and you will figure out what works.

Hi, Ellie

Quote from: Roll on May 15, 2018, 07:38:57 PM
On the way out I grabbed some absolutely gorgeous earrings, gold and silver with... uhhh, wasn't zirconia but something similar, I forget.

Are you quite sure?
(#^.^#)