Quote from: Jessica on May 14, 2018, 07:13:32 PM
Purring cats are better than the Honey Badgers that @Michelle_P sets upon @Laurie.

I used to have a rescue three legged cat called tripod. I'm really a dog person though, my German Shepherd was the best friend I ever had, I really miss her. She didn't give a hoot if I was trans or not and gave the best wet noses.

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie.

I'm just back from my first post autism diagnosis session. I learned and understood more in five minutes about lifetime of struggle and confusion than I have in a lifetime of struggle and confusion
I had my relief moment, my brain is just wired differently epiphany, my conformation, my did you know they make special weighted blankets for people like me? moment, you don't know how much of a relief it is to hear that.

So feeling a little more positive if not a bit washed out from the past few days. I think I've been through every emotion and probably invented a few more along the way. I think it's going to be o.k. I can stop beating myself up or putting myself down when I find things challenging. Add being transgender to the mix and that's my world, my lot in life and I wouldn't have it any other way.

It's amazing what a little support can do, thanks girls

I'm out running again which will do me no end of good, even if my muscles are grumbling a bit today, but it's a healthy satisfying grumble that reminds me I got off my sorry a$$.

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

Wonderful, Sadie!

And I think it's going to be OK, too.  You are definitely one of us, the strong, resilient folks who can bounce back from these bad places. 

Enjoy your run.  Even the aches and sore bits remind us that we are truely ALIVE!

With love and respect,
Michelle

Hi Sadie,

  Well lady, it sounds as though you are getting a grip on life again and that session helped to do it. Good girl! Good luck with the fitness. Wow 50 miles running?? I cannot run a mile any more. Heck I've started using an Albuterol inhaler before going on my walk. I decided to try it not too long ago and have found it does help me on these walks. I huff and puff less when I use it compared to when I don't. I'm afraid trying to run any distance will kill me. I have emphysema in the upper lobes ant the bottoms of the lower lobes have collapsed some due to insufficient use for too long. I suppose 3 1/2 decades of smoking hasn't help either.
  I am glad you are still able to do the running. I am glad to see you brightening up some. Keep it up, there really are bright things in our lives.

Hugs,
  Laurie

Hi Sadie, I'm happy you are getting off your sorry a$$.  Exercise can be a gateway to life.  It makes you aware that you're alive, pain is part of it as well as the joy of feeling like your doing something.

Hugs and smiles, Jess

Quote from: Shy on May 03, 2017, 12:00:47 PM
Found my go to beauty salon today after a lot of searching around and feeling awkward:)

Spent the afternoon looking through wigs and trying on different styles. It was quite emotional for me being the first time I've seen my self with hair in 40 years.
The staff were amazing with me, I came out feeling another box has been ticked. They are happy to help me with my transition and get me looking my best for the upcoming gender clinic appointments. I felt right at home and accepted,
so a good day for me

Peace and love and all that good stuff

Sadie

Fantastic good on you. Doing these kinds of things is really difficult but the amount of satisfaction you get is incredible Well done onwards and upwards to the Gender Clinic


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Quote from: Laurie on May 03, 2017, 01:03:12 PM
  Hi Sadie,

I still can't bring myself to do something like that. Keep it up and you'll leave me gasping for breath in your dust.

   I did look online again for a place to inquire about electrolysis and once again I find I have only one option fairly close without going into Portland. I've even bookmarked the site, have a shortcut on my desktop to the address and phone number, and haven't called them yet. I am leery about it as I can't really find any reviews or ratings. The site has little actual information on it except the tech does it by appointment only and is board certified. No menu of services, nor any pricing info.
  Again I find myself disappointed with the lack of resources available in and around Portland.

  Good for you Sadie. Keep on truckin.

  Hugs,
   laurie

Didn't we start somewhere like this...something about a makeover lol



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Quote from: Michelle_P on May 15, 2018, 04:23:50 PM
Wonderful, Sadie!

And I think it's going to be OK, too.  You are definitely one of us, the strong, resilient folks who can bounce back from these bad places. 

Enjoy your run.  Even the aches and sore bits remind us that we are truely ALIVE!

With love and respect,
Michelle

Thank you Michelle,

It's been a bit of a mad year for me, I think I can exhale for a while now and start planning for the future. Something I couldn't say even a few days ago. A whole chunk of my life makes sense now, why I've struggled so much. I'm autistic, even though I was diagnosed over a year ago It didn't really know what it meant. I'm not a failure and I can finally forgive myself for not matching up to societies expectations.
Still got a lot to discover, but I'm on my way. They have reserved me a place In the women group when I've done with the short eight week course. They had a little chat with the ladies about having a trans women join the group and they were all 100% positive and thought it was the right place for me . It is scary though, I'm not socialised at all for reason I now have answers for.
My fear of social groups isn't going to go away, there's no cure but I can learn to manage it with the right insight and support. It's going to take time to find my place, it's going to be challenging, so one step at a time but at least I don't so isolated any more.

I hope you are well and the Honey Badgers are behaving, when I settle a bit I'll catch up with everyone.

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

Quote from: Laurie on May 16, 2018, 12:47:30 AM
Hi Sadie,

  Well lady, it sounds as though you are getting a grip on life again and that session helped to do it. Good girl! Good luck with the fitness. Wow 50 miles running?? I cannot run a mile any more. Heck I've started using an Albuterol inhaler before going on my walk. I decided to try it not too long ago and have found it does help me on these walks. I huff and puff less when I use it compared to when I don't. I'm afraid trying to run any distance will kill me. I have emphysema in the upper lobes ant the bottoms of the lower lobes have collapsed some due to insufficient use for too long. I suppose 3 1/2 decades of smoking hasn't help either.
  I am glad you are still able to do the running. I am glad to see you brightening up some. Keep it up, there really are bright things in our lives.

Hugs,
  Laurie

Hi Laurie

It's not the distance, it's the intention. 50miles or a walk in the park makes no difference. I would never dream of driving the distances you do on you're road trips, I just can't comprehend that. So it's all relative, the important thing is that we feed our souls with the good stuff

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

Quote from: Jessica on May 16, 2018, 01:06:56 AM
Hi Sadie, I'm happy you are getting off your sorry a$$.  Exercise can be a gateway to life.  It makes you aware that you're alive, pain is part of it as well as the joy of feeling like your doing something.

Hugs and smiles, Jess

Yes, running is my passion. I lost my focus last year with coming out and all the energy it takes. Plus getting and autism diagnosis at the same time. It was all a bit of a whirlwind.
It's time to get back on the horse again, I miss the hills. I think I'm at the point in my transition where gender isn't so much of an issue now, not to say that I don't struggle, it just doesn't consume my every waking thought. A lot of the fear has dissipated, my routines have changed.
Haven't quite found my style yet. I mentioned to Cindy the other day I struggled with clothes but I think a lot of that is an autistic response. I like to feel covered up and most ladies clothes are more revealing. Some colours and patterns can overwhelm me, as does the act of clothes shopping. Just too much sensory feedback. I'm slowly getting there though. I seem to pass o.k.

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

Quote from: ElizabethK on May 16, 2018, 01:25:46 AM
Fantastic good on you. Doing these kinds of things is really difficult but the amount of satisfaction you get is incredible Well done onwards and upwards to the Gender Clinic


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Wow Liz, that's a blast from the past. You got in a time machine or something
Makeovers are so last year. But you're right it's nice to revisit and see how far we've all come.
Still waiting for the Gender Clinic though, but I'm o.k. with it. I'm already living life as Sadie, from this point onwards everything else is a bonus.
The roller coaster hasn't stopped yet but at least I'm not barfing any more, even if the big drops can be scary at times.
What a life we lead, no one can accuse us girls of being boring. Would I buy another ticket? In a heartbeat

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

...but at least I am not barfing anymore.   LOL  Progress!!  You go girl!!  We are all on a journey and you have some limitations that I don't have and I find strength in you perseverance. Do you needs, find yor place, be true yourself. 
One day it will all make sense and you will find peace.
Julie
or maybe Erica or Emilie.  I am liking Emilie.

Thanks Julie (Emilie maybe).

I've always liked the name Emilie. Take your time, with me it took a while and then one day I woke up and I was Sadie. It just felt right but I couldn't explain why.

My brain is just wired differently, most wouldn't know I have challenges as autistic women are really good at social masking. It's why it took them 57years for me to get a diagnosis and is a very female trait.

I'm glad I started sharing my un-edited story here though. The majority of trans folk can relate to hiding, not wanting society to see that you're different. The fear of stigma is very real, at least for me it has been. So to feel happy I have to be myself, be true to myself like you mention. I am an autistic transgender woman and wouldn't have it any other way.

Have and awesome day

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

I can relate as being slightly dyslexic means my brain is wired up different as well . Stuff is black or white, yes or no and this makes me say or do things without thinking them through.

Quote from: Shy on May 16, 2018, 02:54:21 AM

....Still waiting for the Gender Clinic though, but I'm o.k. with it. I'm already living life as Sadie, from this point onwards everything else is a bonus.....


Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

You are doing the most important thing...living as your authentic self. That alone is further than many will ever get. Hope you get your clinic appoint soon so you can keep moving forward.

Take Care

Liz

Quote from: ElizabethK on May 18, 2018, 05:32:46 PM
You are doing the most important thing...living as your authentic self. That alone is further than many will ever get. Hope you get your clinic appoint soon so you can keep moving forward.

Take Care

Liz

It's as authentic as I can be Liz without access to any kind of support. Sometimes I wonder if it would have been better to hold back but truth be told after I came out that just wasn't an option any more. Sadie's here to stay for better or worse and everything in-between. It's a relief just not to have to hide anymore. I'm ready, it's time for people to get to know the real me.

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

Quote from: davina61 on May 18, 2018, 03:22:36 PM
I can relate as being slightly dyslexic means my brain is wired up different as well . Stuff is black or white, yes or no and this makes me say or do things without thinking them through.

Yes, I have a trans dyslexic friend, nope make that two now . We all experience the world differently, every last one of us. 

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

It's been quite a good few days for me.

I was told yesterday that my father told his sister about me. I haven't seen my aunt in forty years but it was just nice to know he had reached a point where he can talk freely to someone about trans issue.
He was raised old school right wing so I know how much of a challenge it has been for him. He even hugged me the other day, and it was a genuine hug. He's the last person I thought would understand and the first to reach out to me.

Had a session at the autistic group today, still one to one, but apparently the ladies are looking forward to meeting me when I've finished and eight week induction into this crazy world I find myself in.
Of course the prospect ls terrifying for me, mainly because I've struggled with groups in the past. At least I can be myself now, it's Sadie they'll all get to know. I just hope I'm sensitive to their needs as I still have a lot to learn about ASD.

Off to the dentist tomorrow, I came out to them a year ago this time they get to see the real me. just hope I don't have a wig malfunction.

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

Back from the dentists and got a clean bill of health for me chomper's

My old dentist had apparently left so I had to come out all over again to a replacement with the most perfect smile.
This time I had it placed on record that I was Sadie May and was here to stay!  It's been a long time since I'd been dead named, it really felt odd, but they weren't to know and just read off the screen in front of them. They were all very sweet and made me feel comfortable, well as comfortable as you can feel in a dentist chair

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Stuff

Quote from: Shy on May 23, 2018, 12:33:13 PM
Back from the dentists and got a clean bill of health for me chomper's

My old dentist had apparently left so I had to come out all over again to a replacement with the most perfect smile.
This time I had it placed on record that I was Sadie May and was here to stay!  It's been a long time since I'd been dead named, it really felt odd, but they weren't to know and just read off the screen in front of them. They were all very sweet and made me feel comfortable, well as comfortable as you can feel in a dentist chair

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Stuff

Sadie:   That is wonderful that the record at your Dentist's office has been changed to reflect the "new you"...  I can attest that it is such a terrific and emotional feeling when names and pronouns and records are all finally in order!!!

Ahhhh, the beloved Dentist's of the world....  painless dentistry, what a lie!!!
If you have been following my thread, you might have read that in some my early April reply posts when I first went to my new Dentist since my relocation (as a Full Time woman to my new town)  I had not made any announcements to anyone including my Dentist about my male past.   When I was getting my teeth cleaned by the Dental Hygienist, she noticed from looking at my teeth that I was born as a male.....   well, to make a long story short, at least shorter than in my thread, my Dental Hygienist is now my very lovely Female Suitor #4  
Who would have known that my teeth would "out" me?

Please keep updating, I much enjoy following your adventures.
Hugs,
Danielle