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I'm not gay or bi, I'm transgender (with poll)

Started by amandam, May 12, 2018, 11:45:05 AM

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0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Do you agree?

Yes, I am transgender too, those labels mean nothing to us, we are different
23 (76.7%)
No, you are bi/gay, you silly goose
3 (10%)
I'm not sure, it's very difficult to sort this out
4 (13.3%)

Total Members Voted: 30

amandam

Interesting answers!  I don't consider myself completely male or female. I might be female but still in therapy, so don't know yet.

If I'm not completely male, there's no way a sexual act with a man can be a gay/bi act. A gay/bi act assumes both parties are male. I guess you could make that case if you look in my pants. But, if we're looking at our minds, we have to judge ourselves based on what we find there, not what body it's in.

So there is our new slogan, "Stop looking in my pants!".  :D
Out of the closet to family 4-2019
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Shy

I like to believe we all have our own truths, I found out mine the difficult way after a failed marriage trying to be something I'm not. When the plumbing doesn't work as expected you soon discover you're sexuality.
Turns out I'm straight female but am quite content being asexual these days unless the right guy sweeps me off my feet.
I would like the security of a loving man's embrace, so never say never it may happen one day but definitely need to sort the plumbing out first ;D

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie
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MaryT

Quote from: amandam on May 12, 2018, 11:45:05 AM
I'm transgender, I'm not bi or gay. I like women. I also sometimes like men. I look at all kinds of porn but cannot enjoy man-on-man porn. It does nothing for me. Also, if I think of me with a man it's always "me as a woman". With women, I can be either a man or woman. Therefore, there is something else going on here.

Since my brain is at least 50% female, I am at least bi-gendered! That means half my personality is female. The female part of me also has a sexuality, it's not just emotions, or some other thing.

I was never a man attracted to men, I am a trans attracted to men. I'm also a trans attracted to women. The old labels of gay and bi don't apply to us. There I said it. We don't belong with the hets and we don't belong with the gays/bi. We are separate.

Flame on. :)

Quote from: amandam on May 13, 2018, 01:35:22 AM
Interesting answers!  I don't consider myself completely male or female. I might be female but still in therapy, so don't know yet.

If I'm not completely male, there's no way a sexual act with a man can be a gay/bi act. A gay/bi act assumes both parties are male. I guess you could make that case if you look in my pants. But, if we're looking at our minds, we have to judge ourselves based on what we find there, not what body it's in.

So there is our new slogan, "Stop looking in my pants!".  :D


I think that I see where you are coming from and I certainly like the slogan.  I didn't do the poll, though but I would have chosen "other" if it had been an option. 

Society insists on categorising people.  You are certainly trans.  There are categories besides gay, bi and straight, though, some more encompassing such as pan, queer and genderfluid.

If cis people must be categorised into straight, gay, bi, etc., I don't see why we trans people should escape, though.  We can be trans straight, trans gay, trans bi, trans pan or trans "none of the above".
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Donna

I like trans none of the above. I am me, I do it my way. I'm happily married to a wonderful woman that doesn't want a lesbian relationship. I don't want a relationship  sexually with anyone we are happy with this situation. She defends me and I support her to the ends on the planet. We are girlfriends and bitches and we love our cat fights because it keeps it real and honest. Nothing can be perfect 24/7 and that is fine.
So I am Trans and I am proud of it and the way I am doing it. Might be right or it might be wrong but it is my way and I'm happy with it. Labels or not. As far as I'm concerned I am female
December 2015 noticed strange feelings moving in
December 2016 started to understand what my body has been telling me all my life, started wearing a bra for comfort full time
Spiro and dutastricide 2017
Mid year 2017 Started dressing and going out shopping etc by myself
October T 14.8 / 456
Came out to my wife in December 2017
January 2018 dressing androgenes and still have face hair
Feb 2018 Dressing full time in female clothing out at work and to friends and family, clean shaven and make up
Living full time March 1 2018
March T 7.4 / 236
April 19th eligard injection, no more Testosterone
June 19th a brand new freshly trained HRT and transgender care doctor for me. Only a one day waiting list to become her patient 😍

[/
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Chloe

Being "trans" doesn't have to be so complicated.



I will remain in the shadows, perhaps forever, 'till the right 'body' comes along?
Do not relate to "LGB" at all!
(hope pic is ok? credit: Alice @ CDL)
"But it's no use now," thought poor Alice, "to pretend be two people!
"Why, there's hardly enough of me left to make one respectable person!"
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amandam

when i see pics like that, I want to be her. If I think of me as I am now, kissing him, I go ewww.
Out of the closet to family 4-2019
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DawnOday

Well spoken ladies. It was our minds that were affected. The little male traits I still have say heck no. But my female mind say's "what if"? I am really into intimacy not sex. Nothing is as pleasing to me than a warm hug and kind words. Snuggled up by the fireplace, drinking a warm beverage, and having a conversation about family. I am so thankful that I could finally relate to who I really am. While I don't have a female bone in my body, I do have the mind of one, which puts me in a much kinder, gentler place. I could not do it without the support of my wonderful wife.
Dawn Oday

It just feels right   :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_kiss: :icon_kiss: :icon_kiss:

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First indication I was different- 1956 kindergarten
First crossdress - Asked mother to dress me in sisters costumes  Age 7
First revelation - 1982 to my present wife
First time telling the truth in therapy June 15, 2016
Start HRT Aug 2016
First public appearance 5/15/17



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RobynD

Pansexual if i had to choose a label. Gender simply does not matter if i love the person, i love the person.


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Donna

Quote from: DawnOday on May 17, 2018, 02:20:54 PM
Well spoken ladies. It was our minds that were affected. The little male traits I still have say heck no. But my female mind say's "what if"? I am really into intimacy not sex. Nothing is as pleasing to me than a warm hug and kind words. Snuggled up by the fireplace, drinking a warm beverage, and having a conversation about family. I am so thankful that I could finally relate to who I really am. While I don't have a female bone in my body, I do have the mind of one, which puts me in a much kinder, gentler place. I could not do it without the support of my wonderful wife.

Exactly, now I don't have to say it. Hugs cuddles and true affection. That's the world to me
December 2015 noticed strange feelings moving in
December 2016 started to understand what my body has been telling me all my life, started wearing a bra for comfort full time
Spiro and dutastricide 2017
Mid year 2017 Started dressing and going out shopping etc by myself
October T 14.8 / 456
Came out to my wife in December 2017
January 2018 dressing androgenes and still have face hair
Feb 2018 Dressing full time in female clothing out at work and to friends and family, clean shaven and make up
Living full time March 1 2018
March T 7.4 / 236
April 19th eligard injection, no more Testosterone
June 19th a brand new freshly trained HRT and transgender care doctor for me. Only a one day waiting list to become her patient 😍

[/
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AJ

Quote from: Kiera on May 17, 2018, 04:54:03 AM
Being "trans" doesn't have to be so complicated.



I will remain in the shadows, perhaps forever, 'till the right 'body' comes along?
Do not relate to "LGB" at all!
(hope pic is ok? credit: Alice @ CDL)

Whenever I see a scene like this I am always the woman or wishing to be her.
It has always been that way, I just lived in denial of it.
AJ
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randim

Quote from: Kiera on May 17, 2018, 04:54:03 AM
Being "trans" doesn't have to be so complicated.



I will remain in the shadows, perhaps forever, 'till the right 'body' comes along?
Do not relate to "LGB" at all!
(hope pic is ok? credit: Alice @ CDL)

Goodness!  Where did I put my fan?
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pamelatransuk

Quote from: Cassandra B on May 12, 2018, 02:47:11 PM
I had to think about this for a few moments as I agree with a few things the OP says, such as we don't necessarily have much in common with the LGB community, the transgender community spans across the LGB spectrum while still having it's own unique spectrum. But, something about the stance presented strikes me as off, please understand I am not attacking anything posted. Willth that said, I think there is some confusion on terminology in thinking gender and sexuality are related, gender and sexuality have nothing to do with each other. Gender is in reference to being male or female, such as CIS female or CIS male, transgender males and females are across the gender spectrum from CIS males and females, it does not determine sexuality. Sexuality refers to whom you want to sleep with, the only time LGB comes in to play with the transgender community is if a trans person is attracted to the same or opposite gender.

What strikes me off, please understand I believe you are able to identify as you wish, but please understand that arguing that a transgender female, (using self as an example) attracted to females doesn't fall under the lesbian category because I once lived as a male, destroys the stance that trans women are women, trans men are men; even worse, it gives credibility to the opposing argument that we are just men in drag, pretending to be females. I may have lived my life as male but, I have always been female. This may sound like a petty statement, but our opposition will take every miss cue, word, or statement and beat us over the head with it to show we are not what we say we are.

Hello Cassandra B

I agree with entirely. Gender and Sexuality are separate although they are both interesting subjects of course.

This thread like others seems to show that the majority (as others have voted more on other threads) that the asexual and lesbian MTFs seem to outnumber the straight and bisexual MTFs.

Pamela


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pamelatransuk

Quote from: KathyLauren on May 12, 2018, 03:21:00 PM
I have only ever been attracted to women.  So when I thought I was male, I was a straight male.  Before I ever admitted to myself that I was trans, I knew that, if I could choose my sexual orientation, I would be a lesbian.  (How you can have that thought and not be sure you are trans, I don't know, but that the way it was!  ??? )  Now that I know who I am, I am a transgender lesbian woman.  Or that's the way it feels.  In actuality, I am closer to asexual, and always have been, even pre-transition.

Hello again Kathy

You'll recall from previous threads that you are I are one on this (and probably always have been). Asexual with minor lesbian tendencies.

Hugs

Pamela

I did not vote here BTW


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SeptagonScars

I see my sexuality as somewhat separate from me being trans, and somewhat interlaced. I'm only into men and can only think of myself as a man whether I'm with another man sexually or doing anything non-sexual no matter who with. For romantic relationships I can only think of myself as a boyfriend/husband/etc.

I was born female but transitioned to male and happy with that so I'm trans. I see my gender as 100% male but my personality as androgynous. I see myself as a man only attracted to other men. That makes me easily latch on to the label gay, in addition to trans.

I can enjoy all sorts of porn except from lesbian porn, so maybe I'm similar to you on that point, OP. When I watch straight porn though, I imagine myself taking the woman's place, but not like I am her. It's just me there instead of her, in my mind. But I thank goodness for the existence of gay ftm porn.

Whenever I've tried to imagine myself as a woman with a woman it makes me very uncomfortable. Trying to imagine myself as a man with a woman also makes me uncomfortable. My conclusion: I'm not into women. I thought I was bi for a long time before I realised I can't see myself with a woman.

For me, I firstly see myself as a man, simply. Then secondly I see myself as a gay man. Then that I'm trans is just an annoying descriptor I have to drag along with me whether I want to or not. I cannot answer your poll because that's an answer only you can find for yourself. And because my own perception is, I think, too different from yours for me to pick either option. But in my mind you're likely both trans and bi.

Perhaps it could help you if you'd ask yourself if you see yourself as either/any gender when you're alone and not in a sexual context. I think the relationship we have with ourselves should come first, and not the relationships we have with other people.
Mar. 2009 - came out as ftm
Nov. 2009 - changed my name to John
Mar. 2010 - diagnosed with GID
Aug. 2010 - started T, then stopped after 1 year
Aug. 2013 - started T again, kept taking it since
Mar. 2014 - top surgery
Dec. 2014 - legal gender marker changed to male
*
Jul. 2018 - came out as cis woman and began detransition
Sep. 2018 - stopped taking T and changed my name to Laura
Oct. 2018 - got new ID-card

Medical Detransition plans: breast reconstruction surgery, change legal gender back to female.
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Tessa James

Quote from: RobynD on May 17, 2018, 04:00:26 PM
Pansexual if i had to choose a label. Gender simply does not matter if i love the person, i love the person.

Thanks Robyn,

That is perfectly simple, succinct and is my truth too.  We can see that younger people are reinventing terms of endearment and worn out labels need not apply.  Just give love a chance.

Once again the shortcuts to understanding ourselves and one another can also short change real intimacy, opportunity and knowledge.  Assume less and accept more maybe? :-*
Open, out and evolving queer trans person forever with HRT support since March 13, 2013
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Amaki

Quote from: amandam on May 12, 2018, 11:45:05 AM
I'm transgender, I'm not bi or gay. I like women. I also sometimes like men. I look at all kinds of porn but cannot enjoy man-on-man porn. It does nothing for me. Also, if I think of me with a man it's always "me as a woman". With women, I can be either a man or woman. Therefore, there is something else going on here.

Since my brain is at least 50% female, I am at least bi-gendered! That means half my personality is female. The female part of me also has a sexuality, it's not just emotions, or some other thing.

I was never a man attracted to men, I am a trans attracted to men. I'm also a trans attracted to women. The old labels of gay and bi don't apply to us. There I said it. We don't belong with the hets and we don't belong with the gays/bi. We are separate.

Flame on. :)

I agree, I cant stand Gay porn, from time to time I do watch Lesbian porn. I am physically and mentally attracted to women. When I do think of straight porn I see myself as the women. Its not weird.   
If life is too short for what ifs, than way do they always strike at the worse times.

Most people are worried about burning bridges, but forget about the consistent fire that burns on the roads we walk

In the end we only regret the chances we didnt take. -Lewis Carroll

Feel free to call me Sophia Lee if you want

The journey may not be new but its a new journey.

16 Apr 2018 - Start of a new chapter
8 Jun 2018- VA is working with me to move forward
11 Jul 2018 - consultation with Psych doctor
14 Jul 2018 - Dad confronted me...
7 Aug 2018 - Started HRT
25 Oct 2018 - Started Speech Therapy
24 Apr 2019 - Official name is Sophia Lee Bell

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amandam

Ok, if I want to follow some of you and your logic of sexuality vs. gender, I could agree with the following.

Now that I've realized I'm transgender, I feel my bi-curiousness was not bisexuality, it was my suppressed inner woman with her own sexual needs and desires. So, I was never a bisexual man, but a bisexual woman.
Out of the closet to family 4-2019
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