More and more I am deserting the grunge master of my former life and embracing my vanity. I just hate not looking good not so in the dude days. Hey I waited soooo long and I don't have much time left to be all that I can be. No I'm not joining the Army. I am acknowledging how great it feels to be free enough to be the me I always knew was inside. I know I over do it a bit. But at the end of the day there is just one person to please and tag I'm it.

"Anyone else getting more vain as they transition?"

It would be completely impossible for me to be more vain. 

Quote from: Devlyn on June 08, 2018, 02:58:23 PM
"Anyone else getting more vain as they transition?"

It would be completely impossible for me to be more vain. 

Yes, I am maxed out.

Yup, vain here too.

I hear you and I agree with you, but I don't consider wanting to look good as "vain".

When I was trying to be a guy, I didn't pay a lot of attention to my appearance.  Not because I didn't want to, but because it wasn't allowed.  As a result of that upbringing, we treat looking like a slob as though it were normal.

Well, just as I am done with trying to be a guy, I am done with being a slob.  Now, I take pride in my appearance.  I like to look good, but I don't think it becomes "vain" until it interferes with social interactions.

I'm not sure if it's vanity or just trying to make the most of what you've got.  I have always cared about how I look but I guess these days I spend a lot more time on the prep work - partly in an attempt to blend in but more than that to more accurately portray on the outside how I feel within

Living as a guy I made no effort to look good because I quite simply didn't feel good. These days its the total opposite I'm ok with that.

I used to fall into the "not interested" group...As I progressed I found I had a real interest in how I appeared. I had never experienced the joy of being able to wear something that made me feel good. Now I just want to wear whatever makes me feel good.  I am now really quite particular about how I look and for the first time in my life I enjoy the whole process
  This from someone who was notorious for not caring at all and would live in black trackies and T shirt for most of their life...Am I vain? You betcha...and getting worse!! LOL [emoji23]


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Quote from: Devlyn on June 08, 2018, 02:58:23 PM
"Anyone else getting more vain as they transition?"

It would be completely impossible for me to be more vain. 

I'm in on this too. I pretty much hated my self most of my life and didn't care enough to take care of myself through my 20's and 30's. Now here I am 46 trying to makeup for all of those years and its going to cost a lot more. If I ever get there.

Hugs,
       Chelsea

totally...already calling myself a prisoner of vanity...it's not a bad thing.......till your wallet grows thin

although i do wonder......between vanity and a try hard...

I'm not getting vain but I'm maturing. Mostly, it's natural aging and being transgender is part or my life. I recognize the predominant (for lack of a better word) genders and I accept societal's views of each. Transitioning actually taught me the opposite of vanity and I'm having to look inward. I used to always be called sir in public and I would subconciously shrug it off. Now, I conciously try to shrug it off.

I think when I gain more confidence in myself I'll probably be more vain.

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Velvet jacket? Check. Holographic dress shoes? Check. Shimmery dress shirts? Check.

When people see me, I want them to think I am:

[ ] male [ ] female [X] awesome

Seriously, if I am going to go through the trouble of transitioning... If I had to suffer the first three decades of my life in the wrong body... If this decision is going to cost me everything I have... I deserve the clothes I want. At the very least. I'm trying to take the joy wherever I can find it.

As long as I'm not maxing the credit card, I see no harm. 

Quote from: blackcat on June 09, 2018, 04:56:27 PM
Velvet jacket? Check. Holographic dress shoes? Check. Shimmery dress shirts? Check.

When people see me, I want them to think I am:

[ ] male [ ] female [X] awesome

... If this decision is going to cost me everything I have...

Good point...for many of us it has been a costly decision so finally being able to express yourself the way you want is a small but important outcome [emoji3]


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Quote from: blackcat on June 09, 2018, 04:56:27 PM
Velvet jacket? Check. Holographic dress shoes? Check. Shimmery dress shirts? Check.

When people see me, I want them to think I am:

[ ] male [ ] female [X] awesome

Seriously, if I am going to go through the trouble of transitioning... If I had to suffer the first three decades of my life in the wrong body... If this decision is going to cost me everything I have... I deserve the clothes I want. At the very least. I'm trying to take the joy wherever I can find it.

As long as I'm not maxing the credit card, I see no harm. 

+1! That is beautiful. 

Quote from: Charlotte F on June 08, 2018, 04:45:18 PM
I'm not sure if it's vanity or just trying to make the most of what you've got.  I have always cared about how I look but I guess these days I spend a lot more time on the prep work - partly in an attempt to blend in but more than that to more accurately portray on the outside how I feel within

I can relate to these types of feelings; I've never been vain, but I always have taken care of myself.  And when I transitioned I wanted to blend in, and portray on the outside how I feel on the inside, so I've gone the extra mile to make it happen.

Ha, ha! As far as my soon-to-be-ex-wife is concerned, vanity is my sole motivation for transitioning.

For ages I fought feeling feminine tooth and nail. I was brought up to think it un-manly to care about my appearance. The grunge guy slob thing was a way of proving to everyone, including myself what a man I was. It also made me feel awful.

Now I take great care with my appearance. I don't think of it as vain though. It's more a matter of being true to my genuine self and being all that I can be now that I feel the freedom to do so.

I wouldn't necessarily call it vanity. In male mode, I don't really take an interest in how I look so much, but I do in female mode. I think it has to do with authenticity. I reject being male, so I don't care as much how I look. My wife asks why don't I take more interest in dressing nicer male as an outlet for GD, but she misses the point. It's about alignment.


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It's so unreal. I bought some lipstick the other day on Amazon that was discontinued, because I used it twenty years ago. So I paid over $20 for a
$7 tube. But it was worth it because I got so many compliments. When I went for my electrology appointment, Nanci talked me into getting my eyelashes curled, tinted and my brows shaped and tinted next time I come in. I am the same person that used to wait 5 years between new pairs of tennis shoes. I now have two pairs of mens shoes. 1 pair tennis shoes and one pair dress shoes. On the other side it won't be long til I purchase my fifth pair of ladies shoes.  My men's shoe wardrobe is worth maybe $100 bucks but I spent $200 on a custom pair of flats.

Oh yeah, I'm definitely in the same shoes 

When I have to present as a 'man' two things can happen. The first is that I just don't care and dress as a slob from my guy wardrobe which could fit in a suitcase. The second version is that I try to make my presentation a little more feminine but then I spend far too much time to try to balance it to not look too gay and in the end I sometimes revert to the slob version.

My mindset in these cases is usually like "If I cannot look like how I really want to look, why should I bother?"

The best version is when I can present as my true self and then I will sometimes spend hours trying to figure out the best thing to wear, the best way to style my hair and eliminating every possible visible body hair.

I have a big wardrobe full of women's clothes and a shoe cabinet full of various shoes, sandals, boots, from flat to high heel and I'm not full-time yet.

Edit: Even my guy wardrobe is made up of women's clothing, they are just not too feminine.