So... I've had blonde highlights dyed into my hair, that works better for fun colors (purple, etc.) and fades back to blonde a few weeks later.  I need to update my avatar photo from more than a year ago, that was before HRT and several surgeries. 

I stopped into a fast food restaurant, some guy rushed to get the door for me.  I'm not used to that, always smile and say thanks when that happens.  I picked up a quick lunch, sat down, he sat a couple tables away.  Based on body language I could tell he was nervous and thinking about striking up a conversation.  I pulled out my MacBook and started typing. 

And he said,
"Wow.  You know how to use a computer."
I looked over at him.  His face showed genuine amazement. 

I was too stunned to say anything other than "ah, yes I do." and went back to what I was doing. 
If I'd been quicker I should have said "is THAT what this is?!"

I didn't tell him I had designed the first multilingual web browser in 1993 and demonstrated it to 20,000 engineers at a software conference, simultaneously showing web sites in Japan, Korea and Taiwan from an operating system set to the English language - the first time this had been done.  Didn't have the heart to, he was already so amazed a female is able to comfortably navigate one of those computer thingies. 

Life can be interesting.

Are you sure he was being sexist and not just trying to start a conversation? Sometimes men 'pretend' to be super intrigued by something you're doing just to have a segway. Surely in 2018 no one is shocked that women can use computers? He must be living under a rock if so.

@Kendra
Dear Kendra.... forget about any sexist implications that had may or may not been a part of his either sincere amazement or feigned amazement.  Frankly you should feel very affirmed and very confident in your obviously convincing female presentation. 

I agree with what   @Ellement_of_Freedom   was thinking...  the guy was nervous and attempting to start a conversation with a beautiful woman that caught his eye.

Hmmm, I am thinking that you will soon be writing a thread telling us about all the wanna be Suitors that you will be turning away.
Thank you for sharing.
Hugs,
Danielle

LOL, Kendra, it doesn't get much more sexist than that.  I work in infosec and encounter that sort of thing often.  Those computer thingies are a man's world!!  ha!

Yes that was just flat out dumb.  If he was trying to hit on you, that was a weird way to do it.  Oh, but I forgot...guys can be so...

Judi

Quote from: Kendra on June 15, 2018, 02:29:34 PM
I didn't tell him I had designed the first multilingual web browser in 1993 and demonstrated it to 20,000 engineers at a software conference, simultaneously showing web sites in Japan, Korea and Taiwan from an operating system set to the English language - the first time this had been done.  Didn't have the heart to, he was already so amazed a female is able to comfortably navigate one of those computer thingies. 

Cello or Mosaic?

Mosaic - not the branded product, but went into source code used by a company that does windows. 

Yes, nervous men around women they think are attractive tend to say stupid things just to get them talking.

I wouldn't read dreaded patriarchal malice automatically into it. 

A long time ago men would always be surprised I played video games, especially if I was talking about a game they happened to know. "I can't believe you know X Y Z game". Or program. Or OS. Or had done a computing degree. Or whatever. Wasn't hostility, more child-like wonderment and happiness. Bless 'em.

I wasn't offended, just shocked.  Things I used to think of as abstract are real. 

Quote from: Kendra on June 15, 2018, 02:29:34 PM...
I stopped into a fast food restaurant, some guy rushed to get the door for me.  I'm not used to that, always smile and say thanks when that happens.  I picked up a quick lunch, sat down, he sat a couple tables away.  Based on body language I could tell he was nervous and thinking about striking up a conversation.  I pulled out my MacBook and started typing. 

And he said,
"Wow.  You know how to use a computer."
I looked over at him.  His face showed genuine amazement ...

---

another take, strictly from your account since visual cues mean a lot ... did you consider that maybe HE can't use one and is amazed when anyone can?

100%, he was hitting on you.

That was a really stupid thing to say to someone. It has to be one of the dumbest pick up lines.

Quote from: Faith on June 16, 2018, 02:09:00 PM

---

another take, strictly from your account since visual cues mean a lot ... did you consider that maybe HE can't use one and is amazed when anyone can?

I was thinking along these lines; maybe he only sees people using computers to browse the internet, and Kendra's lightning fast typing took him by surprise, and he was merely paying her a compliment.

Hey Kendra, good thing you didn't get the boob job yet. He might have been amazed then that you knew how to walk through the doorway. lol

He definitely was hitting on you, but done very poorly.  Maybe he was new to electronics, just came out of the boonies, or his words came out all tripped up after seeing a stunning woman that you are.
He probably has replayed it over and over wishing he had said something different.

Hugs and smile, Jess

That was nice he held the door for you. His way of starting a convo seemed a bit dorky, but who isn't once in a while?
If that's sexism, then aren't we all guilty..
It's very interesting socially in groups of people, men and women, cis, trans, lgb, etc. Just to see the dynamics

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So Kendra, just for fun, is there a pick up line that would have worked for you? Would it be highly technical?
Moni

How but, "Hey baby could you interpret my language?"  "Could you push my 'on' button?" Come on give, Kendra! lol

Hey, I've experienced people patronising me over my knowledge of computer science too. There was a point where I considered that a viable career choice...I don't intend to pick it back up unless academia/lecturing presents a need for it.

There are undoubtedly sexist undertones to what you describe and I'm sorry it happened/continues to happen, keep doing your thing.

anastasia x

Quote from: Kendra on June 15, 2018, 02:29:34 PM
I didn't tell him I had designed the first multilingual web browser in 1993 and demonstrated it to 20,000 engineers at a software conference, simultaneously showing web sites in Japan, Korea and Taiwan from an operating system set to the English language - the first time this had been done.  Didn't have the heart to, he was already so amazed a female is able to comfortably navigate one of those computer thingies. 

Good for you Kendra, I love stories like this and demonstrating first multillingual web browser to 20,000 engineers, awesome, I hate when men think I'm frivolous when it comes to computers.

He was definitely hitting on you, and you mention blonde highlights, he probably thought you were vulnerable and dumb, what is it with men and hair color, once upon a time I was burnett, then in later years I went blonde with blonde highlights and that's when it got worse, most men just think I'm a dumb blonde that know nothing about computers, very very stereotype views of women.

Thank you all for the comments and ideas.  Yeah I wasn't offended but I am sure finding the other side to be interesting so far.  I just need to have quick responses ready and loaded. 

Quote from: Rachel on June 16, 2018, 04:56:05 PM
100%, he was hitting on you.

That was a really stupid thing to say to someone. It has to be one of the dumbest pick up lines.

However dumb it may have been, you're still taking about him.  He must be on your mind.  Therefore he's 1/2 to having coffee with you.

Just sayin

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