I'm 54 now. I guess I/ you could say I technically started my transition right at puberty. I'll explain. It was when my body finally did start to grow hair at around 16 or 17, I immediately shaved it all off. In my mind I didn't even think girls were supposed to grow hair at all back then. So I shaved my legs, pubic area, chest, underarms, and anywhere I saw hair growing except my head. I shaved so much of my body that I used to get called a sissy nearly everyday in school. In fact I was known as such a sissy boy that the other boys would never pick me to play in the sports activities with them. Funny thing is, all those other boys hated me because they couldn't understand how I ended up with such gorgeous girlfriends being such a sissy boy lol. I just always knew I was really a girl, but you didn't say anything in that redneck part of the south I grew up in. So to conform with the times I chose to live my life as a male and do what this society has approved as the manly things to do. The dysphoria never went away though. In fact, not only has it not gone away ever, but it has worsened in the last year. After several failed marriages and my current one struggling, I realized that my real problem is that I need to and must be a girl. I just can't perform as the man anymore and that has caused our sexual relationship to struggle immensely. Honestly, don't get me wrong, I do still love the female body and find it very sexy. I should say I think I'm still sexually attracted to women. That is to say, when I see a sexy woman that catches my eye, I start staring intensely, but I'll be honest sometimes I'm not sure if I'm checking them out for me, or if it's really the fact that I just want to look like her. I've noticed I find myself more and more fantasizing about having sexual encounters with men, as that sexy woman of course hehe. And to be honest, that's been really confusing for me because I haven't even started hrt yet. The past year or so I decided that I needed to start my formal transition, so I started buying women's clothes, panties, and lingerie. I have been wearing only the women's panties exclusively for over a year now, and recently I started wearing the women's jeans and shorts out in public, even in man mode lol. I started seeing a therapists at the beginning of this year at 54. I was scheduled to start HRT already but delays with my doctor have pushed that back yet again. Hoping to start this Thursday at my next appointment with my therapists. Sorry about the long useless story but it's kind of relevant to what I feel is my actual starting point. I started unofficially transitioning at around 16 or 17 in my mind, but physically transitioning at 53 with clothing, and I would say now officially transitioning at 54 with therapy and meds to start within the next few days hopefully. That's my story and I'm sticking to it lol...
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