Changing The Way You Talk

Pronounce your words clearly: Men tend to mumble more than woman who tend to pronounce their words more precisely. Remember to pronounce very clearly, which will require larger lip movements, which in turn helps eliminate the tight-lipped male way of speaking.

Speak softly and slowly. Men tend to speak in a hard, staccato style, typically raising their voice to give keywords a strong emphasis. Women typically speak more slowly and softly.

Emphasize pronouns and other little words. Men tend to say what they consider unimportant words like articles (the, an, a, etc) and pronouns (he, she, they). Women see these words as relational and therefore important, so they tend to emphasize them.

Emphasize your feelings and points by changing pitch. Men typically emphasize what they consider important by raising the volume or loudness of what they say. Women tend to speak at the same volume all the time and emphasize their feelings or points by varying the pitch of their voice.

Talk about your thoughts and feelings. Men tend to talk more about actions and objects. Women tend to talk about thoughts and feelings.

Use more adjectives and adverbs. Men tend to think and feel in primary colors. However, to women the world is filled with nuances of being and perceiving. A man would likely describe a sky as "blue" or say "I was mad." A woman might describe the sky as "turquoise," "sapphire," "indigo" or any of the dozen shades men call "blue." Or, she might say, "I was . . . furious . . . angry . . .  incensed . . . indignant . . . or any of the dozen emotions men call mad."

Avoid verbal short-cuts. Forget hip expressions like "world-class" and other verbal shortcuts like "Coming to the game?" men tend to use them frequently, where as women tend to avoid tem in favor of better English. A woman might ask, "Do you feel like joining us at the soccer game this weekend?"

Gina 

Great advice, Gina. There's a lot of information, especially about the cliches men use. I have to speak up because I'm a soft spoken person anyway. There are many things I take from the woman's perspective because many things aren't black or white.

Gennee

If that's true, guess I'm not overly masculine.  Much too descriptive.

Very good point there Gennee. Unfortunately a lot of people see things as just black and white and they don't see the different shades. Jessi was just telling me that she alwasy enjoys listening to me talk because I'm always so descriptive. Not sure if it's because I'm a writer or if it's just my feminine side that comes out more?

Gina 

Quote from: Gina Taylor on March 23, 2008, 04:34:08 AM
Changing The Way You Talk
Pronounce your words clearly: Men tend to mumble more than woman who tend to pronounce their words more precisely. Remember to pronounce very clearly, which will require larger lip movements, which in turn helps eliminate the tight-lipped male way of speaking.

You've never heard my daughter speak...

I've not been known to describe the sky as anything other than blue, but I rarely say I'm just angry when there are other better adjectives to use. The funny thing is that my use of adjectives and adverbs was inspired by Edgar Allen Poe and H. P. Lovecraft. Both of them were known for their "sluggish" sexuality. I wonder if they weren't a bit TG, too.

For Poe that was more likely the drugs and booze, not TG.

Quote from: tekla on March 26, 2008, 03:49:48 PM
For Poe that was more likely the drugs and booze, not TG.

Good point.

I'm not sure I agree or that speaking softly is supported by studies.
The thing that is true is that women tend to emphasize through frequency changes
while men use changes in volume to emphasize.

But, from the many conversations I've been privy too, I would not say women speak softer.

As for stacatto, women tend to pause longer between words so in fact, leaving more space
for interuptions, men  tend to move from words to words which may leave a sense of
speaking faster when in fact they just are not leaving anybody interupt.
So women in fact speak those words faster, but on the whole, the spead
of men and women is the SAME.

Quote from: Keira on March 26, 2008, 11:17:49 PM

I'm not sure I agree or that speaking softly is supported by studies.
The thing that is true is that women tend to emphasize through frequency changes while men use changes in volume to emphasize.

But, from the many conversations I've been privy too, I would not say women speak softer.

As for stacatto, women tend to pause longer between words so in fact, leaving more space for interuptions, men  tend to move from words to words which may leave a sense of speaking faster when in fact they just are not leaving anybody interupt.So women in fact speak those words faster, but on the whole, the spead of men and women is the SAME.

That's a very intererting theory Keira, and I'll have to watch for it the next time I'm listening to a bunch of men talking as opposed to a bunch of women talking.

Gina