i am about 7 months on T at this point and have had some notable changes, enough that i pass with strangers almost 100% of the time--but not enough, apparently, for anyone at work (i have worked here for over 2 years now) to have said anything.  they all go on calling me "she", and i even have one coworker who has a habit of calling me "miss [insert name]" despite me having told her just my name is fine. 

i've been debating coming out at work for months now, pretty much ever since i started T, and still don't know what to do.  i have overheard some very discouraging things when the topic of trans people was brought up among my coworkers, and i have my suspicions about the reason i was laid off and not re-hired at my last job (same company, different location).  when i get to the point (assuming genetics have blessed me?) of actually having a visible amount of facial hair, having it known that i am not a "she" would be inevitable... but i'm not at that point yet, despite passing with strangers who were never told i was a "she" in the first place. 

i am hoping to move out soon, within less than 2 months.  i plan on transferring when that happens, so i'm wondering if it's even worth it to go through the stress and the risks of coming out at my current location.. or if i can hold off and just deal with it at my next one.  then i could bring it up from the beginning, and hopefully not start off being seen by everyone as "female" in the first place.  i'm just worried that, due to how far along i am, there will be more changes in that time and that i'll have to come out at my current workplace anyway.  but i have no idea how to do that, and asking around and googling similar experiences has yielded nothing useful so far.  most things are geared toward people working in offices, or anecdotal accounts of people who already had good relationships with their managers and/or at least one or two coworkers they trusted.  i don't really have that, and i work in retail so there's no simple "email to everyone" that can make the process easier/faster.  i have no idea how they handle this because to my knowledge, i'm the only trans person to ever work at this particular location (it's not very big or very old). 

i've been having so much anxiety over this that i had a panic attack at work and lost about 2 hours of time being unable to get anything done.  the worst part is, everyone knew about it and no one knew why.  they basically just think i'm crazy now, on top of thinking i'm "weird and quiet" and an "obvious lesbian".  i don't want to give them one more thing to talk about behind my back, nor do i want to ruin what little relationship i have with some of them and go back to square one being awkward and unpleasant knowing that my coworkers have something against me.  and i really, really, really am in no position to lose my job right now.  i need to hang on long enough to be able to transfer, so the risk of them deciding it's easier to let me go is not one i take lightly.  i need a steady income more now than i ever have, and a break in employment right now could be disastrous.  i have no reason to think my manager wouldn't be helpful or understanding, but i also have no reason to think they would.  i'm really lost and wondering if i should even bother at all.

would it be better to just wait and hope nobody gets suspicious enough to speak up in the meantime?  it's only 2 months, assuming all goes well.. though i can't even be guaranteed of a moving date yet.

Meat wagon,

You didn't say where you live/work and that will help predict the response you might. 

I'm 56, I'd been with the same conservative bank for +30 years before coming out. The "welcome" I got was dozens of "congratulations"  emails both from people I knew and those I've gotten to know.

It all depends upon the company and the people you work with.  There also MIGHT be laws protecting you.


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i live in NC, work at walmart.  laws and policies make little to no difference, though (not that we have protections specific to gender identity here anyway--and even if we did, i don't have the time or money to be making any legal cases of it); it will all come down to the people you work with/for in your particular store.  the company as a whole can have all the policies it wants, but if the managers at my store decide they want to get rid of me over this, they'll do so and there won't be anything i can do about it.  and as it is right now, it's impossible to tell how it will go.  transgender people are almost unheard of in my neighborhood, and opinions from what i've overheard range from "confused but tolerant" to downright hateful and aggressive.  even if the manager seemed understanding and supportive as per company policy, there's no accounting for their personal opinions which could easily impact my job.
so like i said before.. i have no idea what to expect, no way of reading their minds, and i'd be going in totally blind with nothing but the hope of being protected by an ultimately meaningless company policy.  my managers are relatively nice and willing to work with people on some things as long as they get their work done, but i am by no means on "friend" terms with them and i have no idea how far their tolerance actually goes.  it could easily go in *either* direction, so my question is whether it's worth the risk when i'm hoping (but not yet guaranteed) to be moved out sometime within the next two months. 
i have no intention of trying to "pass" as female just to keep up some charade for my coworkers/managers.  but since none of the changes i've experienced so far, despite me being read as male by the majority of strangers now, seem to have affected their perception of me as "female", i doubt any further changes within the next two months would even make a difference in that regard anyway.

update (sort of): still haven't said anything to anyone, still don't know whether it's worth it.  still don't know exactly when I'll be able to move out, now worrying it will take another two months to get anything done on this house.  progress on t is very slow, but passing with strangers is almost 100%.  no one at work has said or asked me anything.  it's very uncomfortable being called a female all the time while i don't even look or sound like one, much less identify as one.  managers and co-workers say things like "she" and "her" in front of customers who would otherwise have read me as male, and I just cringe and hope the customer wasn't paying that much attention to hear what they said.  .... but i am still scared of losing my job, especially when i don't have a date set for moving and thus can't even line up a transfer.
I also don't know if I'm mentally at a place where I can deal with being "the ->-bleeped-<-" at work even if I don't lose my job.