Hi everyone, tonight I have finally decided to begin my physical change into the woman that I have always been. Since forever I've been wondering and thinking to myself, "when am I finally going to look like my mom or like my aunts, what about like other girls?" I was born in the year 1994 and since then I've always known that I'm a woman in a hostile environment, and what's even worse, trapped inside this physically male body.
     When I was only a child, I would always play the role of the female when playing with friends. In kindergarten during recess I would pick flowers with the girls while the boys would play rough (they had a little fight club where the teachers couldn't see them  lol) and I would get teased for it. That's when I began to try and become manly and had success throughout the years, all throughout high school. During that whole time I always knew that I was lying to everyone else, but more regrettably, to myself. I began doing research online about my feelings in 2010 and that's when I figured out that I am really a woman,  I also realized that I could change my physical appearance. However I also realized that my family would never accept me if I tried to begin changing into my true physical appearance. And what's worse, I also figured out that I will not be able to physically get pregnant  to have children of my own. That's when I decided to be a man, but as the years are going by I feel like I have wasted so much time not beginning my transition. I am 24 years old and I have a very deep regret because I did not begin sooner, but hey it's better late than never right?
     I don't know where to begin my mtf transition, actually in a way I have already began. I'm currently working on my voice feminization even though I have a deep voice, I'm not going to let it stop me. I've changed my eating and workout habits to "feminizing" habits. I have also began to grow my hair and I am also doing a lot of feminization research. Part of the reason why I'm here tonight, officially beginning my transition, is for support, especially if I can have local support and friends, that would be awesome. I have so much more to type, so much to share, but I don't think it will all fit here lol
     I'm still in the closet and it's really scary to think about coming out to my family, they are not supportive of the LGBTQ, in fact they're anti-LGBTQ. I felt like I was alone up until recently, I have begun researching my feelings that I've always had again. I stumbled across this and other sites and decided to join. 

    Thank you all for taking the time to read my post, I look forward to your questions and comments, I'm off to bed now goodnight

P.S. How do I upload my picture?

@CuriousCat94x 
    Hello CuriousCat94x,    Thank you for introducing yourself.   
I am glad that you have become a member of Susan's Place and that you have shared your introductory posting with other members here on the Forums.
Wishing you a warm WELCOME to Susan's Place.
I am thinking that you may lots more questions and concerns, this is the right place for you to be to find out what others have done that may have been in your circumstances.  Be aware that there are a lot of members here that can identify with what you may be going through.

You will find this a safe and friendly place to share with others  and to read about others similar trials, tribulations, and successes.
It is nice that you had signed up so you can share with others and involve yourself with some give and take with other members.
When frustrated or if you have successes you can share it here if you wish and receive support from others and offer support to others.

***There is a very good chance that you might find that you will make some new friends here.
Please come in and continue to be involved at your own pace. 

Posted below are Important LINKS that will tell you about Susan's Place.  Included there is information about the site that will help you navigate around and best utilize the features here.   
Please look closely at the LINKS in RED, there are answers to many questions that new members ask.   

***Regarding your question about uploading your picture... see the LINKS in RED

Again, Welcome to Susan's Place.
Danielle


Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that all new members should be familiar with:

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By	Standard Terms & Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)	Cautionary Note
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Hi CuriosCat 

Welcome to Susan's Place    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M

Hi Curiouscat94x,
I really enjoyed reading your introduction. I admire your proactive approach at age 24. Im 49 years old and have used HRT since 2015. When I was 24 I had read the Jan Morris autobiography, I had researched the gender reassignment surgery of the time, my girlfriend had told me I really wanted to be a woman and yet the penny didn't drop. I didn't believe transition was possible. Now I'm deeply entrenched in family, career and financial responsibility. I'm very thankful for what I have in life but I wonder what could have been achieved then.
Wishing you the very best with everything. Be careful, look after yourself.
Kindest regards, Kirsten.

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Quote from: Kirsteneklund7 on July 02, 2018, 04:30:14 AM
Hi Curiouscat94x,
I really enjoyed reading your introduction. I admire your proactive approach at age 24. Im 49 years old and have used HRT since 2015. When I was 24 I had read the Jan Morris autobiography, I had researched the gender reassignment surgery of the time, my girlfriend had told me I really wanted to be a woman and yet the penny didn't drop. I didn't believe transition was possible. Now I'm deeply entrenched in family, career and financial responsibility. I'm very thankful for what I have in life but I wonder what could have been achieved then.
Wishing you the very best with everything. Be careful, look after yourself.
Kindest regards, Kirsten.

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Thank you Kirsten for your kind wishes.
     I will definitely read the Jane Morris biography, it sounds like something I need to read. It must have been very difficult for you to tell your family about your true self, how were you able to do it? I feel like it is something that I will never be able to do and yet I know that someday I will have to. Whether they will accept me for whom I have always been is difficult to say and I am very optimistic about it, but the reality is that I know how they feel towards people like me who "are in the wrong body". I feel like I will need to stealth transition and move out of town while I transition.
     It's crazy, but my ex-girlfriend told me the exact same thing, she told me that she felt like she was dating a woman and asked me if I am really a woman. She seems to support my decision to finally become 100% woman. However I do realize that it might be difficult or awkward for her, so I understand if she's not all there for me nor do I expect that of her.

Have a nice day Kirsten

Quote from: V M on July 02, 2018, 12:36:11 AM
Hi CuriosCat 

Welcome to Susan's Place    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M

Thank you V M, I am also glad that I decided to join. I really hope to meet many people like me here and that we can all have a good time here. So far it's going great, where exactly is the fun at? Where do you recommend I begin, there is so much information on this site, what about local gatherings, do those happen?

Hi Again CuriousCat94x,
The Jan Morris autobiography is called Conundrum - worth a read. Jenny Boylan - "Shes Not There" is Also Good. About talking to family about being trans - I took a steady- steady approach and let them digest bit by bit. My own personal revelation hit me like a ton of bricks when the distraction, anxiety and depression became too much.After seeing a psychiatrist and a psychologist(therapist) I started HRT. Once that crisis was stabilized I mentioned gently to family I had sought professional advice on an issue that had been bothering me for a while. This released the genie from the bottle and then family knew.

@Kirsteneklund7

Wow that sounds like a very good idea, I realize that it's never easy to take a giant leap, but taking it step by step and gaining momentum seems like the best way to make that jump. I myself am recovering from anxiety and depression, at first I thought that it was due to having to balance work and school, but I eventually figured out that it was because of Gender Dysphoria. I should really begin searching for the therapist and psychiatrist to begin my physical transition. I'm so exited for what is coming my way, even though I'm a broke college student I know that I will find a way to make my transition work financially, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I have my end goal in sight and my mind correctly set up, everything else will fall into place because I will make sure it does.
Thank you again Kirsten for your encouraging words.

Keep in mind I haven't achieved a full transition although I would like to. I do have significant feminization including breasts ( I easily fill a b- cup bra). When I get home from work it's  into skirts and dresses.More feminine body and female disposition keeps me going until opportunity to push the feminine envelope is possible. I nearly lost my wife once already and went off HRT for 2017. Marriage improved -dysphoria came back so HRT for 2018 started again 1st Jan. My family life is good HRT is gently yet relentlessly working it's magic- I feel like I'm not missing the boat.
I believe anyone can choose a WPATH transition or just kick off HRT which is inexpensive and buys time to get organised. Everybody's situation is a bit different.
Good luck with everything Curious Cat.
Yours truly, Kirsten.



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Thank you Kirsten, how exactly does WPATH work? How may I contact them and would they help me begin HRT or is it something that I must do on my own? I just saw your picture by the way, you are beautiful, I really hope I can become as good looking as you whenever I transition.

Thanks again Kirsten 

Hi again Curiouscat94x,
Have a look at www.anzpath.org.
HRT can be accessed through the Informed Consent Model with or without Gender Dysphoria diagnosis.
The other WPATH model starts with diagnosis and is structured around full transition if that is the patients goal.
Hope that helps.
Kind regards, Kirsten.

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P.S. Thank you for the complement! I look a bit rougher without makeup and a camera filter though. Ha Ha.[emoji6]

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