Hi ! 

First of all I have to say that English is not my language, so sorry me for any typos and mistakes please, I'm trying really hard.

I had my SRS a couple of years ago, with lots of difficulties that I have had ignored (the reason was my docs were male's, yep, here was a two circles of hell in my country, first to receive an approval for SRS and second to change the documents). Idk how, but I'm still alive and happy with almost everything but problems with health and size of the vagina because I had no strength and enough painkillers to make all after SRS things properly. It is horrible, I can't have the vaginal sex with my boyfriend because it hurts very much. I cannot get any medical help here, because the medicine is ruined in my country, I've tried.. but nobody wants to even listen about such problems. Maybe anyone know what to do to expand it (without funny ideas of course ) ? It is a real problem for me.

Thank you.

Do you have dialators to work on getting more depth and width? After a few years, it can be hard to increase size, but I have found if I dialate less I lose depth. If I push it to regain depth, I can get it back.

Do you mean something special ? I have a regular one, it is about 14sm long and about 3sm width.. I remember how doctor said something about "pump" dilators from sexshops, but they are too expensive for me. Can you show me the correct one please ?

One of the common sources for Dilators is Soul Source. The #4 is big enough to accept most men but a few men are larger than that. I know of another source for a really large dilator but I suspect for now that the dilator your using is about a #2. It's possible you need an internal examination because you could have granulation or scar tissue as the result of your surgery. It can be treated but it's not likely to recover by it's self. Your surgeon could do the examination however a gynecologist also should have the ability but many refuse to do this type of work.

14 centimeter dilator is size 3. Please see a doctor about your issue, also if you say the country you are in, people might help you more.

I know here in Finland, things might vary so much, depending what kind of fool you encounter in medical field. Also, I know here, the surgeons rarely are willing to do much extra work for allow to have sex easier.

Quote from: Dena on July 05, 2018, 05:02:00 PM
One of the common sources for Dilators is Soul Source. The #4 is big enough to accept most men but a few men are larger than that.

Oh, looks interesting, I think something like this would not damage so much and smooth enough for expanding. Is it possible to make something like this by self ?

Quote from: Mendi on July 05, 2018, 05:25:36 PM
14 centimeter dilator is size 3. Please see a doctor about your issue, also if you say the country you are in, people might help you more.

I know here in Finland, things might vary so much, depending what kind of fool you encounter in medical field. Also, I know here, the surgeons rarely are willing to do much extra work for allow to have sex easier.

I don't think I'm totally fool in medicine, but I don't have enough knowledge and experience, it is truth. I'm from ukraine, it is where the war.

Quote from: OofWillis on July 06, 2018, 01:08:20 AM
Oh, looks interesting, I think something like this would not damage so much and smooth enough for expanding. Is it possible to make something like this by self ?

It would take medical grade silicon rubber casting compound and that might be a little difficult to locate. You could make a mold using casting resin or even wax as this would be a one time usage. It would be a fair amount of work and you might be better off buying one because one would last you the rest of your life.

Most important, don't plan on shaping it after it's made because it's difficult to work with. Make the mold exactly how you want the final shape to be.

Quote from: Dena on July 06, 2018, 02:37:20 AM
It would take medical grade silicon rubber casting compound and that might be a little difficult to locate. You could make a mold using casting resin or even wax as this would be a one time usage. It would be a fair amount of work and you might be better off buying one because one would last you the rest of your life.

Most important, don't plan on shaping it after it's made because it's difficult to work with. Make the mold exactly how you want the final shape to be.

Grrrr, I can't buy it.. I need a cheap replacement. Any ideas ?

Quote from: OofWillis on July 06, 2018, 03:04:09 AM
Grrrr, I can't buy it.. I need a cheap replacement. Any ideas ?

Under the doctors instructions, I bought mine in an adult book store. It doesn't look the same but it's made out of the same material and so far it's lasted about 35 years.

Quote from: Dena on July 06, 2018, 08:28:55 AM
Under the doctors instructions, I bought mine in an adult book store. It doesn't look the same but it's made out of the same material and so far it's lasted about 35 years.

Thank you, may I ask you to show me please ? I thought to take and share a picture of the dilator I have, but the picture cannot share the material properties.. I'd like to compare and finally understand which is need for me. Can we have a video call or something like this ? Thanks. (I can't pm you)

Quote from: OofWillis on July 06, 2018, 01:12:42 AM
I don't think I´m totally fool in medicine, but I don't have enough knowledge and experience, it is truth. I'm from ukraine, it is where the war.

I didnt mean that you are a fool  I meant, that it depends what kind of doctor you encounter 

I have a friend, who is also familiar with Ukraine, she is from Russia/White Russia if I remember correctly, but has also Ukrainian nationality, or at least is familiar with the country.

I can try to ask from her, if she can give any advice. But that will have to wait a bit, because I will have surgery today.

Good luck!

Quote from: OofWillis on July 06, 2018, 08:58:54 AM
Thank you, may I ask you to show me please ? I thought to take and share a picture of the dilator I have, but the picture cannot share the material properties.. I'd like to compare and finally understand which is need for me. Can we have a video call or something like this ? Thanks. (I can't pm you)

My doctor instructed me to purchase a dildo that was the same as I was before surgery. We use adult book store, dirty book store and a few other terms to describe sex shops were you can buy sex toys. I think I have only been in that type of store twice in my life, once when I bought my dilator and once when we purchased one for my roommate.

Quote from: Mendi on July 06, 2018, 04:19:12 PM
I can try to ask from her, if she can give any advice. But that will have to wait a bit, because I will have surgery today

Ask her please. Do you will have surgery today ? Everything will be fine, you have just relax today and think about happy future. I wish I can be near to say something more supportive. Don't forget to write something about the results please !

Quote from: Dena on July 06, 2018, 06:56:00 PM
My doctor instructed me to purchase a dildo that was the same as I was before surgery. We use adult book store, dirty book store and a few other terms to describe sex shops were you can buy sex toys. I think I have only been in that type of store twice in my life, once when I bought my dilator and once when we purchased one for my roommate.

Haha, I used to "sex shop" term, because it does not sound so "special" in my native language. What do you think about "adult shop" term ? Is it sounds and describes good enough ?

Quote from: OofWillis on July 06, 2018, 01:08:20 AM
Is it possible to make something like this by self ?

I might have an idea? I'm a couple of years ahead of Dena but we both went to the same surgeon and both received the same advice to go to a "sex shop" when it was time to move up to a more rigid and larger dilator. Like her, I was apprehensive about going into a place like this because in the 1970's, they were pretty seedy and kind of underground and I was a young and (mostly) innocent kid on my own and just couldn't talk myself into going to one of these places.

I made my own dilator.

I went to a couple different general hardware stores and lumber yards looking for anything I could fashion into something that would work. At one store, I found a round tapered replacement leg for a coffee table or something? It was maybe 18" to 24" long (45.7 cm to 60.9). I cut the too small end and the too long end off with a saw and kind of rounded the end. I had some thin soft flexible foam and stitched a tight fitting cover for my piece of wood dilator. Then I put a condom on it and tied it at the end. When I used it, I put a second condom on it.

I used that darn thing for years and still have it somewhere?

Another thing Dena and I have in common is long, like years long, after we we were well beyond any healing up that needed to be done is we both slacked off on dilating for a considerable length of time. I never did it during the 12 years I was with my husband as our "marital relations" were sufficient but after I was divorced, I never really got back in the swing of things thinking I was done with men for a while.

But I wasn't. Or at least I couldn't stop thinking about possibilities.

A couple of years ago, I started to wonder how well my body would work if I did meet the right guy? I hadn't been with anyone for 8 or 9 years and I'm not a young woman. It's recently been 41 years since I had my surgery and I'd not really had much more than a couple of fingers "up there" in quite some time so I became curious.

I wasn't quite sure what to do. The GRS dilators from soulsource.com were really expensive and I wasn't even sure what size I needed or if I needed to start with a smaller one?

I searched around and found something that worked for me perfectly. A graduated set so that I could start small and work my way up if I needed to and at the very reasonable price of about $50 USD. Not sure I can add links but the site I found these on was vaginismus.com.

The first couple of sizes were to small to do anything but the last three were in the ballpark. I used the 3rd biggest for 45 minutes or so every day for a couple of weeks. Then the next size, for more weeks and by the end of a couple of months, I was up to the largest size which is the same diameter as the orange SoulSource #4 but more tapered and without the bend.

Eventually, I did purchase the largest #4 dilator from SoulSource. It took me a while to get used to the curved shape but I adjusted. Their FAQ page has details on the sizes of their dilators if you wish to try making something yourself. Just use lots of lubrication.

It is best if I dilate for 45 minutes to an hour once a week which I usually do while watching one of my favorite programs on television. I can go three weeks without too much discomfort but of course, once a week makes things a lot easier. I could probably take a little more diameter if a fellow happened to be a little bigger but depth is a finite resource and being "bottomed out" isn't a lot of fun. I am experienced enough to know how to work with what I got and about 5" (12.7 cm) has always worked well for enough me and not been a problem with average guys. I've been seeing an on again, off again gentleman for three months and if our relationship does go that far, sure I'm a little nervous about it, it's been a long time, but not that nervous about it, if you know what I mean?  I am comfortable enough that if things should turn sexual between us to know how my body works without having to explain my whole damn medical history first. (don't judge)

It may seem odd that a 63½ year old cow is even thinking about sex but I make no apologies! 

Don't know if any of this helps but good luck. Finding really knowledgeable trans health care is kind of a crapshoot in this country too if it makes any difference, especially for an "old timer" like me that doctors seem to be clueless about?

(sorry to ramble. 5:00 AM drunk posting)

Thank you Lisa_K, I found your post very useful for me, and I admire you and Dena. You are the first experienced ladies (I hope it sounds correctly) I met in my life, I have so many questions and so many things to say, to ask, to speak about, to hear from you...

There's some good advice here.  OofWillis, whatever you do for a dilator, please start off small.  Do not force it in, or things will tear.  I knew a post-op who hadn't dilated in years, who tried to force a dilator in, when it wouldn't go in right away.  She wound up in the hospital emergency room, as a result of doing so.  Being post-op 14 1/2 years, I only have dilate once every 4 or 5 weeks, for one hour at a time. But I start off for 10 minutes using a Size 1 to help open things up, before I use a Size 4 (which is 38 mm in diameter) for the remaining 50 minutes or so. 

As was mentioned, if you take care of dilators, they can last you a long time.  I still have the original dilators given to me by Suporn in late 2003 (the smaller size - meant for all post-ops, and the larger size - given to those of use who intended to have heterosexual relationships [me]), and the larger Size 4 (my main dilator) that was purchased in 2003 from a company (founded by a post-op, whose father had a plastics molding company) that is no longer in business.

I don't remember what the company was, but I do recall seeing a website way back in 2004 or 2005, for a company that sold a dilator set to help re-open up things for those of us who had not dilated in a long time.

Thank you Ellen, I've heard the scary things you've described before, I'll be as much careful as I can. I haven't found any good dilator yet, so I'll try something from above advices.