Hello, gents! I was wondering if you would perhaps share with me your pathway to becoming the man that you are today. What were your first steps? A haircut? A new wardrobe? A counselor's visit?

I am not wanting to rush things, but yet I want to get things put into motion. So, I've decided that I am going to allow my eyebrows to grow in, and my legs to go unshaved (while keeping this fact hidden beneath jeans so that I alone can see how I like it). I already have a boyish haircut, so that much is done.

Anyway, please share your journey with me!

Hey there; interesting question.  I'm not exactly what society would call a man yet, but... I can at least share some things I've done so far.

I suppose the biggest thing would be becoming sure enough of myself and who I am to tell my parents.  That was kind of a big step because it meant no more hiding or trying to push away the reality of who I am; it meant having to deal with it.  So inevitably that meant seeing a gender specialist.

Honestly, I don't think I have any real 'physical' things to mark a transition so far.  I guess that comes down to always considering myself a boy as a child and expecting myself to (quite naturally, I thought) grow into a man.  So I never did get rid of that long, albeit sparse and blonde, hair on my legs or bother with makeup or any of the other things expected of an adolescent girl.  My clothes and shoes were either boys' or unisex (ie, T-shirts). I owned some girl items to satisfy my mother; I refused to wear any of it. 

In my late teens, I did get a few female T's that I actually wore; I wanted a tight T-shirt that would show off my muscles (yeah, yeah, somebody slap me; but I started weightlifting at that time and wanted to be like all the young dudes showing off).  But of course I never did look much like a guy in a tight shirt; I actually felt downright awkward, especially in public, so I stopped wearing 'em. 

I guess the next thing on my list of things to do is get a haircut.  I've got one of those short-for-a-girl, long-for-a-boy cuts that I did myself with a razor 'cuz every hair-cutter I go to tries to "feminize" it and show me how to style it *laughs* riiiight.  I'm just afraid that shorter hair is gonna make, I dunno, my probably feminine skull/neck/whatever more prominent.  But I guess I'll give it a go anyways.

told my mom.  I shaved my head at 13.  got tired of the ->-bleeped-<-ty long hair started to bind right then to.  bought dude's clothes & my new life started.  at 21 I changed my name to Chris. I've been on T for 2 yrs. had top surgery last year.  I wanna have a meta but I gotta save the money first.  Yep u just gotta do it at ur own pace.  it aint a good idea to rush stuff.  Welcome to the site bro

Christ Chris 2220 posts.

I'm glad you found this place Kris. I wanted to chime in on something Eryk said. Confidence is a huge part of it. I mean, seriously, it's everything. If you feel guilty or ashamed or out of place, it's obvious, and things won't go right.

The feminized haircut thing stands out to me. I remember when I had my hair styled and highlighted for the first time, it took like 2 hours, spent the whole while gabbing back and forth, and she still offered to give me 'manly swoop bangs' if i wanted to go that way. Real sweet lady though.

For my last couple of cuts I've gone to a different stylist because she put long fingernails + womens' dress shirt + boots together with my long hair and went out of her way to try to do feminine touches to the cut. I appreciate that.

Next time I get my hair cut I'm just going to flat out say that I want her to cut my hair like a girl's, and I'll probably be bringing in some pictures for ideas  . As I said, confidence!

I was idly shopping for jeans at the mall the other day (discovered a new cut, curvy, it's high in the back so you don't show off your asscrack when you bend over. Must pursue this style) and a 17 year old girl I work with walked by. 'What are you doing here?' 'Shopping for pants.' 'You know this is the womens' department right' 'Yes, I'm a 2 petite.' "Oh.' and she glared at me jealously. 

God, I remember the first time I shaved my arms... I wore long sleeve shirts until it grew out some. And my chest... same. I was so afraid of my mom freaking out. Seems so long ago.

But anyway, yeah, confidence. Women can pretty much shop for anything they want (since a lot of women dress their men anyway) so you shouldn't have any issues shopping for clothing. Try mens' underwear if you haven't already, it's a lot rougher, thicker, and wholly unpleasant compared to panties. You'll probably love it. Also you can probably switch to mens' shoes. Tennis shoes, no one will be able to tell a difference without being an expert.

Oh, you're probably a little young to want slacks for casual wear, but mens' slacks are a lot baggier than womens'. I love the way womens' slacks are, but there's NO POCKET ROOM. My mens' slacks pockets go down nearly to my bleedin' knees. You can fit a gun or a knife or something equally masculine ( ) in each pocket, along with a wallet, cell phone, and a magic 8 ball.

Thank you very much everybody! And, Autumn, you make me laugh! I'm actually quite fond of sweats, and I used to dress in men's sweats before, so if I re-do my wardrobe to that style, no one will pay much attention.

And you're all right when it comes to confidence. I don't have enough of it yet, which is why I'm taking it slow. I'm 18, but I still live at home; if I didn't, things would surely be different. There is a huge chance that I will be going to college in Oregon this fall (which is WAY across the country), so I have no doubt that my confidence will skyrocket with the change. I believe that that's really all I need: somewhere where nobody knows me or judges me for my past actions. My family is so religious, but I think that my siblings would accept me as a brother. My mother would never accept me, I don't think. She would love me, but not accept me. In order for me to be happy with who I am, though, I am going to have to risk that sometime sooner or later (and rather sooner than later, LoL).

I gave away all my skirts, and girlier clothes, and began to purchase more male clothes as I could.
I did go shopping for dressy clothing for a supportive friend's wedding - sportcoat, tie, nice new shirt, at a local store where there wasa big sale.

I started trying out a couple of male names by having friends call me those names, just at their homes at first. 
And using "he" as my pronoun.  That felt great.

I bought some good books on gender related issues.
I gave away old shoes, and bought two pairs of "men's shoes" at Walmart instead.

I did start "packing" early on, too.

I'm still working on my hair......it's so thick it's a puzzle to me.

Good luck, I would suggest just doing what draws you the most, first.

Joseph

yeh i would say the first thing i did was started binding at 12 stoped at 15 tried to please "the world" and continued living as  me at 19....

Therapy, wardrobe, haircut were all at about the same time. Think I started with therapy.

Dennis

I got my hair shaved down to about an inch (from about mid-back length), thought about the whole gender thing for about a month more (after having thought about it on and off for a few years), and then made an appointment with the counselor at my college.  Within a week of that first appointment I started asking to be called Ray and to be referred to with male pronouns.  And then I started getting more comfortable with what I was getting into and with presenting as male, etc., and now it's been about five months and I'm about to start T in May or June.

I had already stopped shaving my legs a few months before and didn't really have any feminine clothing.

Good luck with everything!  And btw, do you mind me asking where you're from?

- Ray

A few months ago, I got my hair buzzed all the way across so that it was only about half an inch off the top of my head, and about a quarter inch on the sides and back. But, even if I looked more masculine, that sort of haircut just wouldn't go with the shape of my head; it made me look too round. That's why I've grown it out on top so that it's about an inch, and now I spike it, giving my head an elongated look since my face is a little "short" or "squished." LoL.

Thanks for your replies, everybody!

Oh, and I'm from Morgantown, WV. ^_^

it has been a lifelong process but the actual point where i can say i started my "transition" was when i bought boxers.  then i came out to my family, got a hair cut the next day. started binding.  already in therapy but i started going to a gender therapist.  then name change.  hope to start T in a couple of days.

oh, before i came out to my family i slowly cut my hair shorter and shorter over a several month period.

If it's not too personal, would you mind sharing with me how your family reacted?

they weren't surprised... i was never a girly girl.  but the first couple of days were hard. For many it can feel like a death in the family. they had lots of questions, among the first were 1. did i want a penis and 2. what was my sexual orientation.

Those are usually the first two questions i get.  Surgery/orientation.

Slacks, not sweats! Dressy pants, not messy pants.

Oh god I can't believe I typed that. But you don't usually see them before later-early and mid 20s :v

Hahaha! Well, I'm only 18...and about to enter college... I think I can pull off the sweats look.

Dressed in "male" clothes since I was 8 or 9. Binded from about 11 or 12 years old. Cut my hair to about 2 inchs long, at 17. When I was 20 I told my parents/family/friends started therapy, Changed my name last month, should be starting T in about 2 months!

Hey, just wanted to say that it's cool that you're from Morgantown.     My dad's side of the family lives on Preston County and I just moved back to Ohio within the last year after having lived in Marion County for a little bit.

Oh, that's neat. I just moved back to Morgantown from Preston County. LoL. I used to live in Kingwood.

I know where Kingwood is.  I think I've only actually been there for the Buckwheat Festival.

Sorry to get off topic.

Well, i'm still trying to decide if i even want to take any hormones, as i'm ftm but attracted to guys.  what i've done is buy men's underwear -- it is 1000x more comfy than womens!! Geez!  Anyway I also bought some looser men's pants, some shoes that look masculine, and a few shirts that could go either way.  I have kids and I don't want to scare them, lol.  My hair is still shoulder length, so I'm going for a shorter layered look (kinda in between).  I just want to see how i feel looking more masculine.  I also bought a packy and binder.  I figured i'd start slow and with clothing, then worry about the rest.

The only thing I've worn so far has been the underwear and it's so much better.

Jaye

Posted on: April 03, 2008, 06:29:22 PM

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Just an update: today is the first time i'm going out in public in man's clothes, I'm going to work.  Polo shirt, salmon colored, tan khakis, merrell mocs, men's underwear, and a packy.  I don't have a binder yet and this is my first attempt.  Other than needing a belt, it looks pretty good and not too obvious.  I can't explain it but the packy feels so real it instantly lifted my mood!  It came like 15 minutes ago!!  Just thought I'd share.

Jaye