Ok, so Im a little short on clothes, and most of mine are old and tatty. My mother, who I still live with, keeps pestering me to go and get new clothes, but she wants to come along to make sure I buy what she thinks I should have. Thing is, I hate clothes shopping as it aggrivates how I feel about my body. Ive explained this multiple times in the past, and the response I got was this:

Well I dont need you making me feel ->-bleeped-<- over your problems, cause those are your feelings not mine. You're being selfish, so just dont feel that way. Im trying to be understanding but youre always so negative.

I am getting sick of this now. My mum turned round to me a few weeks ago and told me if I do anything and so much as present female, even my soulmate would be scared of. She feeds my anxiety and depression and yet goes on about how she wants me to be happy and confident. She makes everything about her, she's not being supportive and frankly, Im done trying. Im pissed off with her bigstyle.

im in a similar position, and im always fighting with my family over clothing and presentation all the time. Im so sorry your mother is being like that, and living in that position sucks. this is definetly not something that is wise, but is it possible to get around her rules on shopping somehow? im not saying to do that, I am simply wondering if you can do that(yes, this is how I get clothing usually, but I have my brother to help me) do you have any supportive family? lines are crossed most often by those that we call family. feel free to msg me anytime, I might be able to help you out in how to deal with them(I struggle with my parents and family a lot, and at 17 its hard to get away with a lot for me, but im willing to help you out if you want)

Love,
Lilly Garcia

Quote from: Lilly G on July 12, 2018, 05:01:32 PM
im in a similar position, and im always fighting with my family over clothing and presentation all the time. Im so sorry your mother is being like that, and living in that position sucks. this is definetly not something that is wise, but is it possible to get around her rules on shopping somehow? im not saying to do that, I am simply wondering if you can do that(yes, this is how I get clothing usually, but I have my brother to help me) do you have any supportive family? lines are crossed most often by those that we call family. feel free to msg me anytime, I might be able to help you out in how to deal with them(I struggle with my parents and family a lot, and at 17 its hard to get away with a lot for me, but im willing to help you out if you want)

Love,
Lilly Garcia

I have nobody in my family. Not even in my extended family. Makes me feel like ->-bleeped-<-, and then my mum makes it about her.

She turned round to me a few months back and said my depression is harder on her than it is on me, thats how self absorbed we're talking here. Yes, because my medical and psychological issues are a cakewalk

Is there an LGBTQ community near you? The ones near me have clothes swaps for situations just like this (also b/c clothes are expensive. lol)

how old are you? this im actually wondering because I might have a suggestion that is not gonna be neccesarily fun, but it will hopefully make sure you are safe in being yourself at home. it sounds like your mom doesn't even care about your depression or your happiness, it seems like she only cares about you reflecting on her, parents are to support their children no matter what and it sounds like yours don't. my main question is weather or not you are safe being yourself at home.

Love,
Lilly


also, lgbtq communities do that? i didnt know. damn, i should find one close enough for that. i hope there is one, as far as i know there isnt one.

Im sorry, I cant even buy anything other than non gender... with shorts (usually themed shirts and shorts) because Im also living with my family and other than me having pierced ears and painting my nails I have zero support. I would say just buy what you want and tell her to leave you alone but if your in the same type of boat as I am that could leave you with no save place to go. I wish there was an easy answer... not prying or anything but do you have the means to move out yet if not I understand completely because its not like companies openly want people like us but they wont openly higher us either. And even if thats not the issue it could easily become one...

Thats way I need to find my LGBTQI+ community and see if I can get support also  (learn new things)

me? move out? well, that depends on weather or not I get the job I applied to at chipotle.

and chillis
and like three other places

Good luck, Lilly. 

Quote from: ÑïñâFairy on July 12, 2018, 08:41:16 PM
Good luck, Lilly. 

Offtopic but the site says I can't send private messages

Quote from: ÑïñâFairy on July 12, 2018, 10:10:45 PM
Offtopic but the site says I can't send private messages

You have to have like 15 or so posts before you can do that. The admin did that to cut down on the possibility of spammers.

Hello again Jaybutterfly

I recall we corresponded on a previous thread about your depression and sadly it seems you are still suffering. I know how you feel; you are frustrated by not being able to make any progress either with depression or dressing feminine or your mum.

I hope you managed to arrange something for your depression presumably through NHS.

As regards dressing feminine and your mum, I understand we must dress feminine at least in private and we all wish to remain as close as possible with our mum. (I loved my mum dearly although she never accepted me being trans and she sadly died in 2015).

My advice would be to consider moving out if you have funds but remain in close contact with mum. If you do not have sufficient funds, then you need more privacy in your home in order to dress feminine.

I truly hope you can resolve your issues.

Hugs

Pamela

Quote from: jaybutterfly on July 12, 2018, 04:36:45 PM
Ok, so Im a little short on clothes, and most of mine are old and tatty. My mother, who I still live with, keeps pestering me to go and get new clothes, but she wants to come along to make sure I buy what she thinks I should have. Thing is, I hate clothes shopping as it aggrivates how I feel about my body. Ive explained this multiple times in the past, and the response I got was this:

Well I dont need you making me feel ->-bleeped-<- over your problems, cause those are your feelings not mine. You're being selfish, so just dont feel that way. Im trying to be understanding but youre always so negative.

I am getting sick of this now. My mum turned round to me a few weeks ago and told me if I do anything and so much as present female, even my soulmate would be scared of. She feeds my anxiety and depression and yet goes on about how she wants me to be happy and confident. She makes everything about her, she's not being supportive and frankly, Im done trying. Im pissed off with her bigstyle.

so my dad, the person I thought would be at least neutral(and he has been wishy-washy til tonight) finaly crossed that same line you mention here, and im sorry for any typos, im crying while posting this, my dad decided that threatening to break my pc and telling me that everything is my fault for coming out, and that if I don't ge ta job in the next month, then ill be a useless waste of space that will not graduate from even a jc in 10 years......and that nobody will want me around and it would be better if I withered away working like a "man" should instead of this bull->-bleeped-<- that he thinks is helping.........tbh, im not sure how much longer I can deal with him and my own mother destroying everything around me without a care of how I FEEL. its all about them.

Jay have you been to Rennaissance support group? They meet every 2nd & 4th Tuesday at Gynway hotel Blackpool, it's not far from you. I was lucky I got support from my parents & sister & had been living away for a long time, moving out seems like a good idea