I recently posted about this but now the school had suspended me for a further 5 days pending investigation because I called someone a homophobe and that 'makes me as bad as him' he said being gay is wrong and he disagrees with gay marriage and I get the whole entitled to your own opinion thing but when your opinions invalidate other people's identities it's not okay. They didn't accept anything I said when I had a meeting with them today and they said there's no going back. I just want to die now. I'm in year 10 year 11 in a few months and I'll be taking my GCSE's and I don't have a school to go to. I've <not allowed> my whole future and ruined my parents lives I don't know what to do I have so much anger trapped inside me right now I'm gonna walk to a bridge and jump

Quote from: erintilly14 on July 18, 2018, 10:57:37 AM
I recently posted about this but now the school had suspended me for a further 5 days pending investigation because I called someone a homophobe and that 'makes me as bad as him' he said being gay is wrong and he disagrees with gay marriage and I get the whole entitled to your own opinion thing but when your opinions invalidate other people's identities it's not okay. They didn't accept anything I said when I had a meeting with them today and they said there's no going back. I just want to die now. I'm in year 10 year 11 in a few months and I'll be taking my GCSE's and I don't have a school to go to. I've <not allowed> up my whole future and ruined my parents lives I don't know what to do I have so much anger trapped inside me right now I'm gonna walk to a bridge and jump

@erintilly14
Hang on there...  you will get through this....  do you have any way to go see a gender therapist or any other kind of therapist???    Usually, since you are a minor and still in school you can ask the counselors there to set you up with therapy... should be no cost to you.

Also you might want to go to the "Youth Talk" Forums
     https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,496.0.html
and seek discussions there from other teens about your age that may be in similar circumstances.... 

      but for now, please do not go near any bridges... Promise?

Please keep us updated. ... oh, and feel free to PM me if you have more personal private stuff that you need to discuss.  Here on the Forums we are here to support you and to listen... 

Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle

Erin, you must be really down right now. I'm sure everything feels like it's caving in on you, but you have NOT ruined your life. Hang on and this will get better. You may have some changes in your life, but that is not always a bad thing. It could be an amazing opportunity that you could never have imagined. We support you and you are in our thoughts. Just hang on sweetheart.

It makes absolutely no sense for anyone to receive any suspension for calling a bigot a homophobe. If that were all that led to it, the other person should have received a suspension for insulting you in the first place. Something tells me there is much more to your story than what you mentioned.

Quote from: erintilly14 on July 18, 2018, 10:57:37 AM
I recently posted about this but now the school had suspended me for a further 5 days pending investigation because I called someone a homophobe and that 'makes me as bad as him' he said being gay is wrong and he disagrees with gay marriage and I get the whole entitled to your own opinion thing but when your opinions invalidate other people's identities it's not okay. They didn't accept anything I said when I had a meeting with them today and they said there's no going back. I just want to die now. I'm in year 10 year 11 in a few months and I'll be taking my GCSE's and I don't have a school to go to. I've <not allowed> up my whole future and ruined my parents lives I don't know what to do I have so much anger trapped inside me right now I'm gonna walk to a bridge and jump

I got expelled from high school in the 11th grade and got kicked out of my house by my parents for it.  No need to harm yourself.  Just move forward with what you have.  Life is fun, it just matters how you deal with it.
You do YOU.  That is all you can do. 

I turned out ok...I finished graduate school and have a good family of my own.  I did ME.

Quote from: Lady Sarah on July 18, 2018, 01:16:42 PM
It makes absolutely no sense for anyone to receive any suspension for calling a bigot a homophobe. If that were all that led to it, the other person should have received a suspension for insulting you in the first place. Something tells me there is much more to your story than what you mentioned.

There is a bit more to this story but not much. I have always struggled with school and social situations and have quite a lot of meltdowns at school which leads to getting sent home but I have been bullied a lot and there is a lot of racism transphobia and homophobia that is always I dealt with at school.

Quote from: ainsley on July 18, 2018, 01:53:54 PM
I got expelled from high school in the 11th grade and got kicked out of my house by my parents for it.  No need to harm yourself.  Just move forward with what you have.  Life is fun, it just matters how you deal with it.
You do YOU.  That is all you can do. 

I turned out ok...I finished graduate school and have a good family of my own.  I did ME.

I hope it's the same way for me.

Quote from: erintilly14 on July 18, 2018, 01:57:11 PM
There is a bit more to this story but not much. I have always struggled with school and social situations and have quite a lot of meltdowns at school which leads to getting sent home but I have been bullied a lot and there is a lot of racism transphobia and homophobia that is always I dealt with at school.

I have dealt with a lot of it at high school as well. The only suspension I received was after I had enough, and beat up a boy right in front of the principal. My suspension was just for the remainder of that day. Of course, being in 1984, it was a different time, and all the bullying was ignored by teachers. That one beatdown was enough that I never got bullied again.
I guess alot of it depends on your relationship with the school. If you put the effort into being a good student, administrators won't be as harsh as they would be to someone that does not put in the effort.

Quote from: Lady Sarah on July 18, 2018, 02:18:15 PM
I have dealt with a lot of it at high school as well. The only suspension I received was after I had enough, and beat up a boy right in front of the principal. My suspension was just for the remainder of that day. Of course, being in 1984, it was a different time, and all the bullying was ignored by teachers. That one beatdown was enough that I never got bullied again.
I guess alot of it depends on your relationship with the school. If you put the effort into being a good student, administrators won't be as harsh as they would be to someone that does not put in the effort.

I put in a lot of effort I just find school really hard and I don't cope well in most social situations

Do they have home schooling in your country?  If so, I'd do that.

Your life isn't "ruined" because of that jerk's bigotry, nor the bigotry of the school's authority figures.  Don't let them win! It just means you're taking a different path to graduate and go on to college, that's all.

Look into home schooling.  Maybe that's what you should have been doing all along. 

Good luck my friend!  You can do this!  I believe in you! <3

Ryuichi

Quote from: Ryuichi13 on July 18, 2018, 04:36:51 PM
Do they have home schooling in your country?  If so, I'd do that.

Your life isn't "ruined" because of that jerk's bigotry, nor the bigotry of the school's authority figures.  Don't let them win! It just means you're taking a different path to graduate and go on to college, that's all.

Look into home schooling.  Maybe that's what you should have been doing all along. 

Good luck my friend!  You can do this!  I believe in you! <3

Ryuichi

Unfortunately we can't afford tutors for homeschooling.

Erin, I am so sorry to hear what happened in school.  Sometimes things just are just wrong or not fair.  I experienced some really bad times and thoughts when I was 11 and a few after that until I was about 16.  This was many years ago when transition resources were completely out of reach for me. 

For under age 19 a crisis hotline based in London is 800-1111 toll-free in the UK, operated by childline.org.uk and referenced by the NHS.

Later on I found there is so much opportunity in life after finding ways to deal with or ignore certain people who are just rotten.  I want to see you do well, and go on to do great things. 

Kendra

Quote from: erintilly14 on July 18, 2018, 05:34:28 PM
Unfortunately we can't afford tutors for homeschooling.

Maybe things are different where you are, but homeschooling here in the US simply means "going to a online classroom, and doing the work and homework from it."  Can your parents check with the local school board and see if there's approved government online classes you can take? 

Online classes are no longer just for college classes.  Here in the US, you can be homeschooled from kindergarten up until you graduate from college...IF you know where to go online for the correctly approved classes. 

They may or may not be free, but I'm sure your parents would be willing to look into payment plans if the option is available.

Good luck!

Ryuichi

As far as what has happened in the past, I can offer little advice other than to wait it out and see what the school decides. the advice I can offer is for the future. You will never change the mind of the type of person your dealing with so it's best not to lower yourself to their level by calling them names or arguing with them. The best revenge comes from walking away from them and waiting for them to incriminate themselves. This might amount to reporting what they said or waiting for them to cause another violation where it's witnessed. You have the advantage of time and they have the disadvantage of they must never be caught making a mistake.

I know it's difficult to be silent but by doing so, your proving that your a better person than they are. They thrive on bending your will so by not acting, your doing the one thing they never expected. We are with you here and if you need to vent when something like this happens to you, do so here where you have a friendly ear.

Sounds like they expelled you for a track record of behavior they found unacceptable, not just for calling someone a homophobe.

You should think about getting some counselling/therapy if you are unable to fit in or control yourself around others in school. The only one losing out will be you if you can't manage it.

@Erintilly14 you need to see a therapist. Both for your dysphoria and your temper/impulse control. Do you have ADHD or something? I have ADHD and Tourette's. I was in a LOT of fights as a kid. I had no impulse control. Someone said or did something that hurt me and BAM a fist in the face.

My son had bad meltdowns in school. He even fought the principal. We had to change schools to a school with behavioral therapy. He is 17 now and a gentleman. He does not have meltdowns anymore and communicate with words.

I don't know if you have that kind of schools in your country. Maybe that is something to check up?

Are your parents ready to get you therapy for your temper? That might be a foot into the system and get you to see a gender therapist sooner.


Also, stay away from bridges. Use the crisis hotline if you need to talk to someone IRL.
We are also here online.

My life has caved in on me a couple of times. What happens is change. Changes in life are not always bad. It just pushes you in a new direction.



Tony