Hi Jean 🙋♀️ Welcome to Susan's Place, I'm Jessica! You are the age I was when i started hrt.
Dorset you say, I'm on the other side of the globe from you in California, but I understand that there are a number of Susan's members in the UK. Get to know em!
I sounds to me that you have an understanding wife, but with issues about it all. She may be thinking that the time she "allows" you, to be open with your feelings, is enough to quell your desires. It may be, but maybe not. 28 years of marriage, of sharing, of loving, of future dreams can create a strong bond that can withstand and be flexible. Is she open to talk about more freedom for yourself? Would she consider couples therapy or even by herself?
With myself, I've found that the more I have felt the pull of who I am, the more I want to be her.
Hugs a smiles, Jess