Hi ladies,
I am curious to know if someone could help me understand how to orgasam. I am 3 months and some days now post op and have still yet to orgasam. I've tried messing around some but am still not able to find my clitoris per say. When I go to massage around the outter skin and begin to pat myself on top of the clitoral area it feels good but it's like there no way of getting to her. My surgon told me to use my finger and go inside a little deep but for me its like a wall I'm touching... I'm really not sure and I don't want to hurt myself. Any advice?

Also, when should I expect for my clitoris to appear?

Thank you

Quote from: laya_lumbee on July 20, 2018, 07:07:21 PM
Hi ladies,
I am curious to know if someone could help me understand how to orgasam. I am 3 months and some days now post op and have still yet to orgasam. I've tried messing around some but am still not able to find my clitoris per say. When I go to massage around the outter skin and begin to pat myself on top of the clitoral area it feels good but it's like there no way of getting to her. My surgon told me to use my finger and go inside a little deep but for me its like a wall I'm touching... I'm really not sure and I don't want to hurt myself. Any advice?

Also, when should I expect for my clitoris to appear?

Thank you

3 months things could still be swollen, but playing around you should be able to feel it swelling up or hardening underneath.  Direct clitoral stimulation was always a bit too much but rubbing around it I could get her purring pretty quickly.  It could, of course, also be that you are still healing and might need more time.

I agree with Doreen, the area around the clitoris is probably still swollen (it took several months for my clitoris, clitoral hood, etc. to settle down/loosen up).  Give it more time before you get serious with exploring things.  Clitoral orgasms are a thing of great joy (much better than any guy-gasm IMO).  For me they're like a supernova going off, the way they envelope my whole body (to this day, I say "WOW!!! after I come down from a clitoral orgasm).  Want to make the orgasms better?, use a vibrator to stimulate your clitoris - it's SERIOUSLY intense.

I'm 9 months post op. I recently had a strange experience. I was wearing a string from a lingerie set, you know just that small triangle string thingy. As I was rubbing the material on top of my clitoris area, well not rubbing more like the way you move your finger tips when you are itching, I felt a real nice sensation. As I removed my string and did the same movements directly on my skin, it did not feel the same at all. I placed the string back and continued with my fingers and amazingly quick I reached an "O".

I remembered my Dr. telling me to massage the area either with massage oil or trough panties, but not directly on dry skin contact. Now I am wandering if that was a "hint" to pleasure or just for healing. <3

BTW as of today I still can not pin point the magical clitoris location, but just the vicinity. At my last Dr. visit she touched it and it felt like she hit the doorbell.

Our recovery is different for each of us and the surgeon style is also different. The thai sirgeons all will have a very visible, distinct and sensitive clitoris. I dont understand the flat wall that you describe. If you spread the labia minora you should see a clitoris visible. Some surgeons have great clitoral hoods other do it as a revision a year later.

Clitoral orgasms and later vaginal orgasms can be achieved after 3 months but normally within the first 6 months. Much depends on your libido and how active you were sexually as a male. The desire for an orgasm can be very frustrating and for post ops can be stressful also. Its kinda like a cycle, you get frustrated then stressed and you give up.

Remember, that with males, once aroused they can normally achieve orgasms, in many cases men hold back their desire for orgasms quickly to please their partner and still maintain the hardness. Females minds on the other hand  need to focus and concentrate on a sound, picture, feeling or memory to reach the point of orgasm. It requires much more concentration. Once we have the urge to orgasm I feel you need to focus and achieve it.

My suggestion is to buy a small, high quality vibrator. One that has quite intense vibrations. Then also turn on a porn video, maybe a drink etc. <moderator edit> and take your time to get aroused. The first time may requite quite agressive rubbing and vibrations. You may feel that just 3 months post op you dont dare to rub too hard. Dont worry, after three months the stitching is all healed and using alot of baby oil you really need to work it.

The first time may take a long time, maybe an hour. The orgasm will be very different from when you were a male. After a few orgasms you will know the mental path to orgasm and then its there for you.

Remember, emotion and feeelings increase our orgasms as females. Having sex later with someone you care for makes orgasms even greater.

Quote from: warlockmaker on July 20, 2018, 11:30:22 PM
... The first time may take a long time, maybe an hour. The orgasm will be very different from when you were a male. After a few orgasms you will know the mental path to orgasm and then its there for you...

Your response in all its completeness ( I have deleted most of it in this comment to reserve space) can not be said any better, super. Thx.

Yes the orgasm, and it way to get there are 100% different then before. BTW, I used a magic wand not long after surgery and it did hurts like a bi.ch.

Haven't posted here in ages.

Orgasms, like recovery, like HRT results will vary from person to person.
what gets me there might not be what gets you there, you could have the reverse effort.

For me, I was youngish (21), I knew my body pre-GRS and knew that I had some work to do.

When I first started out I wasn't masturbating as such, I would feel around, work out what was feeling nice, what was a no-no and what felt like "being touched by an octopus wearing ski gloves".
I started to worry at first that I hated my clitoris being touched, it took a few weeks of playing around to work out that while I hated it being touched directly at first, after a while I loved it and it felt amazing.
I also worked out that I needed to be wet to get any pleasure from the touching, whether what was from lube (I no longer use any) or by getting wet, which back then was only a tiny bit.

After a little while of not quite getting there, don't get me wrong the trying was amazing I started to watch some female centric porn. That helped even if it was a background thing.

It got to the stage I thought that while I couldnt get there but was okish with that, then one night I started to add more pressure on my clitoris, it was like I was dying for the pressure and it happened.

So you need to play around, don't focus on the end result, focus on the feelings, love getting to know your body, relax, try different things, watch porn or read a sexy book.

Hm. Well I never really stick anything up (manly because that's reserved for who ever I marry in the future) I've always just rubbed myself. But I've never done a surgery because I was born female so sorry if this isn't much help.😅

Quote from: SallyChoasAura on July 22, 2018, 10:20:44 PM
Hm. Well I never really stick anything up (manly because that's reserved for who ever I marry in the future) I've always just rubbed myself. But I've never done a surgery because I was born female so sorry if this isn't much help.😅

That's all I do to achieve orgasm too. Both before and after.. and they aren't all that mysterious, for me visualization helps alot.  I can sometimes manage to do it without touching myself but generally rubbing gets the cat purring.