Hello, i'm new here. for as long as i can remember I've been girly.. i was 5 in '70, so i grew up in a time when wanting to be a girl, and wearing girl clothes had to be very hidden. as i got into my teens i loved wearing some of my mothers clothes secretly, wanting to be a woman. i never had a girl friend, and never considered myself gay or liking guys. after joining the army, served the first gulf war and i knew i couldn't be anything other than a man. i moved on to college, and then the working world. when i finally got a computer, and accessed the internet, i found eBay, and i started buying clothing, and shaving my body, but it was short lived as i had to work, and being single made it hard as i worked two to three jobs sometimes. then i rejoined the military part time, and pursuing my dream was smashed... then the trade centers were attacked and i was deployed there almost immediately.. i got out in 03 and started to pursue my dream, and whammy, i met a great woman.. and i thought that would change everything. and it did, for a while..in the mean time i was battling illness after illness, mostly respiratory and headache related... three years ago i collapsed... and that was the beginning of major illness for me. i had a respiratory infection so bad i nearly died as i was going septic.. but the doctors were able to figure that out and save me.. in the mean time i lost the great woman as my partner, although she stood by me helping to care for me. was diagnosed with Parkinson's and started taking meds for that.. but it was  too much.. i found cbd oil.. changed my life... i could move again, no shakes, no tremors, and no meds.. and all of a sudden i wanted to be a woman again,.. i still do.. i no longer am able to work, so i'm pursuing it.. and want to start taking hormones and change.. I've never been happy as a man, and much happier felling as feminine as i can..  so i live with the great woman still, i occupy part of the house i own with her.. she doesn't necessarily approve, but she has her new boyfriend... anyhow, im new here, struggling with some of this..

Welcome to the site Stephanie Anne.  It sounds like you have some unfinished business, i.e. finally becoming the woman you were always meant to be.  Congratulations on breaking thru.

Hello friend. Greetings from Indiana.
It does take courage to be here, being new myself, but from what I can tell- you are going to fit right in and make many new friends!

Hi Steph. Sorry about your health issues. These kind of major life events can sometimes refocus us. Life is short, don't let yourself stand in line to be happy. Jump the gate, and explore who you are.  Good luck and best wishes sweetie!

Quote from: Stephanie Anne on July 22, 2018, 07:28:07 PM
Hello, i'm new here. for as long as i can remember I've been girly.. i was 5 in '70, so i grew up in a time when wanting to be a girl, and wearing girl clothes had to be very hidden. as i got into my teens i loved wearing some of my mothers clothes secretly, wanting to be a woman. i never had a girl friend, and never considered myself gay or liking guys. after joining the army, served the first gulf war and i knew i couldn't be anything other than a man. i moved on to college, and then the working world. when i finally got a computer, and accessed the internet, i found eBay, and i started buying clothing, and shaving my body, but it was short lived as i had to work, and being single made it hard as i worked two to three jobs sometimes. then i rejoined the military part time, and pursuing my dream was smashed... then the trade centers were attacked and i was deployed there almost immediately.. i got out in 03 and started to pursue my dream, and whammy, i met a great woman.. and i thought that would change everything. and it did, for a while..in the mean time i was battling illness after illness, mostly respiratory and headache related... three years ago i collapsed... and that was the beginning of major illness for me. i had a respiratory infection so bad i nearly died as i was going septic.. but the doctors were able to figure that out and save me.. in the mean time i lost the great woman as my partner, although she stood by me helping to care for me. was diagnosed with Parkinson's and started taking meds for that.. but it was  too much.. i found cbd oil.. changed my life... i could move again, no shakes, no tremors, and no meds.. and all of a sudden i wanted to be a woman again,.. i still do.. i no longer am able to work, so i'm pursuing it.. and want to start taking hormones and change.. I've never been happy as a man, and much happier felling as feminine as i can..  so i live with the great woman still, i occupy part of the house i own with her.. she doesn't necessarily approve, but she has her new boyfriend... anyhow, im new here, struggling with some of this..

@Stephanie Anne
Hello Stephanie Anne,     
Thank you for introducing yourself on this thread.  Please know that I am not trying to hijack your thread but first things first.
I see that you are new here and may have questions and concerns, this is the right place for you to be to find out what others have done that may have been in your circumstances. 
Be aware that there are lots of members here that can identify with the issues that you brought up in your introduction posting. 

WELCOME to Susan's Place.  You will find this a safe and friendly place to share with others  and to read about others similar trials, tribulations, and successes.
It is nice that you have signed up so you can share with others and involve yourself with some give and take with other members.
When frustrated or if you have successes you can share it here if you wish and receive support from others and offer support to others. ....

***It's a very good chance that you might find that you will make some new friends here. 

Please come in and get involved at your own pace.  Be sure to look at the Links that I posted below, there is information about the site that will help you navigate around and best utilize the features here.
Again, Welcome.
Danielle

Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that all new members should be familiar with:

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By	Standard Terms & Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)	Cautionary Note
Reputation rules	News posting & quoting guidelines	Photo, avatars, & signature images policy	Membership Agreement

@Stephanie Anne
Oh, and another thing Stephanie Anne  ... to let more members here on the Forums know of your arrival and therefore you will receive more involvement in sharing information of interest with you ...
...and other like-minded  members reading it will be more apt to share their thoughts with you.

If you would, please go to the  Introductions Forum  to tell the members about yourself!  It would be good if you would include a brief summary of the key information that you wrote in your first posting here.

Again, Welcome to Susan's Place,
Danielle

Hi Stephanie Anne,

Posting on the forum is a big step, and congratulations for taking it!  Now you get to share with others and others can share with you.  You will find a wealth of experience here from many members.  I've been hanging around for a couple of months now and I have finally found a place where I can talk about my inner feelings that have burdened me throughout my life.  Now that burden isn't so heavy anymore thanks to everyone who shared with me and allowed me to share with them.  Feel free to ask questions and express your fears and concerns, because if you're anything like me you have a lot of questions, fears, and concerns that are too much to bear alone.  Have fun on Susan's and keep coming back!

Hugs!!!


Danielle

Quote from: Stephanie Anne on July 22, 2018, 07:28:07 PM
Hello, i'm new here. for as long as i can remember I've been girly.. i was 5 in '70, so i grew up in a time when wanting to be a girl, and wearing girl clothes had to be very hidden. as i got into my teens i loved wearing some of my mothers clothes secretly, wanting to be a woman. i never had a girl friend, and never considered myself gay or liking guys. after joining the army, served the first gulf war and i knew i couldn't be anything other than a man. i moved on to college, and then the working world. when i finally got a computer, and accessed the internet, i found eBay, and i started buying clothing, and shaving my body, but it was short lived as i had to work, and being single made it hard as i worked two to three jobs sometimes. then i rejoined the military part time, and pursuing my dream was smashed... then the trade centers were attacked and i was deployed there almost immediately.. i got out in 03 and started to pursue my dream, and whammy, i met a great woman.. and i thought that would change everything. and it did, for a while..in the mean time i was battling illness after illness, mostly respiratory and headache related... three years ago i collapsed... and that was the beginning of major illness for me. i had a respiratory infection so bad i nearly died as i was going septic.. but the doctors were able to figure that out and save me.. in the mean time i lost the great woman as my partner, although she stood by me helping to care for me. was diagnosed with Parkinson's and started taking meds for that.. but it was  too much.. i found cbd oil.. changed my life... i could move again, no shakes, no tremors, and no meds.. and all of a sudden i wanted to be a woman again,.. i still do.. i no longer am able to work, so i'm pursuing it.. and want to start taking hormones and change.. I've never been happy as a man, and much happier felling as feminine as i can..  so i live with the great woman still, i occupy part of the house i own with her.. she doesn't necessarily approve, but she has her new boyfriend... anyhow, im new here, struggling with some of this..

Hi Stephanie


Welcome to Susan's, you have done the hard part and dipped your toe in the water. It takes courage to make that first post and we have all been there making that first one so understand how hard it is to know what to post. Having a chronic illness is tough, having to constantly deal with Drs, medications and hospitals is enough to drive anyone crazy!!I can empathise I deal with a couple of things myself that have me dealing with the same three things but to be honest I got lucky so mine is finally pretty much under control.

Many of us can relate to periods where we pushed "that" part of us to what ever corner we were able to keep "her/him" in and left "her/him" there for as long as possible, For each of us the cost to keep "her/him" under wraps is different and takes a different toll on each one of us.  Our struggle may end at the same point but how we get there is as individual as we are. Take your time ask as many questions as you want, have a look at our vast archives of posts containing thousands of hours of experience and knowledge.

Take care

Liz