Too dead in this section, might as well find out where the nb's are.

I am wondering how many of you did the boomerang thing, went for the binary transition, couldn't ditch that part of you that was associated with something else, and then wound up as nonbinary trans?

I personally did not walk that road, though I could have, I just never could feel that I was a woman.  I am not, I am a transperson, nonbinary transsexual, call me what you want.

Its been 5 years, I have absolutely no regrets.  I see myself as an androgyne, I feel fundamentally different from transsexual women, and yet, fundamentally the same.   Its what i call walking the diamond tightrope.

Transsexual women, see a transsexual woman when they meet me.  Nonbinary sees nonbinary, but also sees transsexual woman too.

My closest friend sees the androgyne, taking the full transition route.  Which I also see.

Its not by any means simplistic,  And it flies in the face of both binary and nonbinary traditions, the nb's can be gender anarchists, and offended or threatened by the transness of some, the binary truth of some,  ...the binary trans girls, they can't handle it either, because in their hearts they are women through and through, and like it or not, that is their truth and beyond questioning.

Just as nonbinary is our truth, and beyond questioning.

But they see the nonbinary transwoman and they get frightened, or see something they can't handle, and things go to hell.  Because somehow a nonbinary transwoman threatens them.  It threatens the nbs, and the ts.   Living on the tightrope.

But I wonder at the boomerang, trans puberty when it hits exascerbates it, the crushes, the flashing of lingerie, or the mirror of that for the afab, the embarrassing way we relive being 14 years old again, and omg 16 is like a bunny rabbit all over again, twice a virgin.

Fear is the one thing that undermines it all, it destroys transfolk, destroys relationships, and I think as transfolk, we are filled with it.

If this thread goes south, falls apart, gets into any kind of fighting, I will delete it in a heartbeat.

My life depended, literally, on getting into this section and hearing the nonbinary truth and applying it to my life.  Had I not done so I would have lost my marriage, my mind, and my life.  It was Aisla that brought me here long ago, and I know they suffered  the boomerang.   Had they not brought me to this place, even with the mayhem that followed, I most certainly would not have survived.

Yes the nonbinary do rebel against binarism, because we have suffered greatly from it.  Yet, many of us have gone down the binary path, only to find it betrays us.

Plenty to talk about here.  Let's keep it civil or I will be gone again, whether by choice or because I am just too controversial for this forum.    But this stuff is important, isn't it.  Because it can save a life or destroy it to get this wrong.

I would strongly prefer to stick around, I miss my old friends and am finding new ones.

-SJ.

I have only been investigating my ->-bleeped-<- with some depth for the last 18 months.
When I filled out my profile here on Susans I chose the F for female because thats where I saw myself heading, its where I wanted to be.
But over time and having talked to many here, and read what many have said, I have thought about myself a lot, I have come to the conclusion at the age of 41, there are some traits and mannerisms about me that I cannot or do not want to change, there are things in my life I don't want to lose or change as well and they feed the masculine side of me. Right now I see myself somewhere on the 70%Female 30%Male kind of scale - a crude mechanism for trying to explain how I feel inside. The outside is a work in progress.

For these reasons I have come to realize I will always strictly be non-binary. Because in my opinion, most cis-woman would be 90F10M.

If I had started transitioning when I was young, or single then maybe my life would be filled with the memories of a woman, but they are not, I am a father and husband, and there are many other things in my past that were a right of passage for males. These are my memories, they are part of me, they made me who I am but they brought me here as well.

Sonja.

I realize the content is strongly associated with amab trans.  I appologize, its just that my life experience does not include the mirror image so to speak, and I did not speak from someone elses experience.  It would be interesting to hear how that is, if it is the same core truth, or different in some way.  I would not presume to understand the forces at work in transition from afab to true identity, so it leans towards my own take on it.

Quote from: Sonja on July 31, 2018, 08:46:30 PM

If I had started transitioning when I was young, or single then maybe my life would be filled with the memories of a woman, but they are not,

Sonja.

This is an interesting thing for me.

Had I transitioned in the late 60's early 70's (most of my friends that did are dead by the way), I think I would probably have wound up a binary female.  But even with that, there would be elements that I cannot lose.  It would be like Danika Patrick (I have raced and want to continue to do so), or play football in the back lawn, or any one of a host of traditionally guy things.

But why are these traditionally guy things assigned to guys by the social construct?  What makes that gendered?

If it was the body I'd most likely be binary trans, but nonbinary is not just about the body, its about living a life in a gendered world.

When I hear women talking about their periods, I have zero point of reference, zero desire to have one of those.  Carrying a baby inside, no, not remotely interested.  Getting laid as a woman, all the way binary experience, now that is an entirely different story for this bottom here.

But its an interesting question.  I grew up as an androgyne, did not have any choice in that, it just was that way and it was brutal. 

Society was so screwed up and we knew so little back then, how could anyone be anything at all except confused, because social rules are so darned rigid?

Quote from: Satinjoy on July 31, 2018, 08:54:13 PM

Society was so screwed up and we knew so little back then, how could anyone be anything at all except confused, because social rules are so darned rigid?

Societal rules are the fence that helps most people feel safe.  They see where the lines are drawn and those boundaries define their world.

Unfortunately for transgender people - those fences are a hindrance and burden, because they don't define us, some of us jump the fence and live outside of it, some of us try to push the fence out while society tries to pull it back in.

Sonja.

Before coming back to Susan's this evening I had a long phone conversation with someone I think is a friend.  This was a very deep conversation and it really went south.  The crux was she wanted me to define truth in a manner that satisfied her so she could tell me, again, that I am wrong for being who I am.  Why did I bother?  I guess that you can honestly say that I am hard headed.

This topic is asking to go DEEP.  So maybe I am risking too much by coming here -- C'est la vie...

The therapy I am going through right now is Internal Family Systems therapy trying to sort out issues mostly relating to the first fourteen of my sixty-five years.  Childhood was a horrific time for me and my psyche is filled with broken small child parts.  A LOT of these parts are female in an AMAB body.  The eventual coalition of parts that helped me limp through most of adult life worked to put on a male face.  This was in reality a fake male face and none of those parts had a true strong male gender identity.  Actually one of them has a female gender identity.  So the "male" side of the team is a real mixed bag; and for sure not an alpha male.

The female side started coming out about five years ago and two years ago was on the point of engineering a full MtF transition.  At that point the most feminine little part said "No!"  What I see now is that what is called "Self" in IFS therapy was deeply blended with that part -- it was Self that said no.  Since then the main male part has had a bit of healing, and he needs more.  This is not going to lead to being fully cis male.  What it is going to lead to is some sort of non-binary transition that I can not fully picture yet.

I am retired.  I live by myself.  I have freedom to mostly be the me I finally sort out of the confusion.  This is almost certainly going to be both at once.  I am getting a bit more androgynous and all the people in my life accept that -- at least to my face.  The one friend mentioned at the start of this post is the sticking point.  The driver for sticking is religion.  That is important to me, and a big issue for me right now is sorting this out.

So, here I am the Ancient Walrus...


Erin

Quote from: ErinWDK on July 31, 2018, 09:09:56 PM

This topic is asking to go DEEP.  So maybe I am risking too much by coming here -- C'est la vie...

I am getting a bit more androgynous and all the people in my life accept that -- at least to my face.  The one friend mentioned at the start of this post is the sticking point.  The driver for sticking is religion.  That is important to me, and a big issue for me right now is sorting this out.

So, here I am the Ancient Walrus...


Erin

Most folk know I am deeply religious.  I also was reviewing the TOS and want to stay within those boundaries, so I'll be careful here with this.  But understand that I am deeply religious, deeply trans, and have no conflict with it.  Those who do not understand, don't.   And that's too bad.   I lost friends, close ones, over this, and if they cannot see through to the spirit within us and recognize that living a lie is a form of lying, then I don't need them.

Yes I love asking the deep questions because then we grow and it challenges us to see ourselves in the mirror of truth.

If we didn't risk asking the deep questions what would we have?

A pile of makeup, bras and binders, and no depth of soul, and if there is one thing I think we need as transfolk, its stregnth to face adversity, strength based on understanding the truth of who we are, who we are designed to be.  Because when the ->-bleeped-<- hits the fan on the street and in the family and in all the other ways it can for us, if we did it living a lie, it is nothing more than tragedy.   If we did it living the truth, dear walrus, then we are scarred warriors worthy of great esteem, and that my dear one is why I still wear the sword.

The sword of the truth, that we are physically born trans, have trans brains, and need to have bodies to match it, and its not just a spectrum, but (for me) a glorious symphony of gender, the glory of being trans and beautiful, either inside, or outside, or both.

Thank you, Satinjoy.

Internally I do not have conflict being all the diverse things I am.  The issue is expressing this to others that are important to me.  There are a select few who see the mix containing anything Trans* as just plain wrong; and they can not see any Spirit within.

I cry.

Quote from: ErinWDK on July 31, 2018, 09:42:01 PM
I cry.

So does He.

Its the hardest part of living trans, for me.

But I guess we stray from the topic, a little bit.

I am sorry you cry, but you see, you are loved here.   I am so glad you are reaching out.

Quote from: Satinjoy on July 31, 2018, 09:23:57 PM
Most folk know I am deeply religious.  I also was reviewing the TOS and want to stay within those boundaries, so I'll be careful here with this.  But understand that I am deeply religious, deeply trans, and have no conflict with it.  Those who do not understand, don't.   And that's too bad.   I lost friends, close ones, over this, and if they cannot see through to the spirit within us and recognize that living a lie is a form of lying, then I don't need them.

Yes I love asking the deep questions because then we grow and it challenges us to see ourselves in the mirror of truth.

If we didn't risk asking the deep questions what would we have?

@Satinjoy

Years ago when I was a teenager I asked a youth group leader a series of questions it went something like this.
me "people refer to god as God the Father, but god is not likely to have genitals of any kind right?"
leader "correct"
me "and god made mankind in 'his' image, meaning the point of reference was the nature and character of god?"
leader "correct"
me "so if god made man and woman then gods character is a combination of both of those things, god would have to be both man and woman?"
leader ""  didn't know what to say "I'll have to ask the pastor about that and get back to you"

Deep down I knew i was right, and so did the youth group leader.

Sonja.

Quote from: Sonja on August 01, 2018, 05:02:26 PM
@Satinjoy

Years ago when I was a teenager I asked a youth group leader a series of questions it went something like this.
me "people refer to god as God the Father, but god is not likely to have genitals of any kind right?"
leader "correct"
me "and god made mankind in 'his' image, meaning the point of reference was the nature and character of god?"
leader "correct"
me "so if god made man and woman then gods character is a combination of both of those things, god would have to be both man and woman?"
leader ""  didn't know what to say "I'll have to ask the pastor about that and get back to you"

Deep down I knew i was right, and so did the youth group leader.

Sonja.

Hi Sonja,

Did the youth leader ever get back to you?  Or did they quietly shuffle you out of the church?  You asked a very valid set of questions and I fear there are those even in church leadership that do not know how to answer them.  Actually, many full well know, but to give voice to the truth would turn the spotlight on the inconsistency of what they say about transgender people.  It is a sad situation.

Here is a sad Ancient Walrus sitting in the midst of the chasm between the transgender community and the church.  Sad.  I have been part of the church for over fifty years and known I am transgender for five years -- and I find more acceptance in the transgender community.  This is very much a "bad" on the church -- and it is a huge "bad" as I am far from the only one.  But my faith is as much, or more, a part of me than even my very identity, so I soldier on.  I can see why Satinjoy keeps H'er sword by H'er side at the ready, it is a struggle to interact with the world of the cis.

But I need to keep on fighting.  The worst hurts I am dealing with now have been inflicted by those who I thought were friends -- and their view of religion excludes me.  The pain is intense.  Contrary to what these "friends" think, it is my faith that sustains me.  The irony...

Keep up the battle!


Erin

I am asking the admins to keep this thread here and not move it,, dont lock it, and let us talk about this critical issue here in this nonbinary section.

Earlier this year I was living in NYC full time female, mostly.

I do that.  I fly the matrix stealth in many ways.

Someone stole my glasses.  They are 600 buck glasses, i have cataracts in my left eye.  Transition lenses, trifocals... And they got me bifocal teaders too.

Critical iyem, I was doing a staged union reading in Manhattan at the time and bought pink fakes to struggle through things.

I could not afford new glasses.  I bitched about it on my facebook page

An old member of this forum who stayed in touch with me saw this and sent me 300 bucks yo help.

Another person who follows my professional page is a padtor or preist for a California church.  He totally supports me and gets that trans is a medical issue..

That church through this man paid the remainder of my glasses.  I wound up with new progressive nonbinary glasses, and female bifocals for readings, due to yhe generosity and grace of that church and that other androgyne who had money saved for non church giving in Christ's name.

So ots not those who see with His heart that persecuye us and are soul killers.

It is the blind, the ignorant, the legalists, the modern day sanhedrin, the bigotted, the transphobic and the poor innocents that dont know betyer, that cause this harm.

The sword is the sword of the Spirit and of Truth, and I do not use it lightly, I use it in fear and great respect.

Without Christ I would be desd, hands down, and i'll tell that story in the other section for religion.

But I needed to counter the pain with this.  Those who see with His heart and hear with His love can see the difference.

It is my deepest pain too, I grieve. 

But the One who loves me has me in His arms, and you too desr ones, for those who follow this path.

I do not insist on this for others, this is my truth, I share it with you here.

Just as being a full transition androgyne is my truth.  I dont force that on anyone, but I demand that my identity be respected.

Warmest of hugs.

SJ.

I have shared some parts of my gender transition narrative here many times over the last 5+ years.  Knowledge of people who were comfortably non binary and transgender is a key that i did not posses before 2012.  Having been an active part of the LGBTQ+ world since 1975 I had met and loved many people who were lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and/or crossdressers but never considered myself one of them.  Then I attended a 2012 presentation about people who are transgender hosted by a person with a dark beard who said they were neither male or female and they used they, them and their pronouns.  AFAB, this presenter blew my mind and i was confronted with the stark realization that this was a truth I shared regardless of being AMAB.  I started working with a gender therapist soon after that and set myself free from the strictures and oppression of a lifetime.  What a relief!

Being non binary need not be seen as a threat or a transitional state but simply another way of being from birth onward.  We can clearly recognize that many people here have, want, and continue to seek, a very binary transition.  Being passable, able to fit in or go stealth are reasonable desires and reflect what we all might want which is to feel congruent in all ways.  Some of us obviously are simply women and men while I am neither.  Binary and non binary directed trans folks share similar histories and similar solutions such as counseling, HRT and surgical treatment.  Our shared goals include reduction of gender dysphoria, discrimination and prejudice.  We all benefit from reduction of harm while recognizing that diversity within this community is a reality and inclusion a practice that can get us all to a more equitable place.  We all get to stay on the bus.

Many of us talk about this innate, intrinsic sense of gender that we work to express in ways that feel and represent our most real and authentic self.  Gender is not necessarily validated by what we wear or how we behave and has so much cultural baggage as to be considered, by some, to be an obsolete construction and even obstruction to self actualization and cultural growth.

One particular area of my transition pointed this out to me and that is our voice.  Having a voice is far more profound to me than whether it sounds male or female.  I started working with a speech pathologist and learned some techniques for sounding "more female".  I also found myself feeling similar to before transition in that i was now trying to "act and sound" like a female person much as how I had once tried so very hard to act and sound like a guy.  No way i was going to free myself from one stereotype (male) only to jump into another boxed set of stereotypes for being considered female.  I let it go and am simply free to be me.  No lessons on comportment needed.  Wanna know more?  Well labels may not help us but getting to know you better will.

The truth I see all around me is that we are the products of our parents and culture and folks have long wondered whether nature or nurture has more to do with shaping our lives.  My nature was and continues to be more female while my nurturing or socialization was, for decades, as a boy and man.  I am an amalgam of all that I experienced.  That is an inescapable truth and one I honor by keeping my former first name as my middle name now.  The largest study of people who are self identified as transgender in the USA in 2015, found more than a third of us checking the box for non binary.  Having been involved with queer and trans support groups for decades that certainly fits with so many of the younger people I meet.

Now I am free to dress any way I choose and the days tasks may find me in a dress or heavy work clothes for farm and field.  I look different and sound different than most women or men and that is the truth and I hold my head high.  I am queer, transgender, I am here and I have found people do indeed get used to that.  No regrets here but in fact years of finally knowing myself and celebrating this personal liberty as the best part of my long interesting life.  No fighting or taking sides is needed but respecting another person's self identification and journey certainly helps.

Satinjoy, I am sorry I derailed your thread.  Tuesday night I had been as badly wounded as I have been in years and I needed someplace to find support.  This thread was open and going.  So I popped in, or maybe plopped.  The person that hurt me so badly was, as you describe, one of the poor innocents that don't know better, that cause this harm.  She does not have the tools to discern what is going on with the blind, the ignorant, the legalists, the modern day sanhedrin, the bigoted, and the transphobic and she just buys their nonsense.  I am certain she cares, she just does not have a clue how to relate to me.  She sees me as a man who claims to be a transgender woman.  If I tried to explain non-binary to her it would be an even more losing fight.  Having as few friends as I do I fight for relationships even when it hurts.  Tuesday night it really, REALLY, hurt.

I know believers who want to be on our side and have the connections to facilitate a change.  I rattled one of them hard enough to know for a fact he is genuine and he really wants to do good.  So I have no need to take a sword to him, but he is so inured in his doctrine he doesn't know that what he still clings to is still effectively death for us.  I am trying to work on this.  Being the complex mix of the various things I am might give me the gifts to do something worthwhile.  Being non-binary actually helps reach this group as I can seem, mostly, male and act as an ally.  I am working on something I feel called to do, and called with an increasing urgency.

I said I am in the chasm between the church and the transgender community.  This is a deep and wide chasm as the part of the church He has called me to try to reach includes some of our enemies.  One might say I will be a bridge.  I can not do that as it would let the harm on the other side get past the chasm.  The chasm is a powerful division, it is also a powerful protection to all Trans*.  I have to be careful where I step.

I am not putting down all people of faith as much as I might seem that way.  This may need an added word much as Frederick Douglass felt he had to at the end of his 1845 narrative of his life as a slave -- where he defined the difference between the religion he opposed and the one he embraced.  I keep being drawn to that quotation as work.

I was low enough Tuesday night that yesterday I went and saw my Pastor for prayer.  He wants to reach out to the LGBTQ community, but he does not know how.  He is one of the people in my church I am out to, and he accepts me as who I really am.  The prayer was effective.

I am sorry I dragged your thread over to my problem.  Please forgive me.


Erin

I love what is going on here.

If a support forum is to be effective, it needs to look at the deep things, the hard things.  It cannot degrade to makeup and dresses and binders and boobs, which are important anyway and even more so in trans puberty, but it should probe the hard places.

We die.   Its the truth and and we as trans people are all called to do something about it if we can.   Unfortunately it is too overwhelming to save folk, but we can save ourselves, share ourselves, and someone somewhere reads the experience and backs off the ledge, chooses to live another day.

We know the percentages, the tip of the iceberg of trans suffering.  But we also know the glorious whole of the joy of living trans too.  I get a little off about authenticity, actually there is an old thread on that which was fabulous, its just overused.  Living your truth however is so important, and that does not necessarily mean that we come out of stealth or flaunt our trans natures.  It means we are gently and rigorously honest with ourselves about who we are and what we are up against in our life experience.

Church is life experience, relations to binary and cis genders are life experience, eating, just ordering a milkshake can feel traumatic when you are trans.  I don't pitch my voice... much.  There are times when I do, I use the whisky Lauren Bacall voice, its sexy as heck and it works to pass.

But  most of the time as soon as I open my mouth, including when I am stealth she, I am outed.

And I don't give a rats behind about it, I am proud of who and what I am.

Yes the thread hijacked, but its necessary to vent the pain out. 

And we go back to our gentle topic, the boomerang.  I think there are a thousand reasons that it happens.  I think many binary trans folks are not as binary as they think and come to grips with that, without regret, later.  And many more, live a different experience and that's their truth and thats totally cool.  They are lovely people.

We all are, if we let ourselves be.  But when fear creeps into the picture, and the cis have a way of really doing that to us as soon as we aproach a bathroom and start worrying about passing, or worse, go in there and act male and scare the piss out of the women and omg look out.   And cis men do that faking us, its so aggravating.

I am so deep stealth in the ladies room you'd have to get out a magnifying glass to figure out I was a no op.

Now I digress lol. 

HRT, social pressures, it all creates the nonbinary trans boomerang.

In our cores we all know who we really are.  Some are nonbinary, some are binary, right to the core, and that's the whole family of trans.

You can tell I am defensive, probably, right now.  Its old stuff, I hope by now its dead stuff, but its hard to unlearn.

My journey started with a discovery that part of my pain was dysphoria.

It continued with what I am not, that in many ways, I am the bear in the human cage. The odd one out who knows both and does neither. And yet knew, from the roots of the void, that dark place, that whilst I was part in part. I was not wholly one, or the other. And this rose the question of what was this brew set to walk upon the earth. And how can it survive.

Rowan

A different take on the "boomerang"
I developed Dissociative Identity/Multiple Personality Disorder (DID/MPD) to cope with the trauma of childhood sexual and psychological abuse. Neither me nor any of my other 5 alters are transsexual. When my female alter became self aware in 2009 her need to express herself as a woman led me to question the genuineness of my solid lifelong male gender. The therapist I went to to help me understand what I was experiencing misdiagnosed me as a late onset transsexual with Gender Dysphoria. For two years of therapy the Self resisted my female alter's needs and my GT's insistence that I begin transition. As naturally and easily as it was for me to live life as a woman, I KNEW transition was NOT right for me. When the time/memory loss, flashbacks and night terrors began I was re-diagnosed with DID and referred for trauma recovery therapy. You can read more in my post, "Childhood Trauma Survivor Misdiagnosed as Transsexual with Gender Dysphoria" at https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,176195.msg1548804.html#msg1548804

Quote from: Virginia on August 03, 2018, 12:51:09 PM
A different take on the "boomerang"
I developed Dissociative Identity/Multiple Personality Disorder (DID/MPD) to cope with the trauma of childhood sexual and psychological abuse. Neither me nor any of my other 5 alters are transsexual. When my female alter became self aware in 2009 her need to express herself as a woman led me to question the genuineness of my solid lifelong male gender. The therapist I went to to help me understand what I was experiencing misdiagnosed me as a late onset transsexual with Gender Dysphoria. For two years of therapy the Self resisted my female alter's needs and my GT's insistence that I begin transition. As naturally and easily as it was for me to live life as a woman, I KNEW transition was NOT right for me. When the time/memory loss, flashbacks and night terrors began I was re-diagnosed with DID and referred for trauma recovery therapy. You can read more in my post, "Childhood Trauma Survivor Misdiagnosed as Transsexual with Gender Dysphoria" at https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,176195.msg1548804.html#msg1548804

I have a close friend with that, its pretty amazing to see it in action, and makes total sense to me.   Hers are able to talk to each other, so she has a lot of harmony, each has their own distinct personality traits.  And she also had mixed genders in it, but the ages seemed stuck and were pre puberty.   There was no issue about gender for her.

At the risk of being in the wrong thread, I'm more someone who is in some ways binary and in some ways non-binary.

My presentation is pretty binary femme.  I even want SRS (whenever I manage to lose 70 lbs. so the surgeon will approve me.)  I find masculinity off-putting, even triggering.

But I've never felt like I'm a woman -- or a man -- inside.  I don't identify with gender at all.  In fact, this is why I for a long time resisted thinking of myself as trans: I'd heard the "woman trapped in a man's body" thing and since I didn't feel that at all, I was sure I wasn't trans.  I just assumed that I was just really, really messed up.  (Well, that's actually true. )

For me, my goal has never to "be a woman," it's to transition to being myself.  I spent most of my life trying to be whatever the heck I was told I had to be, and doing a miserable job of it and hating it.  Now all I want to do is to live in a way that makes my few remaining years as comfortable as possible.

I've never felt it necessary to "present" as non-binary, I just wear whatever makes me feel good when I look at myself in the mirror.  And since I'm solidly gynophilic, what makes me feel good is looking like a woman.  But there's a lot of stuff that women (cis, but especially trans) are expected to do to "be women" that I just can't be bothered with.  Heels?  I can't be bothered (I can't say that they do anything for me when other women wear them, either.)  Make-up?  Well, for special occasions, but it's too much hassle most of the time.  Etc.  Of course, most of the cis women I know can't be bothered, either; in fact, I'm probably somewhat more femme than most of them.

So: am I a "real" enby or not?

Quote from: Virginia on August 03, 2018, 12:51:09 PM
...
I developed Dissociative Identity/Multiple Personality Disorder (DID/MPD) to cope with the trauma of childhood sexual and psychological abuse.
...

I was just at the Philadelphia Trans-Wellness Conference (PTWC), and it's kind of dismaying just how many of us suffer from childhood trauma of some kind or other.  It's a constant undercurrent.  But it's also good, in a way, since it means that I can talk about all that weird and painful stuff that freaks muggles out.  E.g., I can talk with my trans siblings about living with suicidal ideation and not have them want to call 911 on me.

I've only known one person with DID, and that not well.  They had alters of both genders, and I know they were trying to figure out if transitioning was right for them.  We could see that that could be pretty complicated.  I don't know what, if anything, they decided.

FWIW, at PTWC, they had a few sessions for DID (I don't remember what term they used.)  One was open and one was closed (i.e., for multiples only.)