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Homosex in a public park near you [blog]

Started by Shana A, March 25, 2008, 07:21:28 AM

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Purple Pimp

Lol, I love the title.  Where can I sign up?  ;D  Opening nationwide this summer, perhaps?

Lia
First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you would do. -- Epictetus
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buttercup

I agree there a more females abused, that is without a doubt.  But as I have said before, many males are also abused who do not report it.  The statistics of 1/7 is way off.

If we are going to go by statistics, how many pedophiles are there in the population?  Of course, you could only get the figures of those who were charged and imprisoned.  Now we ALL know that is not the true figure on how many pedophiles actually exist!!  So statistics in this case mean nothing at all!
I am trying to make a point here, that children, the emphasis being on children, should be protected at all costs. 

I know of several males who have never reported their abuse.  Two killed themselves in the last 5 yrs. Guys will not open up about it to another drinking buddy, ok?   Generally they will to females or a very sympathetic and non-judgemental male.

Our most famous ts entertainer, who was the first to have SRS in Australia, admitted in her autobiography that she was abused as a child by one of mother's male lovers.  She never reported it, and unfortunately she has no relationship with her mother.



Quote from: Nichole on March 26, 2008, 08:22:43 PM
Quote from: buttercup on March 25, 2008, 08:09:26 PM
Obviously, you haven't had much to do with children/child abuse or with people who have substance abuse! 

I have had. There are large numbers of people, mostly women, who turn to substance use as a way of trying to ameliorate abuse. There are men who do the same.

Neither group, with the research we have to date and with the experience I have with inner-city American populations in the south and the northeast, forms even close to a majority of substance abusers or dependents.

Indeed there are multiple reasons people give for using substances to include weight-loss and fitting-in.

As I am sure Tekla will vouch for, I hold no brief for Tekla. In fact, I am more likely to 'call' Tekla than most anyone else here. But, in this case I think the dislike is getting in the way of the facts given. Yet, this time, with the exception of the 'churches' statement, Tekla is mostly correct. 

Females are abused OVERWHELMINGLY more than males, adults or children makes no difference.

To label ALL of anything something is patently wrong, as well as untrue. Unless, of course, the label is something like "all humans are mortal."

I haven't a clue how many children, male and female, were abused sexually by priests. Trust me, in my own treatment practices there have been far more females than males abused -- there are more males than readily admit it among addicts who have spent or are spending time on the streets, but the incidence of females being abused in the same way is at least 2x higher than male sexual abuse of other males. Yet, I have never worked with a victim of abuse who has stated that their abuser was a priest, minister, imam or rabbi. So, in my experience the incidence of that is zero.

However many have reported abuse by fathers, step-fathers, uncles, and neighbors. An overwhelming majority of abused women are much more likely to be abused 'in the home' or 'in a safe place' than are males. Yet, females are told to 'never trust a stranger.'

OTH, males are mostly abused by strangers. Yet, males tend to feel safer among strangers. In fact we often encourage our sons to roam in one way or another.

The 'intuitions' we have about safety are skewed. Women are probably safer among strangers and guys are probably safer among relatives.

13 years of counseling and doing therapy with addicts who have also had mental illnesses & generally also have periods of homelessness.

Females are more likely to be re-abused sexually as adults than are males. Again, from simply populations I have worked with, but stats also show that to be true on an overall basis.

As a percentage of abusers relatives are probably number one -- especially if you include 'boyfriends' and second, third, fourth husbands. Priests, ministers and rabbis in comparison have a rather low rate of frequency overall, but tend to be focused on in a larger way due to media and cultural inclinations. Same is true for teachers, care-givers. And much of the media attention has centered on priests, Ashley. Not on protestant ministers of any variety.

Most of the focus on ministers has had to do with extra-marital w/ parishioners, or like the Haggard fellow, with male-prostitutes.

Tekla is absolutely correct about many of the statistics cited.

Is as much attention given to boys who are abused? No. And the way many boys are raised there are biases against report and treatment for them. Is that right? No, but, the projected differences are still not likely to bring their numbers up to anything like the abuse of female children. That seem unarguable to me. Again, most cultures tend to make certain their is opportunity for abuse of females, children and adults to a much greater degree than they do with males.

No one should be abused as a matter-of-course. But, as a matter-of-fact females have 'targets' painted on us to a much greater extent than males have.

Nichole

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debbie j

Quote from: Rebis on March 26, 2008, 09:07:58 PM

to me, if one person is hurt then we are all hurt.

i agree with you on that



What's the deal with homosex in the parks?   Sounds like a bad movie. "Homosex in the Park" - coming to a theater near you.  A fun loving family film by the people who brought you "The Lion King"


I don't think anyone wants to see it. nope but it does happen ::)

Why can't people just go back to their apartments and offices?  hard to say honestly . but i think it is the

fact they just dont give any  thought to going back to there place,


I wonder if the prudes are confusing 'sex' with 'holding hands'? could be as it is hard to say honestly but

then again it could be that they are maybe right . and well they was not holding hands. which at that

point they should have gone back to there place ::) ::)

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Dennis

Quote from: Rebis on March 26, 2008, 09:07:58 PM

to me, if one person is hurt then we are all hurt.



What's the deal with homosex in the parks?  Sounds like a bad movie. "Homosex in the Park" - coming to a theater near you.  A fun loving family film by the people who brought you "The Lion King"


I don't think anyone wants to see it.  Why can't people just go back to their apartments and offices?


I wonder if the prudes are confusing 'sex' with 'holding hands'?


Reebs, they're not. It's one of the more distasteful aspects of gay male culture, and not all or even that many gay men are into it, but public sex in parks is a very real part of gay men's lives. I think it's gross and I don't know why they can't just use a car or hotel room or home, but I think the kick is in having public sex.

I used to mountain bike before work in a park used by gay men for sex and riding over used condoms and occasionally underwear was not a pleasant thing. Glad I wasn't walking there or taking my kids there.

Dennis
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RebeccaFog


Thanks Dennis, I almost lost my breakfast.


as Tink would say, "EEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!"
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NicholeW.

Dennis is right, Rebis. That happens in all sorts of towns and cities in USA. And yes, there is a large EEEWWWWW aspect to it.

And there can be very real dangers about what your children will see, hear, etc in some areas and in some bathrooms in public parks.

Definitely a rather strange and disconcerting aspect of gay male life.

One I cannot and have not ever understood. I used to think it was just very closeted men who did this and then discovered that that ws not exactly true at all.

N~
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buttercup

It's called 'cottaging' and George Michael is someone famous who is into it.  ;D   ::)   :o
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RebeccaFog


There is some thought that Cary Grant was busted doing that once, but the police covered it up for him.
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