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How do I 'unStealth' myself and meet other Trans-Girls?

Started by PlanetEmma, August 04, 2018, 09:41:56 PM

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PlanetEmma

Hi All
I transitioned nearly 17 years ago. After the 'rush' of transition, meeting girls and guys pre-surgery, in hospital and briefly afterwards, life then settled down into 'stealth-lite' (a don't ask, don't tell existence) and amazingly, in the last 15 years, I'm not sure I have met more than 1 other trans-girl. I went to regular bars with work colleagues, gay bars with male friends, never went onto trans dating sites (a good place for CIS guys and hooks ups, but not my thing).

It didn't help I avoided social media for fear of being 'outed' by my previous life. So I just wondered...how do we reconnect, and unStealth when we're quite a long-time post-op? I'd love to.
It's so much more fun to be Trans it seems these days! Much more acceptance - thank you to everyone - though still a way to go.
Wonder if anyone else knows how to reconnect with our wonderful tribe if you're pasthanging in bars, and dating sites seem pretty one-dimensional? x
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HappyMoni

I have met 5 (soon to be 6) trans people by conversing with people here on Susan's. One of them actually traveled clear across the country when we met. Give it a try. We are a friendly bunch. Welcome to you Emma, my name is Moni, short for Monica. Glad to meet you.
If I ever offend you, let me know. It's not what I am about.
"Never let the dark kill your light!"  (SailorMars)

HRT June 11, 2015. (new birthday) - FFS in late June 2016. (Dr. _____=Ugh!) - Full time June 18, 2016 (Yeah! finally) - GCS June 27, 2017. (McGinn=Yeah!) - Under Eye repair from FFS 8/17/17 - Nose surgery-November 20, 2017 (Dr. Papel=Yeah) - Hair Transplant on June 21, 2018 (Dr. Cooley-yeah) - Breast Augmentation on July 10, 2018 (Dr. Basner in Baltimore) - Removed bad scarring from FFS surgery near ears and hairline in August, 2018 (Dr. Papel) -Sept. 2018, starting a skin regiment on face with Retin A  April 2019 -repairing neck scar from FFS

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DawnOday

Hello Emma. I have been transitioning on HRT for two years. I go weekly to support group meetings and have met some really nice people. My bar days are long over and this is the best way for me to assimilate. I found a website for the UK support groups. I hope you can find one in your area.  https://www.transunite.co.uk/
Dawn Oday

It just feels right   :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_kiss: :icon_kiss: :icon_kiss:

If you have a a business or service that supports our community please submit for our Links Page.

First indication I was different- 1956 kindergarten
First crossdress - Asked mother to dress me in sisters costumes  Age 7
First revelation - 1982 to my present wife
First time telling the truth in therapy June 15, 2016
Start HRT Aug 2016
First public appearance 5/15/17



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krobinson103

Hello,

I've been actively transitioning for almost a year now. I stay connected via Facebook groups and here but still keep a distance as I feel I don't want to jump into socializing in real life etc at this point.
Every day is a totally awesome day
Every day provides opportunities and challenges
Every challenge leads to an opportunity
Every fear faced leads to one more strength
Every strength leads to greater success
Success leads to self esteem
Self Esteem leads to happiness.
Cherish every day.
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KathyLauren

Hi, Emma, and welcome.

You could try looking up trans support groups in your area, maybe through some LGBT+ umbrella organization in your area.  At 17 years post -transition, you probably don't need much support yourself, but you are in a unique position to be able to give support to others.  And few things are quite as rewarding as helping others.
2015-07-04 Awakening; 2015-11-15 Out to self; 2016-06-22 Out to wife; 2016-10-27 First time presenting in public; 2017-01-20 Started HRT!!; 2017-04-20 Out publicly; 2017-07-10 Legal name change; 2019-02-15 Approval for GRS; 2019-08-02 Official gender change; 2020-03-11 GRS; 2020-09-17 New birth certificate
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Dani

I am only 3 years post op and I still go to support groups mainly because I feel a need to give back to other ladies who are now where I was just a few years ago. After some support group meetings a few of us go out to dinner.

I have also met a few ladies here on Susan's Place, especially if they live near me in South Florida.
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Sonja

@PlanetEmma

Hi Emma,

Right here on Susans is a great place to meet other trans people, its safe, and forgoes all the seedy nonsense of bars and dating sites. Quite a few people on Susans go on to meet up in real life, but there is also a wealth on information about other events for transgender people on the website also.

Take care,

Sonja.
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PlanetEmma

Quote from: HappyMoni on August 04, 2018, 10:17:38 PM
I have met 5 (soon to be 6) trans people by conversing with people here on Susan's. One of them actually traveled clear across the country when we met. Give it a try. We are a friendly bunch. Welcome to you Emma, my name is Moni, short for Monica. Glad to meet you.

Hi Moni - That's really lovely to hear, I am smiling here! Thank you. I'll try to chat to some of you and hopefully make some connections. I'm actually new to the US from London....here for the next few years....I'm currently in TX with plans to move to NM later in the year and then possibly PTown next Summer/fall. It's going to be a lot of fun - and exciting to feel there's a way to reconnect. Thanks Moni!
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PlanetEmma

Quote from: DawnOday on August 04, 2018, 10:43:31 PM
Hello Emma. I have been transitioning on HRT for two years. I go weekly to support group meetings and have met some really nice people. My bar days are long over and this is the best way for me to assimilate. I found a website for the UK support groups. I hope you can find one in your area.  https://www.transunite.co.uk/

Hi Dawn - That's really kind of you. I'm originally from the UK, but have found myself in the US for the next few years, so it's going to be fun to experience trans-life in the US for a while too. Strangely enough...and get this...My neighbour on the next floor down is a trans-guy (what are the chances)...and somehow (mystic) we got chatting and he's become my first US pal! He was thrilled to have a trans-neighbour too! So nice to have someone who texts 'fancy a coffee.' Yes! Maybe the Karma is working...baby steps!
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PlanetEmma

Quote from: KathyLauren on August 05, 2018, 06:49:28 AM
Hi, Emma, and welcome.

You could try looking up trans support groups in your area, maybe through some LGBT+ umbrella organization in your area.  At 17 years post -transition, you probably don't need much support yourself, but you are in a unique position to be able to give support to others.  And few things are quite as rewarding as helping others.
Thanks Kathy - Seems like you're all pointing me to the trans support groups so that seems like a good place to start! For sure I don't really need support myself, but if nothing else perhaps I can offer encouragement for the future with both the potential for relationships and careers. I've been fortunate to have more success in work as a female than before transition and some wonderful loving relationships with CIS girls since transition too - they actually liked my athletic figure (urgh!) sense of adventure/mischief....that perhaps a lot of us may have. Perhaps I can help some people overcome some fears. I hope so x
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PlanetEmma

Quote from: Sonja on August 05, 2018, 09:19:42 PM
@PlanetEmma

Hi Emma,

Right here on Susans is a great place to meet other trans people, its safe, and forgoes all the seedy nonsense of bars and dating sites. Quite a few people on Susans go on to meet up in real life, but there is also a wealth on information about other events for transgender people on the website also.

Take care,

Sonja.

Sonja

You're a gem, thank you. I can see that this is going to more fun than I thought. My newly-discovered neighbour has just mentioned a local support group....where he recalls meeting some trans-girls.....but it was a while back. Right....here we go Mr Google!
It's crazy, I spent all of those years anxious about being 'outed' in the UK - and yet I'm sure all of my friends and colleagues knew - they were so lovely and supportive - and I bet just dying for me to feel relaxed enough to be open with them. Sometimes we build our own walls maybe...But no more!
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PlanetEmma

Quote from: Dani on August 05, 2018, 08:44:55 PM
I am only 3 years post op and I still go to support groups mainly because I feel a need to give back to other ladies who are now where I was just a few years ago. After some support group meetings a few of us go out to dinner.

I have also met a few ladies here on Susan's Place, especially if they live near me in South Florida.

Hi Dani - I'll try this for sure. I confess that I never contacted a support group after 'op.' I just moved to far, far, away land and left my old life completely. I truly started again from scratch - what amazing life stories we all have. It will be a really great start to see if there's some social activity tied to the support. Thanks again, Emma x
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PlanetEmma

Quote from: krobinson103 on August 05, 2018, 12:59:20 AM
Hello,

I've been actively transitioning for almost a year now. I stay connected via Facebook groups and here but still keep a distance as I feel I don't want to jump into socializing in real life etc at this point.

Hi K - (Sorry I don't know your full name), it seems I'm going to have to bite the bullet and join you and the rest of the world and go with the Facebook thing at last. I love to socialise - I just didn't know how to find our girls and guys....but now I get the sense with a little bit of putting myself about, perhaps a bit of travel....the world will turn from black and white...and our community will be revealed!
I do hope you might feel able to socialize in the not to distant future - it's the most exciting and nerve-wracking and heart-thumping thing I think I've ever done - those first few times - and I'm sure we all share that. You have a fab photo and that's a great start to feel able to post your photo...even that can be daunting for some girls and guys.
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krobinson103

Quote from: PlanetEmma on August 05, 2018, 10:46:01 PM
Hi K - (Sorry I don't know your full name), it seems I'm going to have to bite the bullet and join you and the rest of the world and go with the Facebook thing at last. I love to socialise - I just didn't know how to find our girls and guys....but now I get the sense with a little bit of putting myself about, perhaps a bit of travel....the world will turn from black and white...and our community will be revealed!
I do hope you might feel able to socialize in the not to distant future - it's the most exciting and nerve-wracking and heart-thumping thing I think I've ever done - those first few times - and I'm sure we all share that. You have a fab photo and that's a great start to feel able to post your photo...even that can be daunting for some girls and guys.

I have no fear of it. I'm out to the world living full time etc. I just don't feel the need to meet a lot of people. Always been that way. Make a few close friends and thats enough for me. Heck I even front our local union chapter at work and I don't hide my past. :) I just don't feel the need to be active in the trans community at the moment. I have no fear of that either did so a lot in the gay community. Guess I'm in a reflective / settling phase right now. My name is Kelly.
Every day is a totally awesome day
Every day provides opportunities and challenges
Every challenge leads to an opportunity
Every fear faced leads to one more strength
Every strength leads to greater success
Success leads to self esteem
Self Esteem leads to happiness.
Cherish every day.
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DawnOday

That's so cool. To have someone to relate to is such a great feeling. My first visit to a support group ended with Evelyn walking up to me and giving me a big hug. It has started a friendship that I cherish so much. I hope everything just expands from there for you. Keep me appraised please. I love success stories.
Dawn Oday

It just feels right   :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_kiss: :icon_kiss: :icon_kiss:

If you have a a business or service that supports our community please submit for our Links Page.

First indication I was different- 1956 kindergarten
First crossdress - Asked mother to dress me in sisters costumes  Age 7
First revelation - 1982 to my present wife
First time telling the truth in therapy June 15, 2016
Start HRT Aug 2016
First public appearance 5/15/17



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