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Wow! Oh no!

Started by anne_indy, August 18, 2018, 04:04:59 PM

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anne_indy

Does anyone else have this problem? Have been on a moderate dose of Spiro + Estradiol since February. I had been on a low dose before, but stopped for about 5 months. The "WOW" part is that I realize that my breast ARE developing. That's exciting in that my body is taking on the form that reflects my internal identity. The "Oh No!" part is my breast ARE developing. For right now, I need to stay hidden. I met with my HRT doctor the other day, but the size of my development had not hit me so strongly when I met with her. I can think of 2 options - 1) stop altogether, or 2) cut E-dose in half for a while. Anyone else have this problem? If so, how did you deal with it?

Thanks,
Anne


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Northern Star Girl

Quote from: anne_indy on August 18, 2018, 04:04:59 PM
Does anyone else have this problem? Have been on a moderate dose of Spiro + Estradiol since February. I had been on a low dose before, but stopped for about 5 months. The "WOW" part is that I realize that my breast ARE developing. That's exciting in that my body is taking on the form that reflects my internal identity. The "Oh No!" part is my breast ARE developing. For right now, I need to stay hidden. I met with my HRT doctor the other day, but the size of my development had not hit me so strongly when I met with her. I can think of 2 options - 1) stop altogether, or 2) cut E-dose in half for a while. Anyone else have this problem? If so, how did you deal with it?

Thanks,
Anne

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@anne_indy
Dear Anne:
First off, do not alter the dosages of any meds that your doctor has prescribed to you WITHOUT talking to your doctor.... this is very important!!!

Be careful what you wish for!!!! 
Yes indeed, blocking T (Spiro) will kick-start the breast growing process... you can hide it for a while with loose fitting shirts and with a loose fitting undershirt beneath it. 

Also patterned shirts and shirts with pockets at breast level will do a good job of hiding... but just for a while.  After that a snug low-profile sports bra will help.

Again, be careful what you wish for.
Hugs,
Danielle


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I started HRT March 2015 and
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I am 45 years old and Single

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Shambles

My advise is to embrace it! Im not on hrt but do have c cup boobage going on. I wear tigher t shirts when possible and in colours that show them off more. In the last 6 months while theyve been obvious not one person has asked me about it. It shows im different, it shows im not the majority, it shows i can be confidant with them when a cis person would be ashamed and hide them away. Yes its a valid option to try and hide till your further down the path but its just as valid to say this is me. Put on a bra that fits well, shoulders back, chest out as if to say to all come at me.as im not going anywhere.

Whatever you decide to do i would say dont alter meds unless u have spoken to your doc.

Stay safe x
- Jo / Joanna

Pre-HRT Trans-Fem
16th Nov 17 - Came out to myself
7th Jan 18 - Came out to wife
31st Jan 18 - Referred to GIC / might be seen in 2020
Oct 18 - Fully out at one job, part out at another
Nov 18 - Out to close family
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KatieP

I second the one-size-too-small sports bra. They hid the B-cup girls at work for many years in my case.

I would also say that depending on how observant people are around you, they might not notice lots of other changes. I have noted elsewhere that for 30 years at work, no one noticed me wearing mascara every day, the over-plucked eyebrows (Thanks 80s!) or the fact that the only "male" clothes I wore were the logoed company shirts they gave me. I have another co-worker in the UK who laughed at that, saying her co-workers noticed the clear nail polish on her hands. Maybe it's a US vs UK thing. Maybe not.

I would think that unless your typical activities include swiming, you can "hide" for quite a while...
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Devlyn

I made the decision that I'd accept my body with breasts long before the first pill crossed my lips.
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KathyLauren

I couldn't wait for my breasts to grow, so I didn't face the same dilemma.  They were easy to hide for the three months I needed to do that.

Just the other day, I saw a man (I presume), about my age, who had bigger boobs than I do.  I told my wife that there is no justice!  But it is not uncommon for males to be put on estrogen as a treatment for prostate cancer.  The side effect is that those men grow boobs.  Most people are used to seeing men with boobs or moobs.  It is not generally a cause for comment.
2015-07-04 Awakening; 2015-11-15 Out to self; 2016-06-22 Out to wife; 2016-10-27 First time presenting in public; 2017-01-20 Started HRT!!; 2017-04-20 Out publicly; 2017-07-10 Legal name change; 2019-02-15 Approval for GRS; 2019-08-02 Official gender change; 2020-03-11 GRS; 2020-09-17 New birth certificate
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Katie Jade

Hi - I'm using a compression vest thing used to hide moobs. Its very uncomfortable in that I have to go to the toilet to let some blood back into my girls a few times a day. I have no idea what effect this will have on them but they are at least B after 7 months.
Hedging my bets I have talked to HR and the lead Manager  is she really positive for me etc (see previous posts). it looks like its boobs first into the fray for me.

Seriously though I wear loose shirts and a jacket all the time, unfortunately my hair is up to 8" long now and a few people are asking questions.. Whatever, the day goes on the sun goes round and we will all be there tomorrow. everyone, looking forward to seeing gran again.

Im off- Gn

Luv n Hugz

Ktie

:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:

Post Op Sept 2023...... that took a very long time....
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anne_indy

thank you all for your replies.

@Danielle - yes I fully agree. I won't make any changes without approval with doctor. But she has given me some flexibility with dosage and would even like to increase the dosage.

I find that black clothes tend to mask the shape a bit, too. Just picked up a black rash guard for diving so that may help when out in the open.

@Jo - I do embrace it - love it! But I currently live in a part of the world that doesn't embrace us as a group. For the locals like us, the consequences can be life threatening.  And I still need to be there for a while longer.

@ Katie - yes, I think I will pick up a couple of sports bras while here in the US, as well as a new prescription for meds. I usually get a 6 months supply. When I went to the pharmacy the other day they didn't not have a sufficiently supply to provide the 6 month prescription the doc had ordered.

@Devlyn - I was also hoping to get some emotional effect that might help buy me some time while still working in the environment I'm in. Haven't gotten any emotional effect, but certainly am getting several physical effects.

@Kathy - so maybe I can get away with it. I'm old enough that maybe I can just tell people my testosterone is dropping, and this is a consequence of the testosterone decrease. Of course, my T really is dropping, but because of the Spiro.

@Katie Jade - I wish I could go to HR and discuss my situation. While the individual might be supportive, HR corporately would not be supportive, and it would be an immediate boot.

Again, thanks to you all. This is such a fascinating process that we have to go through to bring congruence between our mind and bodies. I wish the world could understand and accept us. But outside North America and Europe, the world is not so tolerant. The wheels are in motion, I just have to figure out how to manage the throttle.

Anne




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Anne Blake

Hi Anne,

Knowing your situation, this is a tough place to be in. How do you think growing breasts will be accepted on the home front? Get hold of me if you want to talk it over and we will be praying for you. You said that they are growing, I will assume that they are probably sensitive or down right sore as well. That may be more difficult to disguise that prominent bumps.

Good luck and love you girl,
Tia & Deb
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anne_indy

Yes. Very tender!! I have to be careful about not expressing the pain when they are bumped. A long time friend came up from behind and gave me a bear hug around the chest. It was all I could do to hold in a loud yelp.


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Northern Star Girl

Quote from: anne_indy on August 19, 2018, 10:32:12 AM
Yes. Very tender!! I have to be careful about not expressing the pain when they are bumped. A long time friend came up from behind and gave me a bear hug around the chest. It was all I could do to hold in a loud yelp.


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@anne_indy
Well, hang on, there is much more to come for you in your exciting transition journey.
Please continue to keep us updated.  We are eager to follow your life events.

We are your biggest fans... wishing your well.
Danielle
****Help support this website by:
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to read more details about me and my life.
  ❤️❤️❤️
             (Click Links below):  [Oldest first]
  Aspiringperson is now Alaskan Danielle    
           I am the Hunted Prey : Danielle's Chronicles    
                  A New Chapter: Alaskan Danielle's Chronicles    
                             Danielle's Continuing Life Adventures
I started HRT March 2015 and
I've been Full-Time since December 2016.
I love living in a small town in Alaska
I am 45 years old and Single

        Email:  --->  alaskandanielle@
                             yahoo.com
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anne_indy

Thanks Danielle - I'll do what I can. I think I have mentioned before that I'm only able to write when I'm in Europe or North America. The rest of the time, I live where I need to be discreet with my communications.


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DawnOday

Even on low dose your breasts will grow. Also look into the Spiro. I was on it for 25 years for heart failure. It is a diuretic. It gave me  A size man boobs and ruined my sex drive. Since I began HRT two years ago they have grown to C size. I can no longer just wear loose clothing so I have resorted to wearing a binder when I absolutely have to appear male, which is becoming less and less as time goes on. One caveat, Don't try to put it on a sweaty body. You will lose. I order from GC2B.co
Dawn Oday

It just feels right   :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_kiss: :icon_kiss: :icon_kiss:

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First indication I was different- 1956 kindergarten
First crossdress - Asked mother to dress me in sisters costumes  Age 7
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First time telling the truth in therapy June 15, 2016
Start HRT Aug 2016
First public appearance 5/15/17



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KatieP

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Virginia

I understand the potential for self consciousness, but you concerns likely have more to do with the SpotLight/Transparency Effect than being any sort of giveaway if the rest of your presentation is solidly masculine. I have been on a typical transition level HRT regimen for 9 years. The only comment I get from anyone about my 34B breasts when I go without a shirt is that I have "great pecs." That said, my female alter turns alot of heads when she wears a bikini at the beach.  With as common an additive as estrogen has become, and the general tendency of people to be overweight, more and more guys have Gynecomastia and manboobs.  The only person who would likely notice, or for that matter care, is you.
~VA (pronounced Vee- Aye, the abbreviation for the State of Virginia where I live)
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anne_indy

Thanks for your reply, Virginia. Unfortunately, for me there are some real risks. So I do need to be careful.


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anne_indy

In the midst of 18 hours of flying I am emerging from behind a veil of internet silence into the the more open world for the holidays and time with family. So I can catch up a little on both reading and sharing here.

I've written in the past regarding my uncertain relationship with HRT. My past statements have been that I have feIt little or no emotonal changes from my HRT. Rather, my changes have been more on the physical and biochemical side -

- some weight loss from the effect of Spiro
- decreased body odor
- some breast development
- more slowly growing beard and body hair

But maybe I am experiencing some emotional changes. They are subtle which is the reason I use "maybe". One has been recently when I am with a group of people. I've felt a stronger desire to express myself in a more feminine manner. Social interactions have always been a strong dysphoric experience for me as I feel I am invisible because I must "pretend" to present my male persona and withhold my female self. What does it mean for me to pretend? Withholding a softer more expressive side of me. Withholding emotions. Care in how I touch people. And of course being fully male in dress and mannerisms in general.

My long flying and traveling episodes give me time to catch up on movies. On my flight today I was watching "Crazy Rich Asians". I found my cheeks quite damp for significant parts of it. I've always been a softy for emotionally touching movies. But I thought my response was greater than in the past, and particularly for a more romantic movie.

Finally, while sitting in the airport for a couple of hours in Europe, I was able to catch up on Danielle's "Hunted Prey" which I hadn't looked at since my last foray from behind the veil. As she described her steamy encounter with "shy Guy, Suitor #3" I found myself imagining myself in her situation and feeling the combination of physical sensations and emotional stress that she described. Maybe it was her skillful writing that drew me in, but I think in part those little blue pills are gradually rewiring, or opening previously blocked neural pathways.


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Northern Star Girl

@anne_indy
Dear Anne:
Thank you for your latest update and coming back to your thread
to allow your followers to follow your life events... !!!!   
I have been wondering where you have been for the last 4 months.

Your descriptions of your noted changes as a result of your HRT regimen are things that are quite common events for most transitioners.   Some will experience more significant changes more quickly and some will experience changes more slowly.  It is entirely up to YOUR unique body and your genes...  the old adage here on the Forums is YMMV, meaning Your Mileage May Vary....   every body is different.  One thing is for sure, Patience is Required, for usually nothing happens very quickly with HRT, but it will happen.

Regarding emotional changes, I fully agree with you, and as you described I also cry more easily, I am more empathetic and I am more expressive.  I am watching more and more Romance movies that I have ever done before... and I keep a tissue box nearby to dry off my eyes and cheeks.

I am flattered and quite glad that you find my Hunted Prey thread of interest.   Some years ago I would have never imagined the stressful and the happy emotional things that I am experiencing and dealing with today.... in most cases, very pleasurable for sure, with a few potholes along the way.
I am trusting and hoping that what I share on my thread will be helpful and encouraging to other transitioners as they travel down their own transition road.

I trust that you are continuing to do well on your transition road and I hope that you can keep your thread updated as you feel so led.
Thank you for sharing and posting.

Hugs and more hugs,
Danielle


****Help support this website by:
Subscribing !     and/or by    Donating !

❤️❤️❤️  Check out my Personal Blog Threads below
to read more details about me and my life.
  ❤️❤️❤️
             (Click Links below):  [Oldest first]
  Aspiringperson is now Alaskan Danielle    
           I am the Hunted Prey : Danielle's Chronicles    
                  A New Chapter: Alaskan Danielle's Chronicles    
                             Danielle's Continuing Life Adventures
I started HRT March 2015 and
I've been Full-Time since December 2016.
I love living in a small town in Alaska
I am 45 years old and Single

        Email:  --->  alaskandanielle@
                             yahoo.com
  •  

anne_indy

Just a quick update. I have been continuing on a low dose HRT. It provides some small physical change - some breast development. I constantly oscillate between thinking that I can get through the rest of my life in male mode and therefore, I can stop HRT. Then,  as soon as I stop HRT, I soon start again as I don't want to lose the slowly feminizing effects that it has. My supervising doctor has given me the green light to up the dosage, but because of my circumstances, I have kept it low.  My caution is driven by concern for those that are dependent on me, and living in a part of the world where transition is not condoned. From reading many threads here on the Susan's, I am not alone in my ups and downs.I am envious of our sisters who have been able to move solidly forward moving from total fear, toward complete transition.

I will soon go quiet for a while as I return home and will be off the web at least for non-business related stuff. So that puts me in the situation of being in the "shadows" until my next visit to the west.


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NatalieRene

Quote from: anne_indy on August 18, 2018, 04:04:59 PM
Does anyone else have this problem? Have been on a moderate dose of Spiro + Estradiol since February. I had been on a low dose before, but stopped for about 5 months. The "WOW" part is that I realize that my breast ARE developing. That's exciting in that my body is taking on the form that reflects my internal identity. The "Oh No!" part is my breast ARE developing. For right now, I need to stay hidden. I met with my HRT doctor the other day, but the size of my development had not hit me so strongly when I met with her. I can think of 2 options - 1) stop altogether, or 2) cut E-dose in half for a while. Anyone else have this problem? If so, how did you deal with it?

Thanks,
Anne


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A sports bra and a loose or layered shirt can help camouflage them.

What are you seeking in HRT? Are you transitioning? If so I wouldn't suggest cutting the dose or stopping.

Edit: oh my just noticed that this is an older thread. I'll read further sorry about posting without reading more first.
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