Hi I'm Tava,

I just registered on Susans a few days ago, but I have been following the forums for about a month and they have been wonderfully helpful in sorting things out in my head. I've had gender dysphoria all my life though for the longest time I misidentified it and did everything I could to wipe it out, pretend it wasn't there, but it never went away.  For the past two years I suspected that I was trans, kept reading about it, but had a hard time acknowledging it. This safe place has become very important to me and I can now acknowledge that I am a trans woman. I am 70 yrs. young and am loving who I really am. The future is a bit scary but I'm ready. I have been married for the past 22 years and care deeply for my wife who has been a wonderful friend and partner. She has been severely disabled for 13 yrs. now and I am looking after her 24/7. I cannot tell her any of this. I know she would not be able to accept it and I would never want to add to her suffering. For this reason I am not able to pursue transitioning right now but I am so glad that I was able to come out to my self and find again the part of me that I lost. This is plenty for me to deal with and I look forward to the future.

@tava
Hello Tava:   
Thank you for following the suggestion and the LINK that our lovely Official Greeter  @KathyLauren  gave to you on her Welcome Message to you yesterday on another thread to come here to the Introductions Forum.... and thank you for your first postings.

Now that you have written your introduction post here you will now be seen by many members here on the forums and will able to have more give and take and sharing of thoughts with other like-minded members here.
There is a good chance too that you can make some new friends here on the forums.

Please be certain to look at the Susan's Place informational LINKS that  KathyLauren included at the end of her Welcome Message on that other thread.   Pay particular attention to the LINKS IN RED, there will be answers for questions that most new members will ask.

Again, Welcome to Susan's Place,
Danielle

Quote from: tava on August 19, 2018, 02:56:32 PM
Hi I'm Tava,

I just registered on Susans a few days ago, but I have been following the forums for about a month and they have been wonderfully helpful in sorting things out in my head. I've had gender dysphoria all my life though for the longest time I misidentified it and did everything I could to wipe it out, pretend it wasn't there, but it never went away.  For the past two years I suspected that I was trans, kept reading about it, but had a hard time acknowledging it. This safe place has become very important to me and I can now acknowledge that I am a trans woman. I am 70 yrs. young and am loving who I really am. The future is a bit scary but I'm ready. I have been married for the past 22 years and care deeply for my wife who has been a wonderful friend and partner. She has been severely disabled for 13 yrs. now and I am looking after her 24/7. I cannot tell her any of this. I know she would not be able to accept it and I would never want to add to her suffering. For this reason I am not able to pursue transitioning right now but I am so glad that I was able to come out to my self and find again the part of me that I lost. This is plenty for me to deal with and I look forward to the future.

I am so happy you have been able to reveal yourself. I know the difficulty of carrying on a relationship where you actually love your wife as I have for 35 years. But I discovered I married my best friend and that matters more than our sex life. I have been able to live the last two years with the stability of a female brain. Immediately I felt that my brain was absorbing hormones that it formed on, as I am a DES son. My wife is disabled too. She had her leg amputated due to diabetes about 4 years ago. But she still works everyday. The weight of revealing a life long secret is immediately life changing. I no longer suffer from life long depression and self hate. I am meeting and making friends for the first time in many, many years. Everyone that I love from Jo to my kids and brother and sister all support me. even if they don't always understand it. I hope you both realize that you have an enduring, loving relationship where the persons come first. I wish you as much peace as I have gained.

Welcome

Though I have nothing to say to your situation I wish you be strong in your circumstances. You have bright attitude. Even if you have no possibilities right now to be who you are in real life you'll find safe place here

Hi Tava 

Welcome to Susan's Place    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M

Dear Tava,

Lovely to have you here.

My wife has been paraplegic for many years and we love each other deeply. I can no longer look after her at home but we live each others lives totally.

She accepted me and I am very fortunate for that and I totally understand your predicament.

If I can ever be of any help just let me know.

Cindy

Thanks to everyone for such wonderful support. I never imagined that anyone would be in such similar circumstances as my own.

Dawn mentioned DES and this raised some questions for me. I was born in 1948 and my mother had a miscarriage in 1946 during her first pregnancy and became pregnant with me in 1947. I have no way of knowing whether my mother took DES, but it was being given to women within this time frame. I gather that there is some kind of link between being a DES son and developing a transgender identity. Can anyone tell me more about this or suggest where to look?

Thanks,
Tava

Quote from: tava on August 20, 2018, 02:27:28 PM
Thanks to everyone for such wonderful support. I never imagined that anyone would be in such similar circumstances as my own.

Dawn mentioned DES and this raised some questions for me. I was born in 1948 and my mother had a miscarriage in 1946 during her first pregnancy and became pregnant with me in 1947. I have no way of knowing whether my mother took DES, but it was being given to women within this time frame. I gather that there is some kind of link between being a DES son and developing a transgender identity. Can anyone tell me more about this or suggest where to look?

Thanks,
Tava

A place to start is in the Wiki
https://www.susans.org/wiki/Diethylstilbestrol

There are also articles in Wikipedia and threads on the Forum on DES.

Welcome to Susan's Place. We have a running thread on DES that you might also find interesting. It's located here and while it's not terribly active, posting on it seems to bring HughE back to the site.

Tava.. There is a DES support group called http:\\www.DESACTION.Org   The shame is that all medical records are gone so there is no real way to prove it. But a rundown of the symptoms from micro penis to late descending tetes to Congestive Heart Failure and Diabetes all seem to suggest that I am right in my diagnosis.  Here is something else you may be interested in.
http://www.avitale.com/developmentalreview.htm

Thanks for the references. I'll follow up on them.

Tava