I am 36, not transitioning or full time just yet, but I have gotten to the point mentally where if I don't express the real girl in me then I'm just miserable.

I'm married to a wonderful woman who supports my gender fluidity fully and have two small girls. At this time transition just isn't an option I want to engage, so instead I've been trying to express my genuine feminine side as and where I can. I'm way the point where my wardrobe, makeup, and hair are passable, but as soon as I speak it's over.

Id really like to go out and do stuff outside the home to get more practice and feel more fulfilled.

I have been thinking about going golfing or taking golf lessons en femme. I probably wouldn't run into anyone I know and most importantly from a distance I'm totally passable. I have even picked out a couple cute golf skirts and shirt combos, and we have an extra pair of women's clubs with a pink bag to complete the ensemble.

I'm kind of nervous though as golf clubs are also frequented by older patrons who might be less accepting. I'm terrified of having an incident or being confronted.

I'm pretty sure I'm going to go give this a try but I'm very curious to hear if anyone had had a similar experience and could share their thought with me.

Thanks in advance,
Sasha

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I have golfed wearing women's shorts instead of men's.  That worked fine except that I ended up a sweaty mess (walking in the heat) and it was a little hard on the shorts.  I would not wear something that was functionally inappropriate for the sport.  I don't know if you were planning on playing as a single.  If so, be aware many places would prefer to pair you up with other people, so you might be interacting with strangers on the tee box and on the greens.  If it were me, I would use my regular clubs and play off the tees I usually do, but you could do everything women's and play off the short tees.  Could be interesting.  Good luck, and have fun.

It you want to pass on a golf course you need to learn old-style etiquette rules.  That may help you blend in more than anything else,

I still golf two to three times a week.  Last summer before I was fully out in mid August  I mostly wore andogynous styled women's shorts and women's polo shirts.  During the week I usually play early in the morning  and alone, but I've meet and been friendly with a few other regulars.

On the weekends I usually play with a friend I've known for over 25 years and he never said anything until I told him. He and the others that play with us have been great.  They're still getting used to the pronouns, but don't slip on the name too much anymore.  Tomorrow I'm playing in his group in an outing that his dental practice sponsors so guess that means it's cool with him.

Shortly after that,  one of the regulars at my weekday course approached me and asked me if I was transitioning.  The grounds crew had apparently noticed that I looked different and had asked him since they knew I had golfed with him before. He was fine with it, as has every one else I've interacted with at the course. No one has said anything to me at least.  There was one morning regular that I thought might have issue as he used to hint at finding God when we had played together.  He got married last year and his wife golfs with him most of the time now but I run into them most days I'm there. He was the one that this year asked what my name was now and has been really good with using it and the proper pronouns.  I'm guessing he's told others and other than signing the member log Tonya, I've never told anyone else my name and have been greeted by staff that I don't usually see with "hi Tonya".

To weave back to topic, after my unofficial coming out, I have worn a golf skirt on the course a few times.   Definitely wear a skirt or more likely a skort that is designed for athletic wear if not golf specifically, especially if you will be walking and/or it's hot out.

Golf (and sports in general) played a role in my thinking that I would never be able to transition.  Those were "guy" things that I did and liked I tried to keep those separate from my "girl" feelings.  Once I started trying to figure out this whole trans thing, it got a lot easier when I was able to realize that I could still do those "guy" things as a woman. 

I've been on hormone therapy for 18 months now and still play from the same tee box that I did last few years, even the few times that I've been paired up with other women.  If anything,  I'm hitting it farther than I did last year. I'm 6'2" so men's clubs are my best option. 

Being fully out at the golf course and to my friend I am considering as my official full time day, one year ago last Sunday.








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I only played golf a couple of times. It was horrible the second time because so many people had to play through. It kinda ok because all of us sucked but still.

Have you considered whether you want to live in stealth, and if expressing yourself is more important than passing? Depending on your needs, it may be important to develop a feminine voice before going any further.

@VancityAndrea
Dear Sasha   
I am so glad that you have become a member of Susan's Place and that you have shared your interesting and detailed introduction posting with other members here on the Forums. 

I am thinking that you may lots more questions and concerns, this is the right place for you to be to find out what others have done that may have been in your circumstances.
 
Be aware that there are a lot of members here that can identify with your situation as you feel free to share it.

Please allow me to warmly WELCOME you to Susan's Place. 
You will find this a safe and friendly place to share with others  and to read about others similar trials, tribulations, and successes.
It is nice that you had signed up so you can share with others and involve yourself with some give and take with other like-minded members.  When frustrated or if you have successes you can share it here if you wish and receive support from others and offer support to others. ....

***It's a very good chance that you might find that you will make some new friends here. 

Please come in and continue to be involved at your own pace. 
I have included Important LINKS that will tell you about Susan's Place.  Included there is information about the site that will help you navigate around and best utilize the features here.   
Please look closely at the LINKS in RED, answers are there to many questions that new members ask.

Again, Welcome to Susan's Place.
Danielle

Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that all new members should be familiar with:

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By	Standard Terms & Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)	Cautionary Note
Reputation rules	News posting & quoting guidelines	Photo, avatars, & signature images policy	Membership Agreement

@VancityAndrea
Oh, and another thing, Sasha:
Please stop by the Introductions Forum to tell the members about yourself. 

By posting some brief information there about yourself you will find that more members will be aware of your arrival at the Forums and you can therefore be exposed to more give and take... and beneficial sharing.

Thank you again for joining Susan's Place and being involved in the Forums here.
Best Wishes to you.
Danielle

Thanks very much Danielle for the warm welcome. It feels great to be virtually surrounded by peers. I had spent the majority of my life hiding in denial so even simple thing like conversing online with you girls who have similar experiences it's very powerful for me right now.

Virginia, you bring up a valid point. At 24 I was completely committed to transitioning, and lived for almost a year as a woman, Andrea, working three terrible jobs to get by, taking illegal hormones because here in BC you had to do a year long real life test before the doctors would even talk to you, and that we generally one of the happiest times of my life. Unfortunately, I was the victim of a horrible crime perpetrated against me because I was trans girl. My reaction to that experience was to immediately cease any female life. I reverted to my male self and never told anyone what really happened until earlier this year when my wonderful loving wife coaxed it out of me.

Since then we have been exploring my inner identity together. She is my partner no matter what. At this time transition is not on the table at neither of us are ready or willing to face the sacrifices it entails. That's why I'm in the shadows, but at least now I have a reading lamp and a supportive partner to curl up to as we explore this hidden side of myself.

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I play golf well over 100 times a year.  It's a big part of my social life.  I golf en femme about a dozen times a year and love it.  I'll play with my wife as a twosome or go alone and get paired up with another single twosome or threesome.  I pass easily and am a better golfer than most anyone I'm paired with.  Doing activities that you normally love to do en femme is very fulfilling.

Suggestions for you:

Work on your voice

Wear solar sleeves if you need to cover your muscular arms or wear long sleeve women golf shirts

Skirts I love but Capri golf pants work too if you are concerned about muscular legs

I also have worn nude color pantyhose with my skirts sometimes when it is a bit cooler. It helps smooth things out

I also wear custom made hip pads as your butt will be a source of attention by men when your on the course

And last I wear a sports bra and use silicone breasts with a medical glue spray (Holister sp?) otherwise the breasts forms will move around and bunch together after your swing.  You don't want to have to be rearranging your boobs after every swing 🙀

Women with small breasts have lots of reasons to wear a sports bra.  And athletes will do things for no other reason than it helps them play better.    Just wear a properly sized bra. 

Hey Vicky,
Thank you so much for your amazing message. I'm not a great golfer but I do love to golf, and I figured that a golf course would be a low pressure environment for me to get out en femme. I'd love to connect with you further about this. What was it like when you first started golfing as Vicki? How did your boobs affect your swing?  Have you been able to find decent long sleeves that were actually long enough?  I'd you've got some free time for a chat let me know and I'd love to talk with you and pick your brain. I tried to pm you but it wouldn't let me for some reason. Anyhow, would love to connect!
Thanks so much,
Sasha

Quote from: VickyMI on August 25, 2018, 06:01:23 AM
I play golf well over 100 times a year.  It's a big part of my social life.  I golf en femme about a dozen times a year and love it.  I'll play with my wife as a twosome or go alone and get paired up with another single twosome or threesome.  I pass easily and am a better golfer than most anyone I'm paired with.  Doing activities that you normally love to do en femme is very fulfilling.

Suggestions for you:

Work on your voice

Wear solar sleeves if you need to cover your muscular arms or wear long sleeve women golf shirts

Skirts I love but Capri golf pants work too if you are concerned about muscular legs

I also have worn nude color pantyhose with my skirts sometimes when it is a bit cooler. It helps smooth things out

I also wear custom made hip pads as your butt will be a source of attention by men when your on the course

And last I wear a sports bra and use silicone breasts with a medical glue spray (Holister sp?) otherwise the breasts forms will move around and bunch together after your swing.  You don't want to have to be rearranging your boobs after every swing [emoji79]

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Thanks Danielle will do

Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on August 24, 2018, 10:14:41 AM
@VancityAndrea
Oh, and another thing, Sasha:
Please stop by the Introductions Forum to tell the members about yourself. 

By posting some brief information there about yourself you will find that more members will be aware of your arrival at the Forums and you can therefore be exposed to more give and take... and beneficial sharing.

Thank you again for joining Susan's Place and being involved in the Forums here.
Best Wishes to you.
Danielle

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Quote from: randim on August 24, 2018, 05:58:49 AM
I have golfed wearing women's shorts instead of men's.  That worked fine except that I ended up a sweaty mess (walking in the heat) and it was a little hard on the shorts.  I would not wear something that was functionally inappropriate for the sport.  I don't know if you were planning on playing as a single.  If so, be aware many places would prefer to pair you up with other people, so you might be interacting with strangers on the tee box and on the greens.  If it were me, I would use my regular clubs and play off the tees I usually do, but you could do everything women's and play off the short tees.  Could be interesting.  Good luck, and have fun.

I'm thinking shorter tees would help especially while I'm learning to compensate for the change in balance to having my boobs and some extra butt padding. In Vancouver fall time in not too worried about the heat. Especially with my legs shaved now I'm excited to show off my tan, been going to the tanning salon regularly for the last little while.

This week I have found a really cute golf skirt with built in shorts but I'm still shopping for tops. I got a decent set of beginners women's clubs on Craigslist for 130 bucks. I'm kind of looking for a slim long sleeve top that I can wear with a light weight golf vest or jacket as I find layers help to hide my shoulders a bit.

As for partners my wife is ready to golf with me and we are thinking of booking tee times on slower days so we can just go the two of us. If other groups want to play through I figure I can gain some distance by staying with the cart or fussing with my bag of I'm worried about being made.

My voice is the biggest thing that needs with as I can't speak consistently more than a few words passable.

Golf isn't the only idea, in also looking for other things we could do at this stage that would be as low pressure and as fulfilling, any thoughts would be welcome.


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Hi Sasha 

Welcome to Susan's Place    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M

Hi, Andrea.

Based on where you live, I would say you have nothing to worry about.  Vancouver is one of the most LGBT-friendly cities on the planet.  True, you might run into some old fuddy-duddies on the course, but you won't run into any official hassles.

If you get to the point of entering organized competitions, most athletic organizations require trans women to have been on androgen blockers for a year before they can compete as women.  However, this is unlikely to be a factor for learning or casual play.

Hi Andrea and welcome!   Golf can certainly have it's share of cranky "conservative" people of all ages out there.  Ugh...  I will say, golfing as me saved my golfing life however.  That is, I was soooo bad as the male me that I was miserable to play with...or behind.  On the sides too.  ;-)  Changing my style, mind-set, and tee box helped immensely.  I learned to relax and think finesse vs. "crushing the ball" with chest bumps and fist pumps and all.  LOL

Good luck and have fun!