When is it a life?
A little over three years ago I went to court and had my name legally changed. For me it was a joyous and magical day. After some fifty years to at long last have my name changed to a name I finally identified with.
A name I had chosen out of millions of name possiblities and billions of combinations. For some a name is easily chosen but mine was a labor of love.
I did take my time and played around with several variations of my final choice. Took each variation for a bit of a test drive. After a few months I settled on and chose Melissa Ann Segebarth.
For me sitting in front of the judge who heard my case was scary and intimidating. The case before my case, the judge was in a foul mood and gave the woman before me such a hard time. She was trying to change her babies last name. The babies father is a gang member and she didn't want her baby associated with him. After about 45 minutes the judge put her case aside then pointed at me in my wheelchair and just said you're next.
With a big gulp, I approached the bench and presented all my paper work. The judge shifted through all the paper work, looked up at me sitting there shaking. He asked me if I ran my name change request in the news paper. I replayed yes, and handed him the proof. He looked it over, signed the court order, looked up at me and said welcome to the world Melissa.
I sat there a little stunned at first, that it was over that fast. Then the largest smile I ever smiled crossed my face as the tears streamed down my cheeks.
Next came getting all the certified copies of the court order. I purchased 8 certified copies so I was sure to have enough copies to go around.
My first stop after getting my certified copies was the DMV. At first I was disappointed because by this time it was lunch time and the line was so long. I figured I would be there for a couple of hours. To my surprise, this was an occasion where it actually paid off to be in a wheelchair, because I was moved to the front of the line. I presented my court order and my letter from my doctor and after a few minutes of typing I found myself having my picture taken for my new ID. It took just a few minutes and I had it, my new ID was in hand with my name and gender correct.
That was June 19th, 2015. A little over 3 years ago now. One by one I've had every piece of identification changed. From Social Security to Medicare. Bank cards, my birth certificate and the very last piece for me was my ID card for my medical device that is implanted in my back.
This past January, the last piece of the puzzle and a life time dream was realised. After years of dreaming and a few years of work, I received my corrected birth certificate reading Melissa Ann Segebarth and female.
This is the interesting part for me. All the changes are a complete and udder thrill to me and makes me extremely happy. After each and every change I would stare at my ID. I would pull out my ID out all the time to just look at. When is it that it doesn't hit you anymore? When is it that you just live your life without thinking about it anymore? When do the skies open up and the golden light shine upon you to let you know it's time to start living your life?
The answer to those questions is simple... Never... But there comes a time when it hits you that time has gotten past you and you have been living your life. Here I am just short of 4 years unmasking and I open my wallet and there are 18 different cards with Melissa Ann on them. When did that happen and how did I acquire all of them? That my dear friends, is an easy question to answer. I acquired them living my life. You live your life and it no longer surprises you to hear your name spoken or when you do see your name in print. To me, that is when you know you have truly become yourself. The most important thing is to enjoy your life to be happy, it's all that matters.
