Spells for the Wicked

it's so weird.

i often hesitate to call people
my friends because i'm afraid
they won't be anymore.

but i always know who my
enemies are and i know how
to respond to them.

i don't know to respond to my friends.
why do i always ->-bleeped-<-ing fall in love with them. like,
as if there were just not enough drama in my life,

in my relationships, so i add
love inappropriately where it doesn't belong.
it makes a stronger witch's brew,

you know, then you drink it.
and try to get them to drink it
and they decline

and so you are standing there in
a somewhat awkward and compromised position.
and you feel so ->-bleeped-<-ing foolish, you just wanna die.

you have a little rock you
have to crawl under, from time to time
until the flame of your embarrassed blush goes down a bit.

and then you've lost the friendship with them
and all you have is a vacant sense of drama
in your life where they belonged

and a sense of dirtiness you can't wash. and a few tears. 

-ellie

You shouldn't feel dirty.  You're a lovely person.

That was lovely, ellie. Although more than a bit sorrow-making.

HUGS.

N~

That was good Ell. As usual, your writing touches me deeply. I'm just saddened that you have had such bad experiences with "friends".

Quote from: Rebis on March 30, 2008, 02:12:11 PM

You shouldn't feel dirty.  You're a lovely person.

oh i didn't say i felt dirty.

one of the things they always told us in writing class(es) is that the reader should never mistake the speaker (in the poem or story) with the writer.

i think it's good advice for you and me, as readers. because, otherwise, everything we wrote, or intended to write, would have a strange, autobiographical taint. and then would no longer belong in fiction's realm of "Poetry and Stories", but then would have to go somewhere else, in the non-fiction area.

with the main, unhappy result that much fiction would not get written, because people would fear too much that readers would point right at them and say "aha! the Speaker in this piece is you, isn't it!"

well, no, my dears. the Speaker here (and elsewhere) is her own fictional self.

-ellie

Yes, a woman who understands what she's doing!! Yah! Another Barbie-With-Brains!! *smile*

Nichole

Quote from: Nichole on March 30, 2008, 02:19:07 PM
That was lovely, ellie. Although more than a bit sorrow-making.

HUGS.

N~

Thank you, Nichole.