Huh.  There may be something to this FFS stuff.  While running around with @Jessica today and afterwards tonight, some interesting things are occurring.

I'm seeing a marked change in the response of men around me.  Offers to help me with a box of paper as I stepped off an elevator, another man helped me open the back of the car to put the box in, much more door opening and holding than I remember ever seeing. 

A man in a wheelchair locked eyes on me and stared as I walked past, to the point of making me uncomfortable.  I turned and stared back, then when he didn't stop asked if there was a problem.  I'm not normally confrontational but this was really creepy.  He finally looked away.

Both affirming and creepy today.  This may take some getting used to.

Quote from: Michelle_P on September 13, 2018, 10:42:54 PM
Huh.  There may be something to this FFS stuff.  While running around with @Jessica today and afterwards tonight, some interesting things are occurring.

I'm seeing a marked change in the response of men around me.  Offers to help me with a box of paper as I stepped off an elevator, another man helped me open the back of the car to put the box in, much more door opening and holding than I remember ever seeing. 

A man in a wheelchair locked eyes on me and stared as I walked past, to the point of making me uncomfortable.  I turned and stared back, then when he didn't stop asked if there was a problem.  I'm not normally confrontational but this was really creepy.  He finally looked away.

Both affirming and creepy today.  This may take some getting used to.

It was rude of that man to be staring, but you do have to admit, you did have the appearance of being the victim of spousal abuse.  But we both were reserved at the barrister who misgendered me.  Argh!

Quote from: Jessica on September 13, 2018, 10:52:26 PM
... But we both were reserved at the barrister who misgendered me.  Argh!

I thought I had misheard him. But, you heard the same thing I had. No tip!

I've had that in restaurants, and will both not tip and leave a note on the receipt. If there is a comment card it gets filled out either way. I've also mentioned this to a maitre d', and when they've excused the behavior or misgendered me themselves I write the place up as trans-hostile for the local tip sheet of safer places.


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Hi Michelle,

Say what you will with either proper or mis gendering; today, Deb and I got our nails done at the place that you, Laurie, Deb, our granddaughter and I went to before the wedding. Ann, the owner, couldn't remember either Deb's or my name but she asked how Michelle was doing. You seemed to have made a good impression on her and she used all the proper pronouns when talking about Michelle. Well done.

Tia Anne

Quote from: Michelle_P on September 14, 2018, 03:12:18 PM
I thought I had misheard him. But, you heard the same thing I had. No tip!

I've had that in restaurants, and will both not tip and leave a note on the receipt. If there is a comment card it gets filled out either way. I've also mentioned this to a maitre d', and when they've excused the behavior or misgendered me themselves I write the place up as trans-hostile for the local tip sheet of safer places.


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You are braver than I am Michelle. I tend to worry more about what they might put in my food the next time, If any, I dine there. Kudos to you for the beauty salon owner "Ann" remembering you as Tia has posted.

Hugs,
Donica.

Quote from: Anne Blake on September 14, 2018, 04:36:39 PM
Hi Michelle,

Say what you will with either proper or mis gendering; today, Deb and I got our nails done at the place that you, Laurie, Deb, our granddaughter and I went to before the wedding. Ann, the owner, couldn't remember either Deb's or my name but she asked how Michelle was doing. You seemed to have made a good impression on her and she used all the proper pronouns when talking about Michelle. Well done.

Tia Anne

I'm not sure what I might have done.  I was a little chattier than I usually am, but still pretty quiet. I'm not sure why, but I don't dive into the social chatter easily while someone is doing all that stuff to my hands. 

I do recall that we had had a little chat about pronouns while she was working on me.  She seemed unsure about what to do or say, and I tried to reassure her that it is always OK to just ask, that most people, trans or cis, won't take offense, and the effort to be correct is always appreciated.

Quote from: Donica on September 14, 2018, 04:48:24 PM
You are braver than I am Michelle. I tend to worry more about what they might put in my food the next time, If any, I dine there. Kudos to you for the beauty salon owner "Ann" remembering you as Tia has posted.

Hugs,
Donica.

It's really unlikely that I will return to a nicer place where I initially got offensive behavior from the staff.  At a coffee shop, the turnover is huge for most of them and the offender will be gone in a month or two.

Just having a nice day so far.  I went out to do a few errands, and got a nice complement on my dress.  I had my nails done.  Last time was the day before surgery, and after three weeks it was time for a fill.  I went with a nice coral red with copper flecks.

Quote from: Michelle_P on September 18, 2018, 05:25:52 PM
Just having a nice day so far.  I went out to do a few errands, and got a nice complement on my dress.  I had my nails done.  Last time was the day before surgery, and after three weeks it was time for a fill.  I went with a nice coral red with copper flecks.

@Michelle_P
Dear Michelle:
There you are looking quite beautiful in your new very pretty dress and your very pretty manicure and nails colored beautifully.
Your Costco bargain table dress was a really good find... it is really nice, especially for the price!!!!  Next time I go to Costco, which is every couple months, I will look for their bargain table, I never saw one in the store that I frequent but now I will hunt for it.

It is hard to believe that we saw you in face bandages just 3 weeks later here you are looking very pretty indeed.

Thank you for treating your followers to your great photos and your continuing story of which I always following.
Hug and well wishes,
Danielle

Quote from: Michelle_P on September 14, 2018, 03:12:18 PM
I thought I had misheard him. But, you heard the same thing I had. No tip!

I've had that in restaurants, and will both not tip and leave a note on the receipt. If there is a comment card it gets filled out either way. I've also mentioned this to a maitre d', and when they've excused the behavior or misgendered me themselves I write the place up as trans-hostile for the local tip sheet of safer places.


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You know, I have to ask myself... exactly what do these people think they're doing... no matter what their personal opinions, do they not realize they're hurting the business they're working for?  We spend money too

Yay!   I have an appointment with Kaiser SF Gender Pathways for Nov 8, a follow up from GCS a year ago.  They'll check to see if I have magically grown a clitoral hood and Labia minora (nope), and hopefully put me into the queue to eventually be scheduled for a revision/Phase II surgery.

Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on September 18, 2018, 05:40:11 PM
@Michelle_P
Dear Michelle:
There you are looking quite beautiful in your new very pretty dress and your very pretty manicure and nails colored beautifully.
Your Costco bargain table dress was a really good find... it is really nice, especially for the price!!!!  Next time I go to Costco, which is every couple months, I will look for their bargain table, I never saw one in the store that I frequent but now I will hunt for it.

This was just one of the tables in the clothing area.  The dresses were almost buried in the other items stacked there.  There were three different Mario Serrani designs, and I bought two of them.  The red/white patterned dress wouldn't work for me, but I got this one and a nice abstract floral pattern one.

Quote
It is hard to believe that we saw you in face bandages just 3 weeks later here you are looking very pretty indeed.

Corrector, two coats of concealer, and an opaque clay foundation will do wonders.   

The bruises will be completely gone in a week.  They are fading pretty quickly now.

Quote from: Sarah1979 on September 18, 2018, 05:45:29 PM
You know, I have to ask myself... exactly what do these people think they're doing... no matter what their personal opinions, do they not realize they're hurting the business they're working for?  We spend money too

And that is why I let the management/matre de' know or fill out the comment card.  I have been known to write a note on the signed credit card receipt as well, next to the tip of $0.00. Maybe everyone who is supposed to get a split of the tip will apply pressure.  I can hope...

I haven't looked before, but do we here at Susan's keep a list of hostile businesses or is it a personal thing of yours Michelle? I would love to have a copy either way, so I can begin to refuse to deliver goods to them with my truck.

Quote from: Michelle_P on September 18, 2018, 05:25:52 PM
Just having a nice day so far.  I went out to do a few errands, and got a nice complement on my dress.  I had my nails done.  Last time was the day before surgery, and after three weeks it was time for a fill.  I went with a nice coral red with copper flecks.

Hi Michelle

You look fabulous and I bet the pictures don't do you justice. Love the nail polish. Hopefully we will get a chance to catch up again soon. It doesn't seem that long ago that you were swathed in bandages just starting your recovery and yet here you are looking so happy and so well. 

Take care

Liz

Michelle you look GREAT!  The contour of your face is so nice and balanced, and just looks right.  Absolutely beautiful as yourself now, happy and it shows.  Earlier you mentioned the desire to be correctly gendered if you stepped outside without makeup and you've definitely hit that goal. 

Quote from: Sarah1979 on September 18, 2018, 06:05:32 PM
I haven't looked before, but do we here at Susan's keep a list of hostile businesses or is it a personal thing of yours Michelle? I would love to have a copy either way, so I can begin to refuse to deliver goods to them with my truck.

This is something done by a number of local support groups.  In my area, the Diablo Valley Girls maintain a Tip Sheet listing useful trans-friendly businesses like nail salons and thrift stores, and places to beware of.

Quote from: LizK on September 18, 2018, 07:39:42 PM
Hi Michelle

You look fabulous and I bet the pictures don't do you justice. Love the nail polish. Hopefully we will get a chance to catch up again soon. It doesn't seem that long ago that you were swathed in bandages just starting your recovery and yet here you are looking so happy and so well. 

Take care

Liz

Thank you, Liz.   It has been exactly 3 weeks since surgery. The mummy wraps were on for 10 days!   Glad to be out of those!

The bruising is fading quickly now. The big incision on my head is healing well, the dissolving stitches on the eyes are gone, and the sutures in my mouth on the incisions to reach the jaw are dissolving and falling out.

I have a set of standardized 'mug shots' I will be assembling into a composite image so folks can see the changes and healing process more easily.

Quote from: Kendra on September 18, 2018, 10:53:19 PM
Michelle you look GREAT!  The contour of your face is so nice and balanced, and just looks right.  Absolutely beautiful as yourself now, happy and it shows.  Earlier you mentioned the desire to be correctly gendered if you stepped outside without makeup and you've definitely hit that goal. 

Thanks, Kendra! Drs. Kleinberger and Shih did an outstanding job. I'm still obviously me, but with subtle changes to properly gender my face, as well as correct a couple asymmetries. I'm happy with the result, and yes, i think i will be gendered correctly with no makeup.

You are looking lovely Michelle! I think it's great that it's only taken 3 weeks to look so good.

Hugs,
Donica.

You look great, Michelle!  I love the nails, too.

I had my regular cancer screening today. Only two small actinic keratoses on the back of one hand frozen off.  Next screening is in 6 months now. No signs of the melanoma, no funny lymph nodes, a big relief.

My dermatologist was funny. "Say, you had some work done!"  She did a quick check of the suture lines and we chatted medical stuff on transition.  I think I'm her only medically transitioning patient.

Next week I have my teeth cleaning and dental exam, a 10 mile hike I am leading, and a consult for mammary feminization surgery. [emoji4]

Waitlist for breast augmentation is just a couple months, but they like to have 6 months between general anesthesia hits, so late February 2019 would be the earliest date I could get this through Kaiser.

In early November I have an appointment for a consult on GCS revision.  I'd like to have Labia minora and a clitoral hood, and something less like Hedwig and the Angry Inch down there. That will have a wait similar to GCS, probably early to mid-2020.  Meanwhile it'll be cotton underware, pads, and skirts to keep the OUCH under control. [emoji45]


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"Six inches forward, and five inches back!"  Oh No! 

Depending upon your doctors, could they do both surgeries in February?

Quote from: Michelle_P on September 20, 2018, 06:51:28 PM
I had my regular cancer screening today. Only two small actinic keratoses on the back of one hand frozen off.  Next screening is in 6 months now. No signs of the melanoma, no funny lymph nodes, a big relief.

My dermatologist was funny. "Say, you had some work done!"  She did a quick check of the suture lines and we chatted medical stuff on transition.  I think I'm her only medically transitioning patient.

Next week I have my teeth cleaning and dental exam, a 10 mile hike I am leading, and a consult for mammary feminization surgery. [emoji4]

Waitlist for breast augmentation is just a couple months, but they like to have 6 months between general anesthesia hits, so late February 2019 would be the earliest date I could get this through Kaiser.

In early November I have an appointment for a consult on GCS revision.  I'd like to have Labia minora and a clitoral hood, and something less like Hedwig and the Angry Inch down there. That will have a wait similar to GCS, probably early to mid-2020.  Meanwhile it'll be cotton underware, pads, and skirts to keep the OUCH under control. [emoji45]

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@Michelle_P
Dear Michelle:
Thank you for your comprehensive update... it is wonderful to follow your life endeavors as you frequently keep us posted with your life endeavors.

Certainly good news about your cancer screening... it is always best to get frequent checks and to get rid of the bad spots ASAP.

Ah.... your dermatologist noted you had "some" work done.....  I trust that she liked what she saw.

Well now, a dental exam by your Dentist and teeth cleaning by your Dental Hygienist...  I have personal experience with being a trans-woman and making a visit to my Dentist before I came out to my town....  obviously I am sweet on my dental hygienist suitor #4.   
As you might recall, both my Dentist and Hygienist knew that I was born a male before I announced it and came out to them....  your teeth and mouth will give you away.... but I am certain that you already have taken care of that in the past with your obviously female name change with the Dental office and/or your official announcement to them.

Good for you with your upcoming 10 mile hike... we will all be waiting for pictures!!!

.... and, WOWzers,  you have several more surgeries planned.... full speed ahead, damn the torpedoes!!!!
Just make sure you have your regular caregiver lined up for your recovery!!!!   cc:@Laurie

Thanks again for keeping your thread full of important stuff about yourself... it is nice that you feel comfortable sharing all of this with your followers.

As always, I eagerly await your next report(s)
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle