Today I had a wonderful day - I feel it was a bit of a turning point on my transgender journey. First, a bit of background about me, then I'll describe my experience today.
I am 45 years old, AMAB, on low dose feminizing hormones under the care of a trans-friendly primary care doctor for about 3 years. I have developed breasts from the hormones (currently 36B), otherwise few physical effects from the hormones due to the low dose. I am still mostly in the closet but enjoy occasionally going out dressed and made up as a woman, since I live in a fairly large city. I consider myself non-binary, presenting mostly as male but occasionally as a woman.
Today I had a day free, so I planned an outing to a local mall. I carefully did my makeup (foundation, two applications of concealer on my beard area, powder, eye shadow, mascara and lipstick), and dressed in a pair of flowered jersey pants and a black and white striped top, with Keds, necklace and purse to complete the look. I often struggle to get my makeup to look decent (it is tricky since I haven't started laser or electrolysis on my beard area so it often shows through), but today I managed to get it just right. I got the right coverage on my beard area without the makeup looking overdone, and overall I could tell I looked much more like a normal woman than I usually do when I go out. My confidence boosted, I drove to a mall not too far from my house, parked and walked confidently in.
I started at the Sephora inside JC Penney - I go some foundation since I was almost out, and got one shade darker than what I had before, which I think will be a closer match to my normal skin tone. I also got some pressed powder, which the salesgirl tried on my in the store to make sure it was the right shade. It is perfect, and a better coverage powder than what I was using previously.
Next, I went to Old Navy. I browsed a bit and found a short sleeve, blue and white striped sweater top that was on clearance for only like $4. I tried it on and it was a good fit, so I bought it and was on my way.
Next, I went to Nordstrom Rack, one of my favorite stores. I started in lingerie, and found a couple of bras that I decided to try on, and a couple of pairs of Natori panties that match bras I already have. I browsed some more and found a gorgeous burgundy short sleeve blouse that looked like it would fit me as well as a dressy tank top that looked nice. I went to the dressing room and tried everything on - one of the bras was not a good look on me but the other fit perfectly, and the burgundy top looked great on me as well. I liked the tank top but decided since I was getting a bunch of other stuff to pass on it this time. Then, before heading to the register I went to shoes and found a great pair of fancy flip flops (black with gold trim). All told, I spent about $80 and got a bra, two pair of panties, the burgundy top and the flip flops! After that I walked back to my car and drove home, on a total high from the experience. Not only did I find a bunch of stuff I liked, but all the people I interacted with in the stores treated my just like a normal customer - nobody gave me a second look or was anything but totally courteous. Not only was my makeup spot on, but I've been working on my voice and I think my voice was right in a normal female vocal range. If anybody read me as trans, they totally took it in stride and didn't treat me as anything out of the ordinary!
Once I got home, I had a wonderful time trying on all of my new purchases and checking myself out in the mirror. Nothing I got is out of the ordinary for what a normal woman would buy or wear. It is nice to have some new pieces I really like for next time I have a chance to go out again! I am excited for the opportunity - with the new makeup and clothes I am confident I will look even better next time....
Now I just need to start coming out to more of the people close to me so I can start wearing my feminine wardrobe, makeup, etc. more often!
