Hi

Yesterday I was feeling quite low and empty. Up till now I have been feeling excited about my transition, I only started a few weeks ago and a lot has happened in that time like being accepted for hormone therapy, speaking to gp and GenderGP, and booking my voice therapy. However, yesterday I kept questioning myself, do I really want to go through all this, is it better just to resign myself to the fact I am in the wrong body and live with it. I couldn't imagine me being the woman I want to be. Move on to today, and the excitement is back.

Does or did anyone else get these feelings?

Izzy x

Hi Izzy,

I think that you are having totally normal feelings. When people start this journey they swing up and down, have doubts, get euphoric, decide it isn't for them and then decide that there is no way that they cannot transition NOW. And these feelings can all occur within an hour!

Transitioning is a long process. You need the support of your medics, your psychologist/psychiatrist whatever. You need to talk to people - us! You need to reject ideas, test feelings, try new concepts and ultimately decide for yourself what makes you happy.

I personally think that it is very important to have doubts and to think about consequences, only in that way can you make sure that you are doing the right thing for you.

@Izzy

It was/is certainly the norm for me. With my wife's support and all the great people here on Susan's I am really starting to come around. My episodes are getting less frequent and of shorter duration. For example, I had a moment yesterday, I crashed, depressed thoughts, miserable .. recovered within the hour ended up having a great day. That's all with the nagging in the back of my head, a similar thing to what  you stated, "I can't imagine me being the woman I want to be"

Head up, you'll get through and there are plenty of happy moments on the horizon. All you need to do is open up to the people willing to lend a hand in support.

Faith

Hi Izzy

If the 1970 in your nick is your birth year, let me tell you that age alone is not an issue, and there is plenty of scope for you to be the woman you want to be.  The journey from here to "there" takes some time, effort and money, but it is worth it.

There will be ups and downs, and there are no "correct" feelings.   The self-questioning is, frankly, a good thing, as it means you are looking at a complex issue in detail, and many of us ask these questions at the start of our transition.  As you advance, everything gradually becomes easier.

Keep an ear on that little internal voice that only you can hear.  If it says that it's unhappy on a given day, park it out of the way.  If it starts to become insistent, listen to it:  slow down, understand what it's trying to say - this is not a race - and correct things.

I hope this helps.  Good luck! 

Julia

Thanks for that. I really feel good about my transition today, was just a low. 1970 is my year of birth lol.

Trust me Sister we all have low points in our quest to find our true selves. I have had them and to some small degree I still do.
All I have to do is stop and and remember how miserable my life was before and how happy my life is now and the low feeling just fade away.

Also remember you are part of our family and anytime you feel down or just need a hug we are here for you.


Love
Bobbie LeAnn

Isabelle,

I'll echo what others have said that we all have our ups and downs and it is good to question what you are doing, each time you question and come back with the answer that you are doing the right thing it reinforces your decision.

We share the same birth year, I have times when I struggle, I started my transitioning earlier this year, I can tell you that even at my low points I'm happier now than I ever was before living a lie as a man. Is it worth it? OMG yes! [emoji16]

Stick with it,

Hugs

Nicole

Quote from: Isabelle1970 on September 21, 2018, 08:23:32 AM
Thanks for that. I really feel good about my transition today, was just a low. 1970 is my year of birth lol.

Good on ya!  Mine is '69, and I started transitioning when I was 45 and finished everything a year later.  It was honestly one of the most fascinating years of my life, and the bumps on the road were tiny compared to the benefits.

Go for it!
J