So, I've needed a bra for a little while now to keep things protected and more in place.  On my most sensitive days, even walking is painful!

The issue I'm having is that *nothing* I've tried so far is comfortable to wear for very long or when I get into different positions, etc.

My at home measurements:  Standing up straight, I'm 40 inches around where the band would go and 43 at the bust.  Leaning forward, I'm 39 around at the band and 44 around the bust.  On my back or while sitting down, I'm 42.5 at the band and 44-45 at the bust.

I've tried measuring myself multiple times, and I've gone to two different stores and been sized there (in boy mode no less!), and I keep being told that I should be a 40-42 band with a cup between A and B.  Even 44-46 inch bands are uncomfortably tight in the wrong positions though!

I've lost a fair bit of weight recently, but I spent a lot of my life overweight and I had gynecomastia and a fair bit of what seems like non-breast fat in the pectoral area before I started HRT.  My actual breast area probably only amounts to a little over an A cup, but I have quite a bit of back and underarm fat and loose skin, which seems to mess with the measurements quite a lot.  Due to the weight and earlier breast development decades before HRT, I have a lot of sag at this point, and I don't know how much I should be trying to push that up?

My most common problems:
* The band is super tight on the front and sides, to the point where it feels like it's going to slice my ribs in half and makes breathing painful, but the back is still so loose that it slides up when I'm just standing still.
* I thoroughly fill the bottom half of the cups, to the point that it's squishing me a bit, but the top half is not well filled at all.
* A bra that's reasonably comfortable and doesn't slide too much on its own while standing can be very painful when I sit or lie down.

At this point I've been to 2 different stores in person and shopped online, and I've bought around 15 different bras in varying sizes and I still don't have anything that's comfortable!  I've had sales people check the fit while I'm wearing a bra and they say it looks right and seems to fit well, but then I'm in pain as soon as I sit down!

If anyone has any ideas, please let me know!

I would invest in sports bras which are more supportive and flexible until you can lose the weight and more traditional bras are comfortable.


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Lisa,

You have not mentioned what brands of bras you have tried on. Push up bras are notoriously uncomfortable for everybody except fashion models. If you have lots of loose skin, then a support bra may help.

Fit is the most important consideration. The band size just needs to be comfortable and snug, but not too tight. A bra with lots of stretch helps make things more tolerable to wear for a long day. For the cup size, just go up a letter size until you get puckering of the bra material, then go back to the previous letter size. This is for bras without molded padding.

In my opinion, sports bras are very comfortable, but for everyday wear, I prefer a support bra. I really like the Playtex 18 hour series. There are others that are just as good.

Quote from: Lisa on October 01, 2018, 01:42:43 AM
* I thoroughly fill the bottom half of the cups, to the point that it's squishing me a bit, but the top half is not well filled at all.

That sounds like you are wearing the bra too high.  Have you let the straps out fully?  That is one of the problems with fitting bras on trans women: our longer torsos need longer straps.  You may need to look for one with longer straps.

I'm almost wondering if posture may be some of your issue. Keeping good posture is key. When you slouch, you're going to push harder on that band. And probably underwire... perhaps something with soft cups (no padding/lining). The bralette is going to have wider cups, and in a 40+ you should be able to find one with a thicker band. A Long line bra may also be of some help.  Long line bras are designed to extend lower on your torso. You're going to be more consious of your posture with this as well. Then, as others have said, sports bras could be a good option.

The brands with the widest variety of sizes I've found are Soma ($$$), Haynes ($), and Torrid ($$). I've had great luck with Soma, and they're pretty. Haynes 18 hour is comfy, but not much to look at. Torrid sells some cute stuff and they carry brands catering to larger framed women.

Thanks for the thoughts, everyone!

Quote from: Dani on October 01, 2018, 06:31:09 AM
You have not mentioned what brands of bras you have tried on. Push up bras are notoriously uncomfortable for everybody except fashion models. If you have lots of loose skin, then a support bra may help.

I've not tried any push up bras yet nor anything with an underwire as my doctor recommended I avoid that for now.  On the brands, I've tried Playtex, Haynes, Bali, Amoena, and Glamorise for regular bras.  For sports bras I've tried Haynes and Champion as well as a few very cheap ones from Amazon.

Quote from: KathyLauren on October 01, 2018, 08:46:14 AM
That sounds like you are wearing the bra too high.  Have you let the straps out fully?  That is one of the problems with fitting bras on trans women: our longer torsos need longer straps.  You may need to look for one with longer straps.

This is something I wasn't sure what to do with!  Like I mentioned, I have a fair bit of sag, and I don't know if I should be trying to keep things where they are, or trying to push them up.  The bands and shoulder straps seem to fit much better if I carefully lift the breasts up and scoot the band up till things are about 3 inches higher than they normally sit.  If I should be trying to hold my breasts in place rather than lifting them up, then I have a serious shoulder strap problem!  I don't even bother trying anything on till the shoulder straps are extended as far as they'll go, and they still tend to pull the bra up unless I have the band quite tight!

Quote from: Harley Quinn on October 01, 2018, 09:10:20 AM
I'm almost wondering if posture may be some of your issue. Keeping good posture is key.

I actually started physical therapy for posture issues a few months ago and my posture is generally pretty good at this point.  If I slouch, it makes an already difficult bra situation much, much worse.

Found Shoulder Bra Straps Replacement 12mm 15mm 18mm Width Elastic Adjustable Removable Multi Color this on Amazon. You might check it out.

Also try leaning over forward when you put on the bra. My sister taught this to my daughter.

Attach the band and get the cups approximately in place, then lean over so your breasts hang down. At this point pull the cups over them and slip on the shoulder straps, then straighten up.

I didn't watch while they did this, but my wife showed it to me.

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Quote from: RandyL on October 01, 2018, 01:57:15 PM
Also try leaning over forward when you put on the bra. My sister taught this to my daughter.

My voice coach / culture coach Emily, gave me this advice early on. She gave me lots of tips. 

Basically, if you need boob support, there will be some discomfort.

Your bra band will need to be tight and your bra straps will indeed mark your shoulders. Most women carry bra strap grooves!

If you are 40" under bust, and 41" across the nipples, you need a 40 A cup. 42" across the nipples demands a B cup, 43" a C cup and so on.

From my experience, an underwired plunge bra with light padding is the most supportive and comfortable shape.

Look for bras with deep side panels and 3 hook deep bands (most bras in the smaller sizes are only 2 hook). A deep bra band provides so much more push up, stability and support.

On top of this, look for the widest bra straps. Your straps will be the most uncomfortable aspect of your bra once they are tight enough not to slip down (don't go there!).

Basically, buy the most frumpy bra in your size. Fashion comes later, once you are used to wearing a fashion bra.

For a long time I had the same issues, so many questions and uncertainties. I decided to go to Victoria Secret and had a bra fitting. The lady that helped me inside the fitting room helped finding the correct size and trips and tricks, especially in enhancing my cleavage.

Spent about 100$ on 3 bra's, and learned a lot. I am "certified" 38C. 

I have not posted in a while but I have to taken wearing a padded sports bra almost 100% of the time now. I am large A and almost a B cup. I have no choice the nipples are extremely sensitive and are quite noticable. The are sensitive to the point where i can almost have a nipple orgasm... Sorry i don't want to hijack your thread.The padding helps when the ladies bump in to something. And it also helps with shaping of the breast overall...