I never did get around to doing this intro thing...
So I am Nym... lol... please to meet you all and as I am doing this late... thank you to everyone for your help and support these last couple of weeks.
So you will want to know a bit more about me I suppose... other than the whining on the forums.
I live in the northeast of England.
My earliest memories of wanting to be a girl... those are from when I was 2 years old at playgroup... yep, I've got a pretty amazing memory - ha ha ha... doesn't stop me forgetting to do stuff though. However, lack of information, an active far-right-wing Dad, living in a macho area (although things are not as bad as they were), a fear of not passing, and multiple other excuses - namely being a coward... have meant I've gone through life hiding myself.
I am married with a daughter (7). I told my wife before we got married, so she knew and her acceptance of that was a major factor in agreeing to marry her.
I have a sense of humour that normally lands me in trouble. Alas, the events of the last month or so, have given me little to smile about, but I try. I talk(type?) far too much, and I tend not to edit when I am typing from my heart/mind, so what you get is honesty. I never intend to offend anyone, so if I ever do say something you don't like the sound of... just tell me and I will immediately apologize. There are sure to be some moments when transatlantic conversation doesn't connect and being new to being open is sure to find myself saying something inappropriate at some point... don't be afraid to tell me.
Hobbies and stuff like that... I am massive on hiking... trails, climbing mountains, etc. I am itching to start caving and rock climbing at some point too but lack of funds. I spent a long time gaming and now I crave real-life adventures. The journey I am on now, might be the biggest adventure of them all.
So I mentioned gaming... nym is basically what thousands of people have known me as in the world of GW. In GW1 it was short for nymph and in GW2 it was short for nymeria. I found gaming a massive relief. A chance to be me. Alas, teamspeak etc came along and destroyed the illusion. I broke the hearts of a few male gamers. In the early days of YouTube I ran one of the first gaming channels under the name jazzbunny. I had over 4,000 subscribers which was a lot considering YouTube was only 6 months old at the time. Sadly google took my site down for copyright breach. I am still on YouTube with a couple of channels but less than 300 subscribers, so its not much point mentioning it anymore.
Music wise... I've got varied taste... I will listen to anything except pop. Music of choice is metal and psychobilly. But at the moment I've been listening to SPG on YouTube because I've been catching up on bunny's transition.
Other crap... I spent most of my life in academia. Currently unemployed after being laid off from a deadend part-time job. Dropped out of my PhD and took an MPhil after 7 years of research, passing my viva, running out of money, and ending up in hospital with non-gender related stress and anxiety issues (although the gender thing probably played a role, it wasn't the primary cause). Found that hiking helped control stress and anxiety, hence I made the switch from virtual to real-life adventures. Looking for online work if anyone is offering...
Gender stuff...As mentioned, first aware that there was a problem when I was 2 years old.
Tried to mutilate myself several times between the ages of 14-16 but lacked the conviction of my actions (thankfully).
Suicidal at the age of 17. Came very close to going through with it but had someone reach out to me which saved me.
Very dysphoric around my early 20s. I had a bad experience of being fully dressed (fully as in with wig and make up). Put me off fully dressing again until me and my wife got our first apartment together (another bad experience when my wife freaked about not being a lesbian).
Rationalised gender into the background - didn't disappear but made it easier to control.
Dysphoria started building again in August 2018... aged 46.
Had a gender dysphoric breakdown in September 2018, which is why I am here in the first place.
Opened up to my GP and now I am waiting for my first appointment with the therapist.
I think that's about it really... feel free to ask any questions.