Quote from: mm on October 08, 2018, 01:20:16 PM
SeptagonScars, your situation is different from most girls getting a ba, your whole life has been different with being on T for a few years. Yes, you will have to see how large you can go with having had top surgery, only a surgeon can give you much information. With having a 32 chest size, it doesn't take as large an implant to give you larger appearing breasts. Good luck in getting your ba. How are you handling the other effects of being of T?
Thank you. Yeah it's a bit different. The closest to the kind of ba I'll get is, I think, similar to women who've gotten mastectomies for treating/preventing breast cancer and then get new breasts reconstructed. I am being very realistic with the limited knowledge that I have, but also allow myself to dream a little. One of the issues about my chest for a ba is that I'm completely flat so nothing to work with, meaning that going up 4-5 sizes from size 0 might just not be possible. However, I might also get to stretch the skin over time with expanders which might allow me to go slightly bigger than otherwise. Another issue is the scars from my top surgery, since I had double incision. Those scars might not want to stretch as much as the surrounding skin. As for my nipples I don't think they'd be of any issue, although I had them reduced in size and relocated, so maybe they might, I dunno.
Google searching pics of breast reconstruction on women who had mastectomies, it seems that larger than C is rarely created, but I saw a few pics of D-cups. I am also concerned about how and where my top surgery scars will end up on new boobs, which is difficult to visualise. Looking at such pics online has helped me get a more realistic idea of what I could expect for result though. But you're right that only a surgeon would know, so all the info I've gathered about it I take with a grain of salt, until I can get to see a surgeon for a consultation, cause that might take a while. I need to hassle with the gender clinic I go to first, much like as if I'm seeking gender transition again... I've no idea what so ever what a detransitioning process (medically/practically speaking) could look like in my country, and that I won't know until I know.
The other effects of T I mostly handle well, actually. However I'm also really confused about which of its effects I'm okay with now or not okay with. Ideally, I'd like to tweak as little on my body as possibly needed. But I struggle with figuring out if I'd be fine with looking a little "bodily androgynous" also in the long run, or if I do have an emotional need to look more unambiguously female. I see myself as a woman and mostly feminine, regardless of which of my traits I decide change back or keep as is.
Much of where I stand right now, is I'll need to give being off of T much time before I can truly know what I may want to tweak on additionally. Some things will reverse on their own, others will change back just a little, while some stuff will remain. But I think the only things that T caused that I'm having a hard time with now are: high temples/male hairline, that my hair has thinned out greatly (but no pattern balding, just thinner all over, which might not have been caused by the T though), the extra body hair especially on my chest and stomach, my masculine body odour, and excess sweating.
What I'm totally fine with: my deep voice, face changes like wider jaw, bigger hands and feet, my big cl*t (or well yeah, "bottom growth"). And what I'm very uncertain of is I don't know if I like my facial hair or if I hate it. I've lots of social dysphoria about it, but in private I actually kinda like it. So it's a bit of a mixed bag of feelings I have about my T changes, but a lot of them I've no issue with.
How I handle it practically is mostly just shaving. Lots and lots of shaving. Hair growth inhibiting creams too. The most heavy duty deodorants available on the market, for my sweating. Makeup to hide beard shadow for when I'm going out. Trying to style my hair strategically and use extentions, but it hasn't been very successful yet so far. I don't atempt to change my voice at all, just speak the way I normally would, and some say it sounds feminine in tone and deep. I do actually get misgendered sometimes, but it bothers me less and less and I don't tend to correct people unless it's important that I do.
