Hi! I'm 33 (although my birthday's in just over 2 weeks) and from the USA. I realized I was agender a little over a year ago. I'm still new to learning about myself. I've always known that I was 'different' gender-wise. I just didn't have a word for it. I saw something about it a couple of years ago on another site. Didn't think much of it at first. I just called myself a 'lazy' woman, and yet I didn't feel like a woman at all. The only other option was a man, and I didn't feel like one either. I somewhat knew about genderfluid years ago, but that wasn't right.

My parent's a trans woman, and started a local trans support group 6 years ago. There wasn't any in the county at the time. So, it was a much needed resource. I joined at the beginning as an ally. I oddly related to how people felt, but didn't know why. There aren't very many non-binary trans people in the group, but they're very accepting and encouraging. I feel like it really is a group for me now, too. I learned a lot from them over the years, even if I was half-listening about the transition stuff before I realized.

Realized I have a lot of gender dysphoria, too. It makes so much sense now. At first, I thought if I don't have a gender, how could I have dysphoria? Someone from a facebook group told me it's because we don't have a gender that everything gendered has the potential to trigger dysphoria. Medically, I feel like a patchwork doll. I'm dysphoric about my chest, facial hair (yes, oddly even though I'm afab, I have to shave it often), feel like something's off with 'downstairs' (like it should be more vague, I guess?), etc. I got a binder this past summer and it fits, but it can be a pain to put on, and it's not all the time. Doesn't completely flatten either...I've had panic attacks in the lingerie section, and yet I know I need something there. It can all be frustrating.

Anyways, I'm an author, clarinetist, amateur photographer, and blogger. I love to cook, learning languages and cultures, and my cats. Sorry, if this was too long...Nice to meet everybody!

@anzu2snow   
Dear Anzu2snow:
    Thank you for writing your first posting....  NOW many members here on the forums will be aware of your arrival.

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Hi Anzu2snow 

Welcome to Susan's Place    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M

Thanks for the welcome. 

Hey Anzu!

Nice to meet you too
You're damn lucky you know? Having trans parents making things easier since they already know some stuff about gender dysphoria and how to deal with it Hope it will help you find yourself

Welcome!

Welcome to a fellow newcomer and a human, who does not relay know to which gender one belongs.  When I was born there were only two genders, male and female, and anybody was pressed to be one of them.  It was decided that I will be a male, and I was raised as one.  But I never could do or liked to do a lot of the stuff my guy friends liked to do.  a lot of times I would have preferred to play with the girls, but my guy friends would have made fun of  me.  I tried very hard to become a real guy, I always fell short of my goal.  I bet i had a ton of dysphoria at that time, but nobody even knew what dysphoria was.  I was told to not act like a sissy!
Puberty came, and all of the guys started to look really manly, I w as the only one who maintained the girlish/little boys look.  I was not able to be one of them.  But I was also not able to be one of the girls.  Later in life, als my female friends liked my nice, soft and cuddly, and hairless skin,  that was at least one positive benefit I got from being different.  Now many years later i'm transitioning to get into my real identity, to become a woman, a gender I always should have been.

And I am excited about it!
Just make sure that you don't waste so many years of your life as I did, to become who you are supposed to be.  My life has become so much more colorful since I look at it with my gender appropriate vision!

I wish you lots of luck for your path!

@Alive V: I do feel incredibly lucky to have a trans parent, and that she knows what it feels like to have dysphoria. It's a little different considering I'm afab. She's still learning about what agender means, and the non-binary community in general. She corrects herself pretty quickly most of the time. This also seems to be making her think about her own gender differently.

@Dietlind: Hi! I actually do know what my gender is. It's agender, aka genderless. Well, for me, I've always felt like neither man nor woman. I don't have a masculine or feminine side. I'm just me. I couldn't relate to men or women. As early as when adults were splitting us up by certain genders in daycare, I wondered why. Why can't we be friends with both? Why do we have to be encouraged to act a certain way (depending on which category you fell under) and have different roles? Why were toys so gendered? It was weird to me, but I pretended to play along with this sort of thing most of my life. (Obviously, in more mature ways.) I'm glad you've found your path and are excited about it. 

I know now little more about myself.  I was tested and have the xxy chromosomes.  They determined that I am leaning toward the feminine side (no idea what they base this on, but the docs are the people in the know).  That might be the reason that I want to become a woman really bad now.  I had planned to continue to live for a while as a man, and just be a closet woman.  But something inside me will not allow this.  Here I am now, leaping and bouncing towards womanhood!