I think this is the right place to ask, if not I apologise but after skimming through the forums this seems to be the most appropriate place to enquire! I'm new to this place and the reason I ended up signing up is uh,
   Well, to ask this question I suppose.

   I'm FtM trans, I've settled into the name Madison and I'm gay. I'm currently in a long-distance relationship with another [lovely] FtM fella and so I will likely ask him a similar question. But I figured I would come here for advice too, since I think hearing some other opinions will be handy!

   Introductions aside, I'm struggling a lot with dysphoria. I'm pre-T, pre-top op and pre-bottom op. I have a binder and I'm going through referrals and doctor visits to get help moving on with my transition. I figured that might help to understand where I'm at with the transition n all in case that has any effect on anything.
   My birthday is coming up and I'm planning on getting a sex toy for the first time in my life.
   I'm a sub/bottom and my consensual sexual experience hasn't ever been penetrative so I don't quite know exactly what I like outside of anal. So I was thinking and I was wondering if I should give my birth genitals a chance.
   The thought of using my feminine genitalia for anything at all makes me feel sick to my stomach and dysphoria in general brings me to the point [though not all the time] where I throw up, and I'm extremely anxious about inserting anything down there in case it causes similar or worse distress both emotionally and physically. I feel uncomfortable thinking about it but at the same time I know that some FtM people use their genitals sexually and get pleasure out of it. I, personally, have never gotten any sort of pleasure from that region but I also haven't tried much due to the fear and discomfort+dysphoria it brings on.

   So, with that all in consideration, would it be worth trying or should I hang back? I live by a rule of "try things because that way you'll find what you do and don't like" but I'm hesitant in this situation.
   Edit: Sexual frustration hasn't helped during this situation and I've been feeling a lot of it. I'm partially concerned that if I don't try, that frustration won't leave. Just thought I'd add this in case is affected anything c:

@corviq
Dear Corviq:
    Please allow me to have you take a quick break from the subject of this thread and permit me to Welcome you to the Susan's Place Forums.
    This is the right place for you to be to find out what others have done regarding your transition journey that may have been in your circumstances and with your questions and concerns.
    There are a lot of members here that will be able to identify with your situation as you continue to feel free to share it.

    Please allow me to warmly WELCOME you to Susan's Place. 
You will find this a safe and friendly place to share with others and to read about others similar trials, tribulations, and successes.

    You can share with others and involve yourself with some give and take with other like-minded members.  When frustrated or if you have successes you can share it here if you wish and receive support from others and offer support to others. ....
     ***It's a very good chance that you might find that you will make some new friends here. 

    Please come in and continue to be involved at your own pace.
I have included information about the site that will help you navigate around and best utilize the features here.   
Please look closely at the LINKS in RED, answers are there to many questions that new members ask.

Again, Welcome to Susan's Place.
Danielle

Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that all new members should be familiar with:

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By	Standard Terms & Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)	Cautionary Note
Reputation rules	News posting & quoting guidelines	Photo, avatars, & signature images policy	Membership Agreement

@corviq 
Oh, and another thing Corviq:
Please find your way to the  Introductions Forum and write a brief introduction post and summary about yourself and your questions & concerns so that more members here on the Susan's Place forums will be aware of your arrival and therefore you may obtain more responses and information that you might be looking for.

Enjoy your time here on the Forums, I trust that you will find this an enjoyable and informative experience.
Best wishes to you.... and again, Welcome to Susan's Place
Danielle

**** now you can have your thread back.

It it was me, I would give your parts a test drive before I made irreversible changes.

Just saying...

@corviq
Dear Corviq:
Please allow me to suggest that if you have not already done so is for you to visit
the FTM transexual Talk sub-forum
         https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,27.0.html

where you may find specific answers to your question posed here in your post topic and also other topics and other like-minded members that may be of interest to you.
 
Danielle