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I see the stress coming!

Started by Linde, October 30, 2018, 02:12:16 PM

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Linde

Ok, I was at my psychologist today, and she took me apart without me realizing it!  She identified the parts of my body that cause my biggest dysphoria!
I originally thought one of them would be my voice, but it is not!  She told me when I talk, I could pass as a female!!!!!  As long as I not try to think about how I talk! But she could not talk me out of me believing that my finger tips/fingernail would rather be fit for a farm worker thank for an elegant lady, and she could not convince me that my 11 1/2 sized feet look that nice and cute.
But she is of the opinion that that little beard growth which I have might be strongly reduced once I am on estrogen.  She asked me If I mind to show her my breasts (I am still guy enough in my thinking that I don't think anything about it to show my breasts to anybody) , and she praised them as very nicely developed typical female breasts!  That gave me quite some boost!
And than she hit me with the big sledge hammer, she told me that I should start to wear female clothing around the house - I thought, wait a minute lady, I am a guy and not a sissy, she was clever enough to recognize my hesitation and told me that she senses that I am deep down so much of a girl that female clothing would be really good for me !  :o  She is still of the opinion that I was always more a girl than a guy (I tell you folks, being intersex is not that easy, not only does our mind not know what to think of any gender, our body dos not know it either, the only thing I know for sure, I do not want to be addressed with "they, theirs, them").
So, here is that guy looking girl, trying to figure out to look less like a guy.  The body is partially there (did I tell you that us intersexers do not have any unwanted body hair?  And that we can grow breasts on our own, without the help of estrogen?  And that we don't have an Adams Apple, a female chin and yaw line and no receding hair line or bald spots).  We don't have to try to be androgynous, we were born that way.  We don't try to have the metro look, we have it since birth!
It is pretty easy for me to be a girl, if I just would know how to go about it!  I tried so very hard all my life to be that real guy, and ll of a sudden that well studied roll shall be given u, and I have to learn how to b a girl????

Anyway I now have homework to do, and have to report next time how well/bad I did.  I am asked to go to the female clothing departments of several stores and learn how to shop for girls stuf.  She gave me the names of a few gender neutral stores for me to start with.

If you need a fashion reporter for your future, I might be the source.  Look for female fashion reports by Dietlind!  ;D
02/22/2019 bi-lateral orchiectomy






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Arianna Valentine

Quote from: Dietlind on October 30, 2018, 02:12:16 PM
Ok, I was at my psychologist today, and she took me apart without me realizing it!  She identified the parts of my body that cause my biggest dysphoria!
I originally thought one of them would be my voice, but it is not!  She told me when I talk, I could pass as a female!!!!!  As long as I not try to think about how I talk! But she could not talk me out of me believing that my finger tips/fingernail would rather be fit for a farm worker thank for an elegant lady, and she could not convince me that my 11 1/2 sized feet look that nice and cute.
But she is of the opinion that that little beard growth which I have might be strongly reduced once I am on estrogen.  She asked me If I mind to show her my breasts (I am still guy enough in my thinking that I don't think anything about it to show my breasts to anybody) , and she praised them as very nicely developed typical female breasts!  That gave me quite some boost!
And than she hit me with the big sledge hammer, she told me that I should start to wear female clothing around the house - I thought, wait a minute lady, I am a guy and not a sissy, she was clever enough to recognize my hesitation and told me that she senses that I am deep down so much of a girl that female clothing would be really good for me !  :o  She is still of the opinion that I was always more a girl than a guy (I tell you folks, being intersex is not that easy, not only does our mind not know what to think of any gender, our body dos not know it either, the only thing I know for sure, I do not want to be addressed with "they, theirs, them").
So, here is that guy looking girl, trying to figure out to look less like a guy.  The body is partially there (did I tell you that us intersexers do not have any unwanted body hair?  And that we can grow breasts on our own, without the help of estrogen?  And that we don't have an Adams Apple, a female chin and yaw line and no receding hair line or bald spots).  We don't have to try to be androgynous, we were born that way.  We don't try to have the metro look, we have it since birth!
It is pretty easy for me to be a girl, if I just would know how to go about it!  I tried so very hard all my life to be that real guy, and ll of a sudden that well studied roll shall be given u, and I have to learn how to b a girl????

Anyway I now have homework to do, and have to report next time how well/bad I did.  I am asked to go to the female clothing departments of several stores and learn how to shop for girls stuf.  She gave me the names of a few gender neutral stores for me to start with.

If you need a fashion reporter for your future, I might be the source.  Look for female fashion reports by Dietlind!  ;D
I will be honest is really not hard to be a girl and it's actually funny I apparently I know I have an Adam's apple you just can't see my Adam's apple at all like even when I tilt my head back it's not visible which is awesome LOL

Sent from my SM-S337TL using Tapatalk

If you can't accept yourself,  how can you expect others to accept you?

curious about me:  https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,218617.new.html#new
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Linde

Quote from: Arianna Valentine on October 30, 2018, 03:32:14 PM
I will be honest is really not hard to be a girl and it's actually funny I apparently I know I have an Adam's apple you just can't see my Adam's apple at all like even when I tilt my head back it's not visible which is awesome LOL

Sent from my SM-S337TL using Tapatalk
If you don't have the classic guy Adams Apple, you should have a smaller voice box, too.  And that would mean you don't have a very deep, male sounding voice either?

I did a voice pitch test, and my normal voice falls in the lower range of the female pitch range.  One big difference between male and female voices is the speech pattern, which is different between guys and girls (a learned ting).   I have to get my pattern analyzed, because English is my third language, and I learned a lot of the finer details of the language from my wife (she is a linguist and teaches language acquisition methods to students who want to become language teachers).  Because of this, I might even have a pretty female speech pattern in English, and that might have caused the psychologist to say that I sound very female????
02/22/2019 bi-lateral orchiectomy






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CarlyMcx

I am probably intersex, but not as much as you.  I don't have a visible adam's apple, and I never had any chest hair, or very much on my arms or legs, and I could never grow a full beard.

And the estrogen has been very, very good to my body.  My natural vocal pitch, (once I gave up talking with that deep chest voice that I had learned in my twenties) is about 185 Hz, so I'm in kind of androgynous territory there.  I had MPB on the right side and at the apex, but estrogen and antiandrogens fixed that.

Have fun shopping for clothes and trying them on.  Once you get over your inhibitions, you will discover a)  it's really, really fun, and b)  you need a girl to shop with in order to guide you on choices, help you see what looks good in the dressing room mirror.

There is really only one downer to clothes shopping -- and that's running out of closet space!
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HappyMoni

I found that shopping on line is extremely useful for figuring your style. You can sit at home and go through massive amounts of choices to find what you like. In stores, it is okay, but the choices are more limited. Also, there is pressure to grab things that are so so, so you don't go home empty handed. As I look back, I settled for some lame things, when now, I don't  buy unless I really like it.
If I ever offend you, let me know. It's not what I am about.
"Never let the dark kill your light!"  (SailorMars)

HRT June 11, 2015. (new birthday) - FFS in late June 2016. (Dr. _____=Ugh!) - Full time June 18, 2016 (Yeah! finally) - GCS June 27, 2017. (McGinn=Yeah!) - Under Eye repair from FFS 8/17/17 - Nose surgery-November 20, 2017 (Dr. Papel=Yeah) - Hair Transplant on June 21, 2018 (Dr. Cooley-yeah) - Breast Augmentation on July 10, 2018 (Dr. Basner in Baltimore) - Removed bad scarring from FFS surgery near ears and hairline in August, 2018 (Dr. Papel) -Sept. 2018, starting a skin regiment on face with Retin A  April 2019 -repairing neck scar from FFS

]
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Linde

Quote from: CarlyMcx on October 31, 2018, 03:36:49 PM
I am probably intersex, but not as much as you.  I don't have a visible adam's apple, and I never had any chest hair, or very much on my arms or legs, and I could never grow a full beard.

And the estrogen has been very, very good to my body.  My natural vocal pitch, (once I gave up talking with that deep chest voice that I had learned in my twenties) is about 185 Hz, so I'm in kind of androgynous territory there.  I had MPB on the right side and at the apex, but estrogen and antiandrogens fixed that.

Have fun shopping for clothes and trying them on.  Once you get over your inhibitions, you will discover a)  it's really, really fun, and b)  you need a girl to shop with in order to guide you on choices, help you see what looks good in the dressing room mirror.

There is really only one downer to clothes shopping -- and that's running out of closet space!
I have no shortage of closet space.  I live alone in a 2000 sqft house.  The problem might be shortage of funds available to fill the closet space.  I think that I could round up several shopping buddies/advisers
Just tested mine again, an I was also  in the androgynous territory.  Mine seems to fluctuate between around 180 hz as lowest, and around 249 Hz as highest average.  I think that some voice training cold lock my voice easily in the 210 Hz range
02/22/2019 bi-lateral orchiectomy






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Linde

Quote from: HappyMoni on October 31, 2018, 05:35:55 PM
I found that shopping on line is extremely useful for figuring your style. You can sit at home and go through massive amounts of choices to find what you like. In stores, it is okay, but the choices are more limited. Also, there is pressure to grab things that are so so, so you don't go home empty handed. As I look back, I settled for some lame things, when now, I don't  buy unless I really like it.
I actually prefer the hands on shopping feeling.  I never ever shopped for any clothing item online.  I want to be able to touch the fabric, and like to test how it falls and flows.  My family was involved in textile and weaving starting in the late 1700, and never elft the field.  My father was the first family member who was not involved in textile things.  I learned from early childhood on how to judge the quality of a piece of fabric by handling it. 
It is still inside me (the girl part of me  probably kept it alive?).
I always loved shopping for clothing items, I helped my wife with her stuff, and I always did my own.  No I just have to venture alone into the isles and touch as many clothing items as I can to get a feel for the materials that are used.  Once I have that knowledge, I might go and see what can be had online.
02/22/2019 bi-lateral orchiectomy






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Linde

OK, yesterday was the mega shopping day.  Two of my lady friends decided to get me onto the girls train as fast as possible.  And because of the fact that it was not their walled that got raided, they had a lot of great ideas what I need.

I bought two pairs of leggings (Lady's L fits pretty well, I just need to get more butt bacon), one with an attached mini skirt.  I bought some floor length pants that are almost a pant skirt, pretty light weight and elegant looking for those gala events.  As a top for those I bought some lacy looking thingy.  Two sweater jackets were added plus two necklaces and a air of shoes.

As high light of the days the ladies decided I should suffer and I got my ears pierced!
After about three hundred dollars less in my pocket, it was decided the shopping day would be over!

What a day to push me into womanhood!
02/22/2019 bi-lateral orchiectomy






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Jaime320

Sounds like a wonderful day. Thanks for sharing. Jealous wish I had gal pals to go shopping with.
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Linde

Quote from: Jaime320 on November 04, 2018, 11:21:15 PM
Sounds like a wonderful day. Thanks for sharing. Jealous wish I had gal pals to go shopping with.
I was tired like hell after that!  Most of my life I had way more female friends than male friends. Because of my intersex condition, I can deal with female emotions better than with male ones.  I have only three male friends, but twelve female friends.  Five of them are very close to me, and two of those went shopping with me.

I think you will find out that the more female you become, the more you will drift to other females, and because your emotions change toward the female side, you can understand each other way better at that time, and it is easier to make friendships once you are on similar emotional level.

We intersex people have some head start with becoming fully female!
02/22/2019 bi-lateral orchiectomy






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